Some guy pops out of your bathroom like a goddamned magic show!!

On Monday evening there was quite a lengthy discussion over at Jerry's Wheelhouse ( available @ www.wheelhouse.blogspot.com ) on the topic of female related feuds between athletes.

Needless to say, it was a very interesting read. Jerry's Wheelhouse is a well-written blog whose comments section serves as a message board of sorts for a group of friends, which includes both of the blog's contributors. Anyway, the discussion on the message board included stories about such well known feuds as the Jason Kidd-Jamal Mashburn-Toni Braxton love triangle of years gone by and a number of other feuds, some more well known than others. I suggest going by the page listed above and reading some of the discussion. The point of me telling you all of this is simple: As I was watching the Magic mail in yet another road game versus the Cavs, my thoughts turned to Jeff McInnis and the journeyman start to his NBA career which invariably led to me remembering a female related feud that included Jeff McInnis and then to another feud invloving Jeff and somebody else's lady friend. Don't ask me why I find this sort of thing completley enthralling. That's like asking a bird why it flys. They don't know why, they just do. Well the same goes for me and my love for smutty stories involving athletes. So without further ado, I present you the (admittedly sketchy) stories of Jeff McInnis and his one-eyed tarheel.

Circa 1999-2000: Jeff is playing for the Los Angeles Clippers and the Toronto Raptors are in town finishing up a west coast swing. On the morning of the game between LA and Toronto, the Clippers are finishing up their morning shootaround as the Raptors arrive to begin theirs. Soon after arriving in the gym, the Raptors are preparing to take the floor. As the Clippers are walking off the court, Charles Oakley walks right up to Jeff McInnis and doesn't say a word but instead punches McInnis square in the face, knocking McInnis to the ground. In typical Oakley fashion, Charles never says a thing to Jeff and continues on his way to the other end of the court. McInnis eventually gets up uninjured, though slightly dazed. It later comes out that Jeff and Charles were, uh, sharing the same plate of seafood if you know what I mean. Source: More than rumor as it was reported by numerous NBA beat writes who were present for this exchange.

1996: During his junior year at the University of North Carolina, McInnis was the third member of an elite triumvarate, that included Rasheed Wallace and Jerry Stackhouse, that all would end up declaring for the NBA draft after their junior seasons. While Wallace and Stackhouse were sure-fire lottery picks, it was widely assumed that McInnis declared due to a combination of academic ineptitude and reticence to play with a new cast of characters. While I'm quite sure that McInnis wasn't in danger of making the honor roll at anytime, there was a much larger reason for Jeff's early departure from Chapel Hill. Evidently, McInnis wanted to stick around for his senior year in order to boost his NBA stock into the first round area but was informed soon after the season by none other than Dean Smith himself that he would no longer be welcome in the Carolina program. The reason for this is that Jeff had allegedly been caught "practicing the four corners" with the wife of UNC's All-Time leading scorer and assistant coach Phil Ford...by Phil himself. Apparently this led to a minor scuffle between the two men and ultimately resulted in Jeff being asked to leave the Carolina family. Source: I lived in North Carolina during this time and this story was fairly well known among people with ties to the the university of North Carolina.