Monday, February 07, 2005

Super Diary...sort of

5:56: It's just me, a cold bud light and my dog Tinsley settling in for the Super Bowl, though since it's not even six yet, we should probably have kickoff within about two hours...gotta love all the crap the NFL throws at you just to watch one damn football game.

5:57: Rockets beat the Lakers on ABC as a last second shot rims out on Lamar Odom. I only watched parts of the second half but apparently the Lakers mounted quite a comeback only to fall short as Bob Sura was too much for L.A. to handle, seriously. Sura's really resurrected his career in the past 8-9 months, before he had that run of triple-doubles with the Hawks late last year, most casual NBA fans would've told you he was out of the League.

5:58: There's not a bigger group of sellouts than the Black Eyed Peas,god I hate them...these guys were once considered a legitimately talented hip-hop group, now they would basically perform old exploitative vaudeville acts while painted in black face for the right price. I will say the white girl that they added is very attractive in a "girl you could screw in the back alley behind a nightclub" way...too bad she started her career as an actress on the saturday morning show "Kids Inc."...yeah, I have no life.

6:00: Evidently I missed Charlie Daniels as well as Earth, Wind, & Fire...I was waffling on my pick but now that I see the band who inspired the name of Pats DB Earthwind Moreland is performing, I'm sold. Pats will win...aren't you glad that you don't have to pay for my keen insight?

6:01: The Black Eyed Peas' frontman (Black guy with long dreads) just told the crowd to have a "Happy Football"...are fucking kidding me? This isn't a holiday. Is this the first sporting event he's ever attended?

6:03: I can't believe the NFL & Fox are making us watch some time filler featuring the Dad from American Pie as some cheesy physicist...who likes this shit? Furthermore, who oks ideas like this? Can I have his/her home address?

6:10: Alicia Keys is singing "America the Beautiful" with the help of the children from the Florida School for the Deaf & Blind. The deaf kids are all signing the words but the blind kids are all just standing there...that's right just a bunch of kids sitting on the field at the Super Bowl and they're all just standing there. Couldn't we have just gone with the deaf kids and stuck the blind kids down in the endzone or something? C'mon, they're would they know the difference? What's that? Of course I know that I'm going to hell.

6:11: Alicia Keys is pretty damn hot...jeez...I hope my girlfriend doesn't read this, you should've seen her reaction when I shushed her because Jessica Alba suddenly appeared on a re-run of "Entourage" last week...not good times.

6:12: I heard that Michael Chikliss form the Shiled is a HUGE asshole...this is coming from a guy I know who is an editor on that show...I know that its very hard to belive that an actor could have a huge over-inflated ego and be an asshole but thats what I've heard.

6:16: New England comes out (as a team) to Crazy Train, nice it safe to say that the days of individual player introductions are over at the Super Bowl? Once the Pats pulled that "Introduce us a team" on the Rams during that Super Bowl it just makes any team who does individual intros look like a bunch of selfish pricks.

6:21: Peter King sure loves "House" on Fox, just thought you'd like to know.

6:26: The tribute to the "greatest generation" was a very nice gesture, though I'd have been pretty pissed if I was one of the Tuskegee Airmen or Screaming Eagles and I had to share the spotlight with the damn Navy Waves. I'm all for equality but that's just ridiculous. Did anybody even know the Navy Waves existed before 2 minutes ago?

6:29: Nice national no way overdone or cheesy, even gave me a few goosebumps.

6:30: Ice Cube is the new "XXX"? I'm speaking striclty for myslef here , but I sure did respect and enjoy Ice Cube alot more when he hated white people. His first four-five albums are all classics and they're all filled with anti-whitey rhetoric and hate. Then he realized that he was neighbors with white people and started making movies and doing more radio friendly music and its all gone to shit. I can't even look at him anymore. Of course, I'm white so what this says about me...I'm not so sure.

6:33: All of New England's captains are guys who've been with the team for a good bit of time with the exception of Rodney Harrison...that says all I need to know about the kind of professional he is, quite a compliment from Belichcik and the other players on that team.

6:34: Horrible toss by some stupid kid from Jacksonville, one of the players even said as much yelling out "Oh, bad toss" as soon as the kid flipped it, well he didn't flip it because the coin went straight up in the air. That kids Dad is gonna be ridiculed all day at work for that and deservedly so.

6:38: KICKOFF! The Eagles kick returner is Rod Hood, is that his "stage name"?

6:40: First pass to TO, and he looked pretty nimble for a guy who shouldn't really be playing.

6:41: McNabb fumbles after a great blitz by Bruschi and a strip by McGinest...two guys who exemplify all that the Pats stand for, with regards to hard work and sacrifice.

6:42: McNabb's knee was down before the fumble and it will be overturned. Big break for the Eagles.

6:44: Apparently the Eagles punter is named Dirk, do you have to a porn star name to play special teams for the Eagles? Just wondering.

6:45: A first down pass to Deion Branch made possible by a fantastic blitz pickup by Corey Dillon. Dillon would've eaten glass before he did something like that in Cincy, shows what winning will do to a guy.

6:51: Fox shows a clip of Belichick running to the wrong bench during the pregame. Joe Buck says it may be a bad sign for the Pats. I disagree, Ron Zook ran to the wrong bench in the very same stadium during the 2003 Florida-Georgia game in which Florida beat Georgia. That's officially the only time you'll ever hear me compare Ron Zook with Bill Belichick.

6:52: Another catch by TO and he is showing few, if any, signs of the injury or the layoff. Gotta be impressed by the guy's will.

6:56: Bud light #3 and a half of a Hershey's Take 5, which is quite possibly the greatest candy bar of all time, trust me...actually, don't trust me go out and by'll be glad you did.

6:58: Jeremiah Trotter went to Stephen F. Austin? Who knew? Certainly not me.

7:01: McNabb throws a first down pass without ever snapping his chin strap...maybe its just me but that is a very bad sign. He also looks uncomfortable in the pocket, both of these are surefire harbingers of too much adrenaline. If he can't settle down, the Eagles could be in deep trouble.

7:04: A third consecutive first down, this one on 3rd &9 and coming from a McNabb pass to LJ Smith, that is big in the field position battle.

7:07: A very impressive leaping catch by TO over the middle leading to first and goal on the 8 after a personal foul on Roosevelt Colvin. Replays show a totally blatant pick on Freddie Mitchell, awful oversight by the officials.

7:08: On 1st & goal at the 8, McNabb takes a horrible sack that loses 16 yards...he's not looking very "Doug Williams-esque" right now.

7:12: Illegal contact penalty on Colvin keeps the Philly drive alive by negating an interception on a very poorly thrown ball by McNabb, this could be HUGE.

7:13: Unsatisfied with his negated interception, McNabb throws a second ball up for grabs that is intercepted by Rodney Harrison. Did Donovan have a three martini lunch with Tara Reid earlier? I hope so because thats the only reasonable explanation for those two passes.

7:17: Pats go three and out as the offense continues to look rusty. Philly may not score alot of points today, but Brady & Co. are gonna have to get it going at some point if they'd like to win, which I assume they do.

7:20: Eugene Wilson strips LJ Smith in a play reminiscent of Bruschi's strip of Dominic Rhodes. New England's defense is really good at making the defining play whether it be a turnover or just a huge stop...they have "it".

7:23: Another 3 & out by the Pats. ZZZZZ....

7:27: On 3rd & 8, Ms. Pinkston makes a very nice grab.

7:29: Little girl Pinkston makes another grab, this one of highlight reel worthiness. Philly is making all the big offensive plays right now but its still 0-0. Philly needs a touchdown off this possession.

7:32: TOUCHDOWN! LJ Smith catches a pass from McNabb on 3rd down to get the scoring started...hopefully the Pats will take this as a sign to, you know start moving the ball on offense.

7:35: The cops are across the street "talking" to the young ruffians who live in my neighborhood. Yes, you too can live a in a shady neighborhood and work far too many hours for the amount of money you make...just apply for a job in minor league baseball!!

7:36: Pepsi sure is spending alot of money this year, none of the commercails are very remarkable, other than what its probably costing to run all of them.

7:39: Typical Pats, responding to Philly's score with two straight first downs. As Bill Simmons would no doubt remind us, they're the champs for a reason.

7:41: Kevin Faulk gets a first down and then Fox shows us a picture of him, WOW! He really needs to let it go and shave his head.

7:41: Fumble!!! Oh, probably not...ok, the replay says it is definitely not a fumble...sorry for the unneccessary use of the exclamation point.

7:43: Mmmmmm, Jagermeister. Drinking shots by yourself is completely healthy and normal right? No?

7:46: A textbook cutback run by Dillon where he eludes three Philly defenders and then carries Brian Dawkins for an extra 10 yards. By the way, Dillon was a 7 to 1 pick for MVP. Not that I'd ever gamble, but I heard that this might be a good bet.

7:47: Brady fumbles on bad exchange in the red zone and Philly recovers. Quite an "un-Brady like" moment and a potentially huge momentum shift.

7:49: The Eagles' offensive line has looked very solid thus far, quite impressive in the blocking actually.

7:50: Tinsley is whining to be let outside, and so are the crab cakes that I ate earlier, uhhh. Before you make fun of me for having a dog named after Jamal Tinsley, understand two things: (1) I love point guards (2) I'm an enormous dork. Now, proceed with mocking me.

7:51: Troy Aikman reveals that they rotate in a new ball for every snap of the Super Bowl...Jesus, that alot of damn footballs. I always assummed that they used alot of balls in the Super Bowl (a new one for each possession?) but certainly not a new one for every single play...seems a bit excessive to me.

7:53: Tinsley returns from his trip outside...I must say that, like his namesake, he is much improved this year. Of course, he still licks his own ass, so its all relative.

7:53: Daniel Graham makes his first catch. Things aren't looking so good on my projection of his grabbing a TD pass. Yep, I'm not so smart.

7:56: Two minute warning: Philly: 7- New England: 0

8:00: TOUCHDOWN! Brady to David Givens as Lito Sheppard just gave up on the play and allowed a touchdown on a pass that had no business being completed in the red zone.

8:04: Eugene Wilson is hurt, looks like it might be a break of some kind. If it is a game ending injury and if Andy Reid can get Donovan sobered up at halftime they should look to throw the ball deep more often in the second. Actually, I'd have already been looking throw the ball deep twice as much as normal against this secondary...but what do I know?

8:10: Halftime. I can't take the isolation any longer and am heading to my buddy Philly Phil's house for some more drinks and some second half revelry. Just a warning , the diary may be a little less extensive in the second half.

8:27: I walk in to Phil's house and am handed a shot of Jager almost on arrival, this could get ugly...and illegible.

8:31: 3rd down completion from Brady to Branch for over 30 yards. Philly is having alot of trouble covering Branch. Since no other receiver is doing dick, maybe the Eagles should consider shading the coverage towards Branch and forcing somebody else to make a play. Nevermind, I keep forgetting that I have no idea about football in comparison to anybody who's ever been on an NFL sideline.

At this point, I stopped writing down times because I didn't want to look like the biggest loser at the party. Of course, I know that I am but like to maintain my dignity around perfect know, for the sport of it. Here are my randon thoughts that I jotted down during the final 2 quarters:

-Dexter Reid is called for a block in the back, which begs the question: Has there ever, ever been a white kid named Dexter? I'm leaning heavily in the direction on "no".

-Jim Johnson looks alot like a child molester. What does a child molester look like you ask? Well...Jim Johnson.

-Heck of a catch by Mike Vrabel for a touchdown. A special thanks to Charlie Weis and Mike Vrabel for freezing out Daniel Graham in the red zone. Speaking of Vrabel, do you think that Andy Katzemoyer has Vrabel on his "assasination list"? neither...I'm sure Andy is very content with his life outside of football.

-Teddy Bruschi gets a pick on a real nice grab. At least one of my picks is working out for me. I'm currently on pace to only lose about $150 tonight.

- Early in the 4th McNabb is 22-37, thats too many passes for the Eagles. I know they like to throw the ball but you have to achive some kind of balance if you're gonna beat the Pats.

- The Eagles seem overly relaxed for a team down two scores. This is a horrible display of clock management. I bet Herm Edwards fires Paul Hacket over this.

-Touchdown: Greg Lewis, I have heard that he was nearly cut earlier this year because his attitude is such a cancer. You have to be an astoundingly awful guy for the Eagles to even consider cutting you from their wide receiver corps if you have any ability whatsoever.

-Fox shows a comparision between Belichick and Lombardi with stats and mugshots. One problem here: Lombardi's picture is in black & white...yeah, we get it...he coached a long time ago. Ted Turner can colorize "Gone with the Wind" but Fox has to use black & white photos of Vince Lombardi? Give me a break already.

-I'm betting Rush Limbaugh has a huge smile on his face right now...whether that is a result of the Oxycontin's he's been popping all game or McNabb's horrible play is anybody's guess.

-David Akers could be a big factor late, that is if Philly hadn't wasted a good two to three minutes huddling up after EVERY DAMN PLAY...awful display by an offensive oriented head coach.

-After a second pick, I think that Rodney Harrison is the MVP (of course, like everything else tonight, I'm wrong because they give the award to Deion Branch, not bad...could've gone eitehr way I guess).

-Comic Book Guy's real name: Jeff Albertson...I did not know that!

That's it. I'm bushed and could probably use a glass of water but since I can't find one, I'll have another Jager shot...they're basically the same anything anyway right? Right?

The Philly fans I watched the second half with didn't seem all that upset. Its almost like the horrible display of clock management allowed them all to cozy up to the idea of losing. Maybe that's why Andy Reid did that...its the only semi-rational reason I can think of. Anywho, a very good but not great Super Bowl. Better than most but not on par with some of the recent classics. I gotta go to bed because tommorrow marks the first of over 50 straight days of work for me and my colleagues. Major League Baseball Spring Training...its mind numbingly awful!!!

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