Sunday, December 25, 2005

Still stupid, not yet drunk...

I just finished getting in a nice little run this afternoon and figured I'd stop by to wish everybody Merry Christmas.

It's been a good one thus far for me and my family, despite our current locale. After church last night, we retired to my sister's house to eat a little dinner and carry on some of our ridiculous Xmas traditions. The most disgusting/annoying is, of course, the eating of cold pork and beans. You're probably a little confused right now, as you should be, so allow me to explain. My grandpa started this tradition many, many years ago when my Dad was a child. Basically, every member of the family must eat at least a spoonful of cold pork and beans on Xmas Eve in order to ensure good luck for the coming year. It's an odd tradition, and quite frankly, I hate it. Not because I hate family bonding or anything like that, but because I abhor beans (all kinds of beans) with every fiber of my being. With that said, who am I to rock the boat when it comes to a longstanding and venerable family tradtion like this? Nobody, absolutely nobody. I just choke down my spoonful of hell, slam a beer and go about my business of tying one on before 6:30 am comes and my nieces and nephews roust me out of bed with screams and giggles and all the other cute (read: extremely annoying) things that kids do on Xmas morning. The only problem with that plan this year, is that after I finished watching the Sheraton Hawai'i Bowl last night (which was a very entertaining OT game with an admittedly anticlimatic and disappointing ending) was that I couldn't go to sleep, no matter what I tried (short of slamming tequila shots).

After hours of tossing, turning and serious comtemplation of smothering my snoring brother-in-law, I ended up falling asleep around 4 am and, wouldn't you know it, was then up and doing Xmas activities by 6:30. I shouldn't complain though, it's been a great Xmas with my family so far. I skipped out on golfing with my Dad and brothers-in-law in order to take a nap, which was exaclty what I needed. I managed to catch up on a good chunk of the sleep that I lost last night and should be in good shape for the rest of the day. In fact, as I look at the clock it's looking alot like beer thirty and as I look at the television, Rasheed Wallace is looking like the perfect Xmas afternoon companion. So with that I'm going to sign off, but not before extending some Xmas wishes to friends of mine who I won't get to see or (more than likely) talk to this Xmas. Here goes:

John and Joe: Try and stay warm out in Montana and try and keep yourself from playing for the other team during the bitter winter months.

Calvin: I hope you enjoy the cesspool that is Ohio, seriously. I hate Ohio, but I don't think you're half bad, even if you're crazy and irrational and given to fits of laughter inducing rage.

Coffey: Enjoy the Bay Area, it's one of the nicest places on earth. Don't enjoy it too much though. I'm counting on you to get a job in the SEC so that I can see some free football every fall.

Pasqual: Stay safe out in the middle east, we're all thinking of you and want you back home soon (and for good) so keep that thing wrapped when you port in Cyprus.

Breven: I'll get to Austin this year, I promise...well I'll at least get there before you get engaged (laughing).

Wheelhouse Guys (writes and posters): I barely know most of you, but I still wanted to wish you a Merry Xmas and say thanks for making my workdays far more bearable than it could ever be without your quips and punditry.

Erika: I miss you and will see you tommorrow. I hope you enjoy your Xmas as much I'm enjoying mine. As much as I'm enjoying myself, it's just not the same without you here with me. In fact, let's make this the last Xmas that we ever spend apart.

I love you all. Merry Christmas.


Greg said...

You are so gay.

Greg said...

How about Flantzer's good friend:

Knowshon Moreno?

Mark said...


Did you miss me while I was in Tallahassee? I mean, you ARE on the internet at 12:30 AM. I'm pretty sure that makes you the gay one.

Greg said...


TJ said...

Settle down Ace and gary.

TJ said...

Hi Mark!