Like most NBA fans, I've been aware that Gilber Arenas is a nutjob for quite some time now. I guess it all started to come to light during Arenas' second season in the NBA, right around the time he started dropping 30 on people on a weekly basis while he was in the process of winning the NBA's Most Improved Player Award (and a hefty free agent contract from the Washington Wizards). Well as I was wasting copious amounts of company time today, I came across an article from Sunday's Washington Post which only served to round out my knowledge of Gilbert's overall wackiness while also helping to further develop my love (ngs) for the World's Most Famous Arenas. Here, now, are some highlights from the article for your reading pleasure:
-Gilbert is of Cuban descent (his grandfather) which immediately makes him at least 30% more crazy than any black NBA player. Personally, with a last name like Arenas, I would've guessed Lithuanian.
- Arenas wears size 13 shoes on his size 14.5 feet. Why? Well because he doesn't want his feet to look too big, Duh. I think we all know that any shoe size over 13 is just ridiculously large and definitely something to be embarrassed over.
- Gilbert's pregame superstitions include always listening to the same music in the same order while always parking in the same parking spot, all pretty standard stuff. Some of his other rituals include always eating Boston Market(?) as a pregame meal and tickling the armpit of Antawn Jamison before the opening tip. Read that last sentence again. Under no circumstances can I ever imagine why I would tickle the armpit of a grown man...okay, one. I can think of one scenario but there's no way in hell that I could ever think of another.
- After not being selected in the first round on the NBA Draft, Gilbert was so distraught that he threw his newly purchased jewelery out the window of the hotel that he was staying in. Shrewd move. Coincidentally, when I didn't get the raise I was expecting I ALSO threw my platinum chain and charm (Pac-Man, if you must know) out of the window...of my office.
-Finally, there's this quote from former teammate Troy Murphy which pretty much sums up Gilbert's personality for all, "They used to make him get doughnuts, a rookie thing. I would come in early and he'd be putting baby powder [as if it was powdered sugar] on the doughnuts or licking them and putting them back in the box. He would look at me and laugh whenever someone would eat one. That's when I shut down eating doughnuts."
I think that I speak for everyone when I say...Gilbert, you are an inspiration to us all.
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2 comments:
Gilbert Gottried, a not-very-funny comedian who built a (semi)career out of sreaming?
I think the title of the article was "Wizards believe in Gilbertology", which is pretty crappy for a major east coast newspaper, if you ask me.
On a another note, I would love to see "What's Eating Gilbert Arenas?" with Steve Blake reviving Leo DiCaprio's role as the retarded brother and Etan Thomas playing the morbidly obese mother.
Of course, Phil Fulmer is a natural for Thomas' part but I think he might have his hands full down in Knoxville.
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