Friday, January 26, 2007

I'm cold, soo cold...

It stands to reason that no more than a week after I was bragging about the unbelievable winter weather down here in Florida that we would experience our worst cold snap of the winter thus far. It’s been in the 40s each of the past two nights and there doesn’t seem to be much relief on the horizon as the temperature will dip back into the low 40s/high 30s early next week after a slight warming (50s/60s) this coming weekend. Now, I’m sure that some of you out there would gladly give their right arm for temperatures in the upper 40s (Duper comes to mind here) and want to punch me in the face (Join the line, its gonna be a loooong wait) for even beginning to bitch about the weather at this time of year, but all I can say to that is this: I live in Florida and I expect to be able to go to the beach at all times.

Yeah, no shit bitch.

Is this realistic? Of course not. However, that doesn’t preclude me from whining like Mark Cuban every time the thermometer dips below 60 degrees. Honestly, its not all that bad. Now that it isn’t raining when the temperature drops (like all of December), its actually quite beautiful. The sun is out, there’s nary a cloud in the sky and, on top of all that, I got to use the heated seats in my car for the third time in three years this morning. All in all, I guess it could be much, much worse considering it’s the middle of January. But still, I'm fricking freezing down here! Do you have any idea how much whiskey I'm gonna have to drink to keep warm this weekend? Shouldn't I get free cab fare or something?

I don’t have much today but I didn’t want to go too much longer without some kind of post to keep things going.

We all know that MTV is the new ESPN, its basically a few live events lumped into a mass of reality TV shows. Most of which are about as intellectually stimulating as listening to Sean Salibury discuss his “little QB”. Which is precisely the reason I occasionally get sucked into these shows: Because I hate to have to think about anything other than alcohol, porn, sports and porn (Did I mention porn?). With that said, even I was a little shocked to see my hometown (or pretty dam close to it) featured on one of the new MTV reality shows, Engaged & Underaged. My girlfriend was watching the show and Tivoed it so she could show me some of the highlights. The premise of the show is exactly as it sounds: Young people who barely know their multiplication tables decide to get married despite being unable to legally purchase alcohol, cigarettes or even a damned lottery ticket. Anyway, when I heard of this show I was expecting a bunch of couples from Utah, Mississippi and the rest of the ass backward states in our beloved Union. Of course, the first damn show is based in Melbourne, FL. If you’re bored and want further proof that Florida is a special kind of scary (the kind that comes from mixing rednecks, immigrants and self important northerners with a touch of 90% humidity), well, watch the damn show. You’ll be severely disappointed…in humanity.
As sad as it was to watch these young people throw their lives away (Divorced at 22: Feel the Excitement!), it has warmed my heart to see the University of Florida make the most of their recent victory in the National Title game in order to further advance the recruiting assault that Urban Meyer has been waging on college football for the past two years. In the past week alone, the Gators have secured commitments from two 5-star defensive ends, Carlos Dunlap and Justin Trattou. With those two recent commitments and two weeks left until NSD, the Gators’ recruiting class currently resides at the #1 ranking. Finally, if you want to be amazed take a look at Dunlap’s recruiting video here. Pay special attention the the first clip on the video labeled "Scouting Video 2" that's located on the bottom of this page.

The way things are going, pencil him in for 2008...

Thats all I've got. I know it's light today, but what do you want from me? My people are a tropical people.

Kane: Well then why don't you get your Salakem Salaam ass off the cooler and pass me a muthafuckin' brew?

Jeez, I've got to stop hanging out in the hood so much.

Friday, January 19, 2007

Bitching my way to the weekend (horribly off-target picks inlcuded).

(In patronizing douchebag voice) Hey there guys, how’s everybody doing today?

Yep, we’re one week closer to the end of football for the better part of 7 months and to the never ending snoozefest affectionately known ‘round these parts as “baseball season”. Sure, I get excited to go catch a free Spring Training game or two in March as well, but who among us isn’t so bored to tears by meaningless fucking baseball games by mid-May that they’re drinking themselves to sleep by 8:30 every night? Really? There’s no way I’m the only one, right?

Anyway, I’m going to get to Sunday’s Conference title games in a minute, but first I have to cover a couple lingering issues from the past week.

First, all these new responsibilities at work are really starting to bum me out. I mean, how am I supposed to keep up with all of my research (read: reading of blogs) when every time I turn around there’s more work for me to do? Is this what the rest of you poor slobs have been dealing with for years now? If so, I’m amazed none of you have committed suicide or at least raped a stray cat out of pure, unadulterated frustration. You’re all much stronger than I am. Just ask the Tabby that’s been hanging around that dumpster behind the liquor store.

Umm, yeah, sorry about Tuesday.

Secondly, there’s no denying that Florida is an extremely backwards and fucked up state. If I ever doubted this, TJ has more than illuminated this fact to me throughout the last 6-8 months. However, with that being said, I can’t, for the life of me, understand why somebody wouldn’t want to live in the coastal areas of Central/South Florida. Seriously, its fucking sunny and 70 degrees here today and that’s the coldest its been in two weeks. While I’m as scared and mortified by the inbreds and walking dead in this state as the rest of America, they’re not that hard to avoid. We put all the living dead in self contained communities and make all the inbreds live on the wrong side of major highways (the interior, if you will). If you try hard enough, you can avoid these people almost entirely. You can also go to go the beach, have barbecues and drink outside in the middle of the winter. (Note: You can also fish too, but fishing is for the kind of people who find Carlos Mencia funny. These people can blow me where the pampers is.) Maybe its just me but no matter how hard I try I just can’t figure out why people choose to live in places where you have to do things like rake leaves, scrape windshields and drive in the snow. It literally boggles my mind.

Alright, now that I’ve bored every last one of you to tears, we might as well get to this weekend’s games.

Saints @ Bears: Chicago fans ought to be awfully glad that this game isn’t being played in New Orleans. No, not because of the enormous home field advantage that the Saints have playing in the Superdome or because the wintery weather in Chicago should slow down the positively Pac-10 offense of the Saints. While those are both solid reasons, here’s a better one:

The last time that Rex Grossman played a game in New Orleans (as well as fellow Bears Alex Brown, Ian Scott & Todd Johnson) he ended up getting drunk, getting in a fight with the Miami Hurricanes on Bourbon St. and, eventually, getting his ass handed to him by those same Hurricanes in the Sugar Bowl. If the Sex Cannon couldn’t concentrate with New Year’s Eve looming in his scope, how the hell could he be expected to get adequately prepared for a mere football game when there are hundreds, nay, thousands of young women of questionable morals just dying to get blasted by the Cannon in the Crescent City? Since the game in is Chicago though, the Bears have a shot at this one. Admittedly, its not a good shot since, you know, God and destiny have each chosen the Saints as their mistress but its still a shot. As much as we’re all tired of hearing about the myriad storylines involving the Saints, we won’t get a reprieve this week or next week (Who likes the Super Bowl bye week anyway?) for that matter. The Bears defense is just too banged up to contain the Saints offense. SAINTS

Consider Rex distracted...

Patriots @ Colts: One unexpected result of being out of the office for much of this week has been the lack of Manning-Brady coverage that I’ve had to endure. Basically, this means that I’ve only gotten about 36 total hours of articles, news reports and overall general chatter about this matchup. The way the media talks about these two and their impact on Sunday’s game you’d think that this was the championship game of a Flag Football tournament or something.

My hatred of Peyton Manning has been well documented in this space, as has my boredom with the Patriots as a whole. So, this basically lays out as the ultimate no win game for me. However, when pressed to pick a winner here, I’ll rely on my collegiate alliances to guide me. The Colts’ biggest star is Peyton Manning. Peyton Manning, as we all know, is a gay waterhead who went to Tennessee and wears tight jean shorts (like any self respecting/loathing homo). The Patriots, on the other hand, have two starting wide receivers who went to the University of Florida, both of who are responsible for some of the funnier moments of my collegiate life. (The Jabar Gaffney incident has been covered here before. As for Caldwell, well, he named his daughter Rechela even though his given name is actually Donald. Could I even make something like that up? Yes. Did I? No.) On top of that, the Patriots have a total of 5 Gators on their roster and Bill Belichick and Urban Meyer are BFF these days. I think you know where I’m going with this one. Manning finds a way to be less than impressive in yet another big game and…the Colts lose. PATRIOTS

In case you haven't been paying attention lately, I'm currently 2-6 in my playoff picks. So, yeah, you might want to disregard everything you just read.

One last thing: It came to my attention today that former porn star and stalwart of my early 20s Chasey Lain hails from Cocoa Beach, a mere 10 minute drive from my house. Evidently, she lived and "worked" in Cocoa Beach (home to approximately 35 Gentleman's clubs) before moving to LA to pursue stardom. How this slipped under my radar all these years is beyond me and frankly, I'm sorely disappointed in myself right now. Looks like its time to get back to work on that flux capacitor, and fast.)

Friday, January 12, 2007

(My beard's) The best around, no one's ever gonna keep it down!!!

While I’d like to say that I saw the 41-14 drubbing of Ohio State coming, I think we all know that everyone, Gator fans included, were somewhat taken aback by the ease with which the Gators so thoroughly dominated the Buckeyes on both sides of the ball. While its easy to say now, I (nor anyone with whom I watched the game with) panicked when Ted Ginn, Jr. took the opening kickoff back for a TD. If nothing else, this was a resilient Gator football team, one which was far too tough and had overcome far too much to roll over after being punched in the mouth by their opposition. In fact, it was my feeling that the game’s opening play would wake the Gators up and allow them to go out and simply execute the game plan. A game plan which would quickly prove to be vastly superior in every way imaginable to the game plan laid out by Cheaty McSwea, er, Jim Tressel.

While the Gator defensive line was absolutely dominating, the defensive staff at Florida deserves some level of credit for the blitz package that they installed for OSU. Early on, Florida’s scheme resembled something out of the mind of Eagles Defensive Coordinator Jim Johnson, with players blitzing from all angles and positions. The Gator defensive staff rightfully concluded that their defense was faster than OSU in nearly every matchup on the field and designed a defense that would maximize these mismatches. While it certainly didn’t hurt to have two future 1st round picks lining up at either end, the Gator defensive dominance went deeper than simply blowing by the brawny Buckeye tackles. Of course, one player made much of this possible: Reggie Nelson. Nelson was the one player who OSU seemed genuinely afraid of on the Gator defense was also the player whom allowed the Gator defensive staff to get creative while scheming for OSU. When you don’t fear being beaten deep in the passing game, it makes it an awful lot easier to design ways to stop the opposing offense. As simple as this may sound, it was the most basic of truths for this Gator team all season long. Reggie Nelson made everybody around him better and conversely, ended up playing on the best defense in the nation this year. It will be a long. long time before there is another player at the University of Florida that I love watching as much as Reggie Nelson. This was true before Monday night and will continue to be true for years to come.

As for the personal side of Monday night, it was, without a doubt, one of the greatest nights of my adult life. A 3 hour orgy of adrenaline, alcohol and out and out celebration. I’ve had a remarkable run as a sports fan over the last 10 months, however none of the three championships I’ve experienced can hold a candle to the feeling of satisfaction that I derived from watching this Gator football team overcome the odds and doubters to stand atop the college football world. Finally, there’s one last point I’d like to make with regards to Monday night:

My beard is fucking magic. There I said it. I usually grow a beard a couple of times a year in order to appease my girlfriend who, strangely enough, finds it very attractive. The last two times I began to grow my beard were the first weekend of the NCAA Tournament last March and prior to this season’s game against South Carolina. In both instances the Gators went on to go undefeated whilst I had a beard and, eventually, win the National Championship. So, for anybody who needs further explanation:

Mark’s beard + Florida Gator Athletics = National Championship.

Shouldn’t I get a ring or something?

Alright, now that I’ve gotten that out of the way we can get to the picks for this weekend’s slate of playoff games. After starting off 2-0 last Saturday, I quickly came back down to earth on Sunday which left me at 2-2 for the playoffs. Onto the picks:

Colts @ Ravens:

At the risk of pissing off Jerry I’m gonna just go out and say it: Peyton Manning looked like crap against the Chiefs. I mean, the guy had three picks in the first two and a half quarters. Two of which were thrown directly at a defender. I realize that the blaming of Colts playoff losses on Manning has gotten way out of hand, but sometimes you have to face reality. Manning has played embarrassingly bad in most of his playoff games. Even if you look past his gay feet (they are that happy), which would embarrass even Ben Vereen, its tough to believe in a guy whose body language and production have been so consistently underwhelming throughout the playoffs during the supposed prime of his career. Personally, I’d take Ray Lewis over Manning in a game of Connect Four at this point, if only because I think a black man of Lewis’ nature positively scares the living piss right out of Manning in any situation, much less one that allows hitting of the hair and face. With that in mind, I think this pick will come as no surprise. RAVENS.

Eagles @ Saints:

Everybody is talking about how this is a “no-win” situation for Philly. Um, excuse me? Have you ever had the food in New Orleans? Good god, Andy Reid might need an angioplasty before Saturday night’s kickoff. If you can get that fat in a city that considers Cheez Wiz a delicacy, I’m pretty sure that you’ll find a way to manage in a city that built it’s rep on food and booze. As for the game, its tough to imagine the Eagles going into New Orleans and winning, especially after they gave away the regular season matchup with the Saints in New Orleans. However, something about the Eagles just tells me they win this one (even without Lito), if only so we can see their pathetic fan base get all excited again only to be heartbroken once more in the NFC Championship game. In other news, did you hear that Yao Ming is dating Nia Long? That’s got to be at least a little embarrassing for Reggie Bush, no? Sure, Yao is 7’6” and all but he IS Chinese. Kind of puts a dent in that whole “going black” theory, huh? EAGLES

Seahawks @ Bears:

I’d love to see Rex Grossman play well in this game for two reasons: (1) He went to the University of Florida and (2) the pieces on the “Sex Cannon” from Kissing Suzy Kolber are among the funniest things on the internet today. Another couple weeks of those are reason enough to root for a Bears victory on Sunday. Beyond that, I just don’t think that Seattle is very good. The secondary is banged up, the offensive line has struggled to replace Chad Hutchinson and Matt Hasselbeck’s been surprisingly inconsistent this year. All of that and some typical Chicago winter weather has me thinking that this has all the makings of a Sunday afternoon snoozer/hangover cure. SEX CANNONS

Patriots @ Chargers:

Hey did you hear that Shawne Merriman sent Jason Taylor some “lights-out” gear and a box of popcorn so that Taylor could watch the Chargers in the playoffs? Isn’t that funny and original? You know what I would do if I were Taylor? I’d send Merriman a box of needles and a Whizzinator and a note that says something like, “Try and not to get caught again you lowlife douchebag.” But maybe I’m just mean and vindictive and find it positively ridiculous that Merriman has gotten a free pass from the national media for his steroid suspension. Or, maybe I want to jab a fork in Merriman’s temple every time he does his stupid fucking “lights out” dance. I think the only thing that could be more inane that that dance would be a tattoo of light switch on his forearm. Oh wait…nevermind. I guess, I should say something about this game at some point, so here goes: I wouldn’t trust Marty Schottenheimer to balance my checkbook in January, much less win a playoff game and Bill Belichick likes nothing more than reminding everybody in the country what a goddamned genius he is (Well, other than doing married chicks). Tom Brady bangs goats, but at least he does it to celebrate winning playoff games. Meanwhile, Phillip Rivers just bangs goats because he’s from Alabama and thinks they’ve got purty mouths. Do you see a them developing here? No, actually you don’t because as I said last week, I’m so fucking tired of the Patriots. CHARGERS.

Monday, January 08, 2007

I'm too nervous to be clever...

After what seems like a couple months worth of waiting, the National Championship will be decided tonight in Glendale, AZ. After all this time and buildup, I feel like I could write a 400 page dissertation on tonight’s matchup and all its possibilities. Alas, I am at work and do not have the time nor the inclination to do as such. Hell, I can barely contain myself enough to finish putting together this post, so overrun is my body and mind with adrenaline, nervousness and anticipation. Today is a day unlike any I can remember as a sports fan. I’ve had teams playing for championships before but none who I follow so fervently as the University of Florida Football team, especially this incarnation. These next 6 hours are going to be among the longest of my adult life as all I really want is for this damn game to get started already. In the words of Sir Smoke-a-Lot, “I can’t take this shit no mo!”

My mental approach to this game has been different from my normal state of mind when it comes to Gator football. Normally, I’m nervous about playing the likes of Alabama or Ole Miss, yet, I’ve been remarkably calm in the face of the Ohio State juggernaut for the entirety of the lead up to this game. I even described my mindset to my brother-in-law over the holidays as “quietly confident”. That all changed less than an hour ago when a bad omen of historical proportions reared its ugly head. Allow me to explain:

This is (arguably) the football biggest game for the University of Florida since December 2001 when the #2 ranked Gators took on the University of Tennessee for a chance to play in the SEC Championship game and (possibly) the Rose Bowl. On the morning of that game, I awoke and began to let my dog out to use the bathroom. As I walked out my front door I reached back to grab the door and close it behind me. One problem: I had already swung the door shut. As I reached back, the door slammed shut on my unsuspecting finger. Immediately, I screamed various obscenities as my finger turned black and blue while throbbing uncontrollably. I would be in significant pain all day and Florida would lose one of the more heartbreaking games I ever personally witnessed. As I said later that evening, “I should’ve known that this was going to be a bad day.”

Fast forward to this afternoon. I went to the gym to workout on my lunch break, as I prepared to do a set of curls, I reached down to adjust the height of the preacher curl. As I did this, my hand slipped, and the arm rest came flying down…right on my finger. I jumped back, screamed and obscenity or two and them looked down at my hand to find it had already turned black and blue and (as a bonus) had also been sliced open and begun to bleed. Are you kidding me? What are the goddamned odds of this happening today, of all days? The only solace that I can take from this painful and disgusting coincidence is this: This time, I injured the ring finger on my left hand, which is the very same finger that would serve as the resting place for a National Championship ring. Hey, when the gods are clearly trying to fuck with you, you’ll take whatever you can get.

Now, back to the actual game and the people who actually have an effect on its outcome. I have chosen to focus on three key elements that will go a long way towards determining who ends up holding that crystal football by sometime after midnight tonight. These three categories are: X-Factors, Exploitable Weaknesses & Must Avoids.


For X-Factors, I’ve chosen players who are somewhat overlooked by your average media scribe. You won’t see guys like Antonio Pittman or Percy Harvin in here because, well, that’s too easy.

Florida: Jemalle Cornelius

He’s the forgotten man in UF’s receiving corps. Dallas Baker and Andre Caldwell get more balls thrown their way and Percy Harvin is the player whom you have to indentify whenever he’s on the field, but its Cornelius who holds the key to UF’s passing game tonight. He leads UF in yards per catch and is tremendously effective working from the slot. He struggled with an ankle injury late in the year but should be fully recovered by now and able to find room working against a solid but vulnerable OSU secondary.

OSU: Quinn Pitcock

Though he’s an All-American and probably the best player on the Buckeye defense, Pitcock seems to fade in the background on the OSU team so full of recognizable names and interesting storylines. However, without Pitcock the OSU linebackers wouldn’t have had nearly the kind of production that they’ve enjoyed this year. Furthermore, Pitcock must be able to effectively handle double teams AND occasionally disrupt plays in the Gator backfield in order to allow OSU to use their linebackers in coverage against Florida’s backs & receivers in the passing game as well as in containment of the Gators many options variations. If Pitcock cannot be a disruptive force then the Buckeye defense will be forced to use their LBs in the blitz which will limit OSU’s ability to change their defensive looks.

Exploitable Weaknesses

Florida: O-Line

OSU has a big, bruising Defensive line. While Florida has seen a number of talented d-line units throughout the year (LSU, UGA, Auburn) none have been as physical as the Buckeye line. If Ohio State can force UF into a one dimensional game plan (either through penalties or negative yardage plays) then the Buckeye defense will be able to disregard the misdirection plays and go after Chris Leak nearly every down. Florida must be able to protect Leak and keep the Buckeyes off balance if they’re going to be able to move the ball consistently against this OSU defense.

OSU: Secondary

OSU’s secondary has been its weakness all season long. I actually picked Michigan to beat OSU based on the fact that I didn’t believe that the Buckeye secondary could consistently stop Mario Manningham and the rest of the Wolverine receivers. While OSU did an adequate job in that matchup, they are going to face the most talented, and fastest receiver corps they’ve seen all year. Florida needs to spread the field and force OSU to matchup with their many talented receivers. If Florida is successful doing this, it may be in the Gators’ best interest to go with a more pass heavy gameplan in the second half, similar to what they ran against FSU or (more recently) what USC employed against Michigan.

Avoid at All Costs

Florida: Crippling mistake

For a team that is 12-1, there have been an awful lot of these types of play for the Gators this season. It’s become a running joke amongst Gator faithful that every game will include at least one shockingly awful decision from Chris Leak that directly leads to a turnover, or worse. While Leak has had some of the more memorable gaffes this season, he’s far from the only culprit. In Florida’s only loss of the season, three separate plays (Steve Rissler’s Holding penalty/Safety, Eric Wilbur’s blocked punt and TD return and, of course, Leak’s fumble at the Auburn 6) all conspired to steal a victory away from the Gators on a night when they didn’t even allow a offensive TD.

OSU: Turnovers

All year long, OSU has been able to avoid giving the ball away. The only way that Michigan was able to climb back into the game against the Buckeyes was through a couple of sloppy second half turnovers. This propensity for holding onto the ball has been a keystone of the Jim Tressel era in Columbus. Tressel’s OSU teams have thrived on playing sound defense, not turning the ball over and eventually wearing teams down with a consistent offensive gameplan. While this version of the Buckeyes is far more explosive than any of its prior incarnations, it effectiveness still lies in its ability to break other teams’ collective will by not allowing them second and third chances to remain in the game. Florida’s defense has been opportunistic all year long, tonight they’ll have to make the most of any and all opportunities presented to them.

As always, I’ll hold off on any predictions for this evening’s contest. I know it’s the biggest game I’ve ever been a part of as an alumnus of the University of Florida and I know that it’s not a night I’ll soon forget. Beyond that…I don’t have a clue what to expect.

Do the Gators have just a little more magic left in them? I sure hope so.

Friday, January 05, 2007

My swag is phenomenal...My picks, well, that remains to be seen.

This has been one hell of a busy week. So busy, in fact, that I’m somewhat surprised that it’s nearly over. Between getting back to work after two weeks off and taking over some additional responsibilities (which are much more in depth than I had been led to believe) I’ve hardly had time to waste away company dollars while perusing the many blogs which I so often visit during the average workday. So, as you might imagine, it hadn’t even crossed my mind to post in this space until earlier this morning when I realized that I couldn’t possibly let the NFL Playoffs kickoff without at least providing some hastily compiled analysis and predictions. Without further ado:

Chiefs @ Colts: A lot of people are looking at Indy’s porous run defense and Larry Johnson (Its just like you white people to stare at a black man) and quickly calling this the upset of the weekend. I, however, am not one of these people. Say what you will about Peyton Manning (seriously, say whatever you but he’s yet to lose this early in the playoffs and I have a hard time believing that this KC team will be the one to make it happen. While Johnson should have a field day with Indy’s D, I can’t see KC’s D keeping the Colts offense down long enough to allow Johnson to pound the ball at them for 4 quarters. A lot of things have changed in the NFL this year but here’s something that hasn’t: The Chiefs defense, especially their secondary, still sucks. The fast track in Indy plays to the strength of the Colts on both sides of the ball and KC doesn’t have enough playmakers on either side of the ball to make this dream upset a reality. I’ll take the Colts by a couple of TDs. COLTS

Cowboys @ Seahawks: Apparently it rains all the damn time in Seattle during the winter. I have this on good authority. I’ve also heard that the fans in Seattle get abnormally loud for NFL fans. The combination of wet conditions and people yelling mean things at high volumes doesn’t sound like a good combination of factors for Droppsy McSensitive, or, as he’s known to some, Terrell Owens. Neither Dallas or Seattle have inspired much confidence with their recent play so I’m going with the home team that has a playoff experienced QB. Seriously that’s it. Wait, I do have one request. Could we find the dude who bashed Ken Hamlin’s head in and get him a Cowboys locker room pass? I’ve got a few guys who I’d like him to meet. SEAHAWKS

Jets @ Patriots: Did you know that Eric Mangini used to work for Bill Belichick? Really, he did. Somewhat recently too, if I’m not mistaken. I figured I’d let you in on this nugget since you’re unlikely to hear about it at any point this weekend. Its uncanny how stories like this always seem to slip under the collective radar of sports media. Luckily for you, I’ve got my ear to the pulse of the sports worlds brain waves. That’s right, just go ahead and try to screw up a metaphor as badly as I just did. I guess I should say something about this game at some point, so here goes: Boston vs. NY, except its really Foxboro vs. New Jersey…feel the hatred. Oh yeah!! You know what? I’m so fucking bored with the Patriots. Lets just go with the fat kid. JETS

Giants @ Eagles: Do you think we could fly the Hamlin Basher across country for this game? If so, I have a full days worth of work for him within the Giants locker room. What a bunch of annoying, overhyped douchebags on this team. I’m not sure what to think of this game. I mean, with the way the regular season concluded it should be a win for the suddenly hot (or bi-curious)Eagles. However, the Giants are the more talented team (on paper) and the Eagles seem ripe for a fall. I’m going to bet against the gay QB and go with the one afflicted with Downs Syndrome. Risky, I know but, hey, that’s why they call it gambling. ( Honestly, I have no clue about this game. None whatsoever.) GIANTS

Finally, if you’re so hard up for football that you need a fix early Saturday afternoon, tune in to NBC where the Army High School All-American game is being broadcast from San Antonio. It’s a glorified practice that also serves as a press conference for a couple dozen kids who announce their collegiate choices while the game is in progress. Florida has four commits playing tomorrow as well as a number of other prospects who list the Gators as favorites. It should be interesting to see what (if any) additional commits that Gators (among others) receive tomorrow.
Hopefully, I’ll have enough time over the weekend to write a post on Monday’s National Championship Game/3.5 hour heart attack in Glendale. If all goes well (read: I don’t spend the entire weekend drinking/drunk) then I’ll have it up and ready for perusal sometime Monday morning. Enjoy the weekend and, more importantly, enjoy the football…we only have so much left.