Friday, January 05, 2007

My swag is phenomenal...My picks, well, that remains to be seen.

This has been one hell of a busy week. So busy, in fact, that I’m somewhat surprised that it’s nearly over. Between getting back to work after two weeks off and taking over some additional responsibilities (which are much more in depth than I had been led to believe) I’ve hardly had time to waste away company dollars while perusing the many blogs which I so often visit during the average workday. So, as you might imagine, it hadn’t even crossed my mind to post in this space until earlier this morning when I realized that I couldn’t possibly let the NFL Playoffs kickoff without at least providing some hastily compiled analysis and predictions. Without further ado:

Chiefs @ Colts: A lot of people are looking at Indy’s porous run defense and Larry Johnson (Its just like you white people to stare at a black man) and quickly calling this the upset of the weekend. I, however, am not one of these people. Say what you will about Peyton Manning (seriously, say whatever you but he’s yet to lose this early in the playoffs and I have a hard time believing that this KC team will be the one to make it happen. While Johnson should have a field day with Indy’s D, I can’t see KC’s D keeping the Colts offense down long enough to allow Johnson to pound the ball at them for 4 quarters. A lot of things have changed in the NFL this year but here’s something that hasn’t: The Chiefs defense, especially their secondary, still sucks. The fast track in Indy plays to the strength of the Colts on both sides of the ball and KC doesn’t have enough playmakers on either side of the ball to make this dream upset a reality. I’ll take the Colts by a couple of TDs. COLTS

Cowboys @ Seahawks: Apparently it rains all the damn time in Seattle during the winter. I have this on good authority. I’ve also heard that the fans in Seattle get abnormally loud for NFL fans. The combination of wet conditions and people yelling mean things at high volumes doesn’t sound like a good combination of factors for Droppsy McSensitive, or, as he’s known to some, Terrell Owens. Neither Dallas or Seattle have inspired much confidence with their recent play so I’m going with the home team that has a playoff experienced QB. Seriously that’s it. Wait, I do have one request. Could we find the dude who bashed Ken Hamlin’s head in and get him a Cowboys locker room pass? I’ve got a few guys who I’d like him to meet. SEAHAWKS

Jets @ Patriots: Did you know that Eric Mangini used to work for Bill Belichick? Really, he did. Somewhat recently too, if I’m not mistaken. I figured I’d let you in on this nugget since you’re unlikely to hear about it at any point this weekend. Its uncanny how stories like this always seem to slip under the collective radar of sports media. Luckily for you, I’ve got my ear to the pulse of the sports worlds brain waves. That’s right, just go ahead and try to screw up a metaphor as badly as I just did. I guess I should say something about this game at some point, so here goes: Boston vs. NY, except its really Foxboro vs. New Jersey…feel the hatred. Oh yeah!! You know what? I’m so fucking bored with the Patriots. Lets just go with the fat kid. JETS

Giants @ Eagles: Do you think we could fly the Hamlin Basher across country for this game? If so, I have a full days worth of work for him within the Giants locker room. What a bunch of annoying, overhyped douchebags on this team. I’m not sure what to think of this game. I mean, with the way the regular season concluded it should be a win for the suddenly hot (or bi-curious)Eagles. However, the Giants are the more talented team (on paper) and the Eagles seem ripe for a fall. I’m going to bet against the gay QB and go with the one afflicted with Downs Syndrome. Risky, I know but, hey, that’s why they call it gambling. ( Honestly, I have no clue about this game. None whatsoever.) GIANTS

Finally, if you’re so hard up for football that you need a fix early Saturday afternoon, tune in to NBC where the Army High School All-American game is being broadcast from San Antonio. It’s a glorified practice that also serves as a press conference for a couple dozen kids who announce their collegiate choices while the game is in progress. Florida has four commits playing tomorrow as well as a number of other prospects who list the Gators as favorites. It should be interesting to see what (if any) additional commits that Gators (among others) receive tomorrow.
Hopefully, I’ll have enough time over the weekend to write a post on Monday’s National Championship Game/3.5 hour heart attack in Glendale. If all goes well (read: I don’t spend the entire weekend drinking/drunk) then I’ll have it up and ready for perusal sometime Monday morning. Enjoy the weekend and, more importantly, enjoy the football…we only have so much left.


CFunk28 said...

Its funny that people aren't mentioning KC's lack of Defense. They did give up over 30 to Jax. That and LJ's 924 carries this season. If he can put up big numbers one more week I'll be impressed by his conditioning. And be sure not to touch him w/ a 10 foot pole in my fantasy draft next season.

As far as the draft goes. I've got no problem w/ people coming here, except for the fact it sucks. There maybe somethings in the works, and the wife and I may be living in Ohio by draft day (Cleveland or Columbus area). This is still very much on the DL, that's why I'm plastering it on the world wide web.

And looking at that draft, if the Browns don't trade up for Brady Quinn, they better take Joe Thomas (LT, Wisc.). If not, I may take a year off from the NFL.

And something to think about. Cowher takes a year off, the Browns fire Crennel after 2007, and hire their former Special Teams Coach/LB as the head guy. Afterall, they did decide to go w/ Genius Bill over Cowher back in 1991. That worked out well.

joe said...

I think Quinn falls to the Browns. Al Davis will fall in love with Russells arm and grab him and then Matt Millen will realize he needs to win now to keep his job and grab Joe Thomas because Quinn won't help this year. Unless a trade happens that's how I see it going, granted it's very early. Plus, if the Bucs win the flip they'll take Gaines Adams.

Romeo is a sad teddy bear now that you're plotting his demise already.

NFL Picks: Colts (Jags ran it up because they had two backs, LJ has a good game but not good enough), Pats (in a rout), Seahawks (Tony Romo has a terrible, terrible game) and Giants (every bone in my body is disgusted by them, but I'm stuck with em)

Mark said...

Good to see even you hate the Giants, Joe. So...hateable.

Good call on Al falling in love with Russell. I firmly believe I'll be the only person in America who isn't entranced by his physical gifts come April. I'm telling you, he's NOT THAT GOOD. I don't trust him to read a menu much less a zone blitz.

The Cowher scenario is every Browns fans dream. That would be a special scenario for both parties I'd think. Plus, if he's succesful there he'll go down as one of the all-time greats.I'm sure they'll find a way to fuck it up in Cleveland though.

Speaking of Cleveland, if you cause me to return to that hellhole, well, I'm gonna get drunk and try and fight you (Joe gets the year off). I'm down for a trip up there (hopefully Columbus) if you end up moving. Way to keep it of the down low, by the way.

One more thing: I'm also not sold on Joe Thomas. I know he's a freakish athlete and grades out well. However, OTs who spent most of their collegiate careers in exceedingly run-heavy systems always give me pause in the Draft.

CFunk28 said...

Great point on Thomas. Its always easier to be a road grater than a good pass blocker.

And I totally agree on Russell. Big arm, big build, and no head. He totally reminds me of Culpepper, and we've seen how good he's been since he had to start reading defenses.

And I don't understand how head to head matchups effect everything in the NFL except the draft order. The Bucs beat the Browns, so shouldn't they be considered the better team and pick #4.

And you're right about Cowher. The Browns will/would totally screw that up.

TJ said...

I heard there's some sort of game tonight?

Mark said...

Dont worry about it. Its not a very big deal.