Can a white guy be Mr. CIAA? Please!?

I had my first day off since Super Bowl Sunday yesterday and "it was glorious"...actually it was below average, at best, as I ended moving from 9am until five or six in the evening. Sadly, I'm not even completely moved in and will have plenty of situating to do this evening when I get home. One thing that definitely brightened up my day was tuning in to the second half of the CIAA conference tournament final. Initially it seemed like one of the worst turns of fate possible as I was blessed with the commentating stylings of none other than Stephen A. Smith. I wasn't aware that he even did anything other than yell at Marc Stein and Greg Anthony during NBA Shootaround but boy was I wrong...Stephen A. can yell at viewers while ignoring the action on the court as well.

Within five minutes my eardrums were bleeding and even my dog Tinsley was reaching for the bottle of Xanax...but then the most awesome dude I've ever seen appeared on my TV screen. His name is Abraham Mitchell and he goes by the moniker "Mr. CIAA". Apparently, Abraham is a resident of Suffolk, VA and attends each and every CIAA tourney because...well, its the goddamned CIAA conferencew tourney, that's why! This guy changes clothes every half hour and only wears suits that match the colors of CIAA teams. This is what I read on the internet about him at least. I'm of the opinion that this information may be somewhat erroneous as I'm not sure which CIAA team has pink in its colors. That's right, the man was wearing a pink suit named "bubblicious" and was not just pink but "champale", which I did not know was a color. As you can probably tell these aren't your standard suits but more along the lines of the suits that Mr. Whitefolks wears. How this guy became known as Mr. CIAA is beyond me but I think that the SEC should adopt this promotional tool. I'm quite sure we could find plenty of pimps willing to take a weekend out of their year in order to attend the SEC tourney between the states of Georgia, Alabama, Mississippi and the rest. I wish I was making at least some of this up but sadly I'm 100% serious about all of this, even about the SEC.