I challenge Jay Cutler's Dad to a duel...seriously.

Did you see that bama on Saturday night? He was openly taunting fans in the Swamp with his version of the chomp. Wow, that's original...nobody has ever had the presence of mind to mockingly turn around our own cheer on us. Bravo Mr. Culter, Bravo indeed. For those of you who missed it, he was a shining example of exaclty the kind of restraint and decorum that we've all come to expect from the fine men and women that patrol our nation's highways. Pure class, all the way.


There's nothing quite like writing this blog from home. Mostly because I don't have to pretend that I'm actually working on something while I'm in the middle of putting this thing together. It really affects my writing and, consequently, my mood when I have to deal with some donkey's question about their membership or about the availability of adult swim lessons.

Listen, It's not my fault that you never learned to swim during the summers of your youth like a normal person, so don't go ruining my day with your inane questions and horrible breath.

Anyway, I stayed home from work today for a Doctor's appt. that lasted all of 45 minutes...total. To me their is nothing quite like taking a random day off of work in the middle of the week. It really breaks up the work week, you should try it sometime. The day off also allowed me to stay up last night and have a few while I watched the Pats-Colts matchup on MNF. I should have known that my decision virtually guaranteed a lopsided game. I was going to write some analysis of the game today but it hardly seems worth it after the dominating performance that Peyton Manning and Co. put on. In hindsight, I/we should've all seen this coming. The Pats are completely, ridiculously, over-the-top beat up. For instance, last year's emergency replacement at corner (Randall Gay) was the starting safety last night and the second most experienced player in the Pats secondary (with regards to the Pats' defensive system). Of course, Gay ended up moving back to corner in the second quarter of last night's game due to the unbelievably inneffective Duane Starks.

The Colts, on the other hand, haven't had a single injury of note on either side of the ball and were as prepared (both mentally and with regards to gameplan) as anybody has ever seen when going into a matchup against this Pats team. This is not to say that the Colts impossible to beat last night. Rather, the Patriots needed nearly every break to go their way in order to achieve victory yesterday evening. Without those breaks, a victory was going to be nearly impossible. The game's key moment (in my estimation) came shortly after Manning was intercepted by Mike Vrabel. The Pats seemed ready to make a game of it and were quickly gaining momentum as they surged down field. Then Corey Dillon fumbled and the Colts recovered. If the Pats had gone down and tied it up on that drive, we may have seen Manning tighten up a little and start forcing things, as he is wont to do. A 14-14 tie midway through the second would've tested the Colts' resolve as well as Manning's dedication to the gameplan. However, once Dillon fumbled it was as if the Colts knew they had been issued a reprieve. They immediately responded with a touchdown drive of their own which resulted in a 21-7 lead. After that the Pats were forced to throw even more than they currently do (which is a ton, by the way). Does any of this mean that Indy is the best team in the AFC? Of course not. It does, however, mean that the rest of the AFC is going to be hard pressed to wrestle home field advantage from the Colts. That alone could mean the Colts will end up as your AFC Champions as I believe that homefield advantage is as (if not more) important to Indy as it is/was to team's like Pittsburgh and New England. If you play in a dome all year long it's damn near impossible to go win the biggest game of the year in 10 degree weather in front of a hostile crowd. A couple of other notes from last night's game:

-Did anybody else see the guy from Brand Nubian/Oz (Lord Jamar, I believe) on the Patriots' sideline last night? I think that the Pats have him listed as "Mike Stone" on their roster but I'll eat my hat if that's his real name.

- Why does Vince Wilfork introduce himself as having attended the "University of Miami" in stead of "The U" like all the other former 'Canes in the NFL? Can't you just imagine guys like Michael Irvin and Clinton Portis calling him up in the just before he appears on Monday Night and saying something like, "Now Vince, when it comes time to say what school you went to what are you going to say?

Wilfork: The University of Miami?
Irvin: NO!!!! It's the U! Remember? It's all about the U!
Wilfork: Okay...so the U of Miami?
Irvin: Awww! C'mon Vince it's not that hard, just say The U?
Wilfork: Huh, what? My bad, I was heating up a taquito.
Irvin: Forget it.

At least that's how it goes in my head.

- How did Duane Starks get so awful in the last couple of years? At one point, not very long ago, Starks was considered the better of the two starting corners for Baltimore (along with Chris McAlister). Then he went out to Arizona after signing a lucrative free agent deal with the Cardinals. Maybe it's that he's been hiding out in the desert for the last five years and nobody has bothered to talk about his precipitous drop off in level of play. It's not that hard to believe that maybe he just got lost in the shuffle of unabashed mediocrity that exists in Arizona. What I do find hard to believe is that the Patriots could've misjudged his talent (or lack thereof) so badly this off-season. For a front office that is generally regarded as the most cromulent talent evaluators in the business to miss so badly in a position of such dire need in free agency is extremely perplexing. This isn't some bum that the Patriots brought in off the street to plug a hole (I'm looking at you Arturo Freeman) that I'm talking about here. I know that he has had some injury issues in the past but that's hardly an excuse considering the Patriots had full opoortunity to give him a physical before acquiring him this summer.


Now onto a few items regarding other sports teams that I follow with special interest:

-The Magic are 0-3 and staring a fourth loss directly in the face tonight as they go in to Houston to take on Yao and the Rockets. On the bright side, T-Mac is out so I won't have to endure a full night of him torching helpless Magic defenders with vengeance in his eye. Notice I said eye, not eyes. The reason being that McGrady has a lazy eye which makes it highly unlikely that he would have vengeance in his eyes. Vengeance takes alot of effort, far more than his lazy eye is capable of putting forth because, well, it's lazy. On a serious note, it's already become painful to watch the Magic stumble about the court during this young season. Put simply, they are a team with a number of pieces that do not fit together. They have no inside scoring threat and no real playmakers now that Grant Hill is out for at least 6 weeks. In addition, they have only one consistent outside shooter and even that's a stretch since you're applying the word "consistent" to the play of Hedo Turkoglu. The one bright spot (other than Dwight Howard who is quickly becoming the sunshine of my life) thus far has been the play of Jameer Nelson who, despite his size, has been a menace defensively and has managed to energize the team and crowd whenever he's been in the ballgame. At this point, it's time to continue with this group until the front office can find a taker for Francis sometime around midseason, at which point the organization should then focus on building around Howard (and to a lesser extent Nelson and Turkoglu).

-The Bucs are awful. I officially gave up on Sunday when Chris Simms threw the easiest touchdown pass of the season to Chris Gamble. That throw made Drew Brees' pick in week 3 versus Denver look like merely a stroke of bad luck. I'm going to say it right now...there's no chance, I mean no chance that the Bucs will make the playoffs. Hell, they'll be lucky to finish above .500. Just look at their schedule the rest of the way: Skins, Falcons, Bears, Saints, Panthers, Patriots, Saints, Falcons. There's only one sure win in that bunch. It's time to face reality for Bucs fans. The reality being that the Bucs had an extremely easy early schedule that made them look alot better than they actually are. When you couple that with an injury to the only competent QB on your roster early in the season, you are more than likely looking at a pick in the single digits of Round 1. By the way, Derrick Brooks is a great player, a first ballot hall of famer, a Super Bowl Champion, even a former defensive MVP. So how come nobody is talking about how sad it is that he is having to endure such a sad and pathetic offense during the twilight of his career? Just wondering.

- You'll have to excuse me if I was unable to muster up any tears for the poor folks at Vanderbilt University over the weekend. I agree that the excessive celebration penalty that was called late in the fourth quarter was bush league. I agree that Vanderbilt would've gone for two if the penalty hadn't been called. I'll even go so far as to say that I believe, with the way Florida's defense was gassed, that Vanderbilt would've converted the two point try which, more than likely, would've resulted in a monumental upset of Florida. However, I won't pretend to feel bad for all the Ivy League rejects up in Nashville. In my estimation no team in recent college football history has received more raw deals courtesy of the referees than the University of Florida. In just the last three years Florida has suffered losses due, in part, to two of the worst officiating jobs that anybody could ever imagine. First there was the Swindle in the Swamp, as it's come to be known, against FSU in 2003, which more than any one game is responsible for the institution of instant replay in college football. Then there was the debacle against Tennesee during the late stages of last year's game in Knoxville. Even this year, the refs flagged Dallas Baker for a highly questionable offensive interference penalty during a crucial fourth quarter series against LSU. I guess what I'm trying to say is that Florida was owed one (if not more) and I'm glad that we finally came out on the right side of a blown and/or overbearing call.

Of course, all of this sets up Saturday's matchup against South Carolina and Stephen Orr Spurrier in Columbia. If the Gators win and Auburn knocks off Georgia on Saturday night then Florida would be headed back to the SEC Championship in Atlanta for the first time since 2000, when the Gators were coached by none other than Mr. Spurrier. I'll talk about this game in a little more length later on in the week as it is a huge game for a number of reasons, only some of which have anything to do with the guys who'll be playing on Saturday afternoon.

As for now, I'm gonna leave you so I can set up the third TV that I just bought for $35 from one of the local beachside motels. My TV's are like the family I never had...except I have a family...only that don't operate via the use of a remote control like my TVs. Other than that, they're nearly identical.