St. Augustine is sooo old. I mean look at it, its old.

I have just returned earlier today from the wedding of a friend in St. Augustine which, in case you haven't heard, is America's oldest city. If you didn't know this upon your arrival to St. Augustine, I gather that it would take you approximately 5.2 seconds before you figured this out. Mainly due to the fact that every other sign in the city is in someway related to the founding of St. Augustine. Other than that minor annoyance, I found the city to be quite enjoyable and a much better destination than I would have ever imagined. I had been to St. Augustine once before, on the obligatory Florida public school field trip in fifth grade and had never given the city much thought since then. I must say that I was impressed with the quaintness of the city, more specifically, its downtown area. If I had to describe the setting, I would label it as a poor man's New Orleans, meaning that the architecture and such were similar to New Orleans, but on a much smaller scale. All in all, it was a very enjoyable weekend, which makes being at work today all the more painful.

Even though I was away, I was able to watch Deadwood and come to the realization that Ms. Isringhausen is a filthy slut, which I think is a good career move for her. I sure hope that Swearengen's eye gets better because I'm getting really tired of seeing it all full of blood and cockeyed. I got enough of that sort of thing from the locals in Gainseville over the past seven years. And Trixie has had seven abortions? Wow. I don't even have a joke about that.

One thing I do have plenty of jokes about is Shawn Kemp being arrested with another man last night in a Chevy pickup for possession of "a small amount of cocaine and 60 grams of marijuana". Good to see the Reign Man is back in the Pacific Northwest and spending quality time with his kids. Who thinks that Shawn Kemp would've been alot better off if he had just taken a cue from Kurt Cobain and went down in a blaze of self inflicted shotgun wound glory? I know I do. Then again, I also think that somebody should've assassinated Snoop Dogg after the release of "Doggystyle". I mean seriously, if he had died tragically, Kemp would be the straight from high school equivalent to Drazen Petrovic. If Drazen had squired between 15-27 kids across varied parts of Eastern Europe, of course.

In more drug related news...Can anybody tell me if there is a better, more exciting lead-in phrase than "in drug related news"? I mean, it always gets interesting after those four words, always. Anywho, comedian Mitch Hedberg was found dead at 37 in his New Jersey hotel room on Sunday morning. There has been no confirmation on the cause of death but anybody who has seen Hedberg perform can rest assured that drugs, in one way or another, were prominently involved. I was more taken aback by this news than that of the Pope's passing. Partially because we knew the Pope was going to kick it ,sooner or later, for awhile now and partially because I enjoy comedy alot more than I enjoy religion. For those of you unfamiliar with Hedberg's comedy, here are a couple of my favorite lines of his:

"I hate turkeys. If you stand in the meat section at the grocery store long enough, you start to get mad at turkeys. There's turkey ham, turkey bologna, turkey pastromi...Someone needs to tell the turkey, man, just be yourself."

"I can't get into flossing, I can't. People who smoke say you don't know how hard it is to stop smoking. Yes I do. It's as hard as it is to start flossing. You seem jittery. Yeah, I'm about to floss. "

"The depressing thing about tennis is that no matter how much I play, I'll never be as good a a wall. I played a wall once. They're relentless."

"I bought a donut and the guy gave me a recieipt for the donut. I don't need a receipt for the donut, I give you the money, you give me the donut, end of transaction. We do not need to bring ink and paper into this. I can not imagine the scenario where I would have to prove that I bought a donut. Some skeptical friend. Don't even act like I didn't get that donut. I got the documentation right here."

I'm not exactly sure why I posted some of these, other than the fact that I think this guy was hilarious. Its always sad when a young talent dies, except when that young talent is planning on mailing it in for the next ten plus years. In that case, the young talent should just go ahead and die and save us all the trouble.

I am extremely excited about tonight's game. It has the potential to be one of the most exciting and competitive championship games in recent memory. There hasn't been a really enthralling championship game in quite some time and frankly, it always puts a damper (for me, at least) on the tourney itself when it ends on a whimper. If I had my way, tonight's game would end up with Illinois winning by a score of 86-84 or something close to that and both teams making big play after big play down the stretch. I have no real reason for wanting Illinois to win, other than my affinity for all three of their guards and my feeling that they are the best "team" that I can remember watching in the last five years or so. More than anything, I want a classic game and I want to see Roy Williams cry...maybe I should clarify that last statement, because win or lose, I think we all know that Roy Williams is going to cry tonight. I want Roy Williams to cry tears of pain and to cry as he thinks about another off-season spent answering questions about not being able to win the big one.

One last thing" Tonight is the five year anniversary of Billy Packer calling Teddy Dupay a "thug' after he laid a particularly hard foul on Mateen Cleaves during the 2000 National Championship game. If that foul made Dupay a thug than what the hell is Charles Oakley or Xavier Mcdaniel? The spawn of satan himself would be my guess.