Urban Revolution

In the immortal words of Duke Tango, “Ohhhh Baby!!”.

That’s right, it’s Friday and I have a full weekend ahead of me…well almost full as we have a home game tonight followed by a post game fireworks show, which means I probably won’t be leaving the stadium until around 11 or so. It's amazing how excited all of these slack-jawed yokels get for some fireworks. You really have to see it to understand the phenomenon.

Not to worry, I will fight through my disdain for all of the people that frequent our stadium if only because I know if I’m able to do this then they’ll be a nice cold glass of Jagermeister awaiting me whenever I arrive at my local watering hole. I haven’t been this excited about a weekend in quite awhile. Not only will I have the entire to weekend to myself but I’ll also be attending a concert in Orlando tomorrow night .

Oh yeah, and the Urban Meyer Era officially gets underway tomorrow as the Gators will grace Florida Field at Ben Hill Griffin Stadium for the annual Orange and Blue Game at noon. I just talked to a friend of mine who works for the UAA at Florida and she said that they’re expecting over 50,000 people to attend tomorrow’s scrimmage. Read that last sentence again. You don’t think that people are a little excited about the new guy do you? I was planning on attending the scrimmage as well in order to get a first hand look at the new spread offense. Yet, with tonight’s game having the potential to be such a late finish I figured that I would just catch the TV replay on Sunday afternoon. It’s great to live in an area of the country where football scrimmages are televised. There’s that and all the varied species of mullets that I get to see on a daily basis as well.

Other than that, I don’t have a lot today with the exception of a few random comments/observations.

- If I'm ever on "Pimp My Ride", I want a Slurpee machine installed in my car. Not some cheap knockoff Icee Machine goddammit. An effin' Slurpee machine.

- Kelenna Azubuike has declared for the NBA draft and signed with an agent. I have no idea what he was thinking since he’ll be lucky, actually very lucky to get picked in the second round. I would’ve loved to see Tubby Smith’s reaction when he heard this news. I’m betting his look was a combination of his normal “crazy eyes” and the look that you make when you unexpectedly step into a freshly “fumigated” bathroom. In a related story, every coke dealer with ties to the NBA just got a two way with nothing but a picture of Azubuike’s nostrils.

- Oklahoma State signee and McDonald’s Slam Dunk Champion Gerald Green is applying for the NBA Draft as well. Anybody who saw either his performance in the Slam Dunk Contest (which was lovely) or the post contest interview could’ve predicted that this was going to happen about two minutes afterwards. I haven’t heard a person sound so uncomfortable speaking the English language since the time I met Tony Pena during Spring Training when I was 12.

- I watched some of HBO’s “Hookers at the Point: Revisited” with my girlfriend last night. I have seen the original and various other incarnations of this documentary but she hadn’t so (per her request) I put it on for awhile, a very short while. I cannot describe to you how spectacularly uncomfortable it is to watch grainy footage of filthy hookers and even filthier johns having sex while sitting on the couch with your girlfriend is. I would’ve rather watched six consecutive hours of “The View”. Seriously.

- What’s the point of changing the name of a franchise from the Bullets to the Wizards if you’re just gonna end up wearing throwback jerseys (for 20+ games) and selling these same jerseys that say Bullets on them. Based on the original logic for the name change, isn’t this marketing strategy accomplishing basically the same thing that the good people in the Washington front office were trying to avoid?

Fuck you. Fuck you. You’re cool. Fuck you. I’m out!