Tuesday, December 06, 2005

I'd rather have a fucking fruitcake

I'm pretty busy today so I'm not going to do much other mention a couple of things that I forgot to mention during yesterday's post. I would talk about last night's game but what can I really add about a game that was 35-0 before halftime? At least Eagle fans still get to live in a fun, vibrant city...oh yeah, nevermind.

- While we're on the subject of ass whippings, I might as well tackle the Orlando Magic. Ever since I mentioned them last week they've completely gone in the tank, losing 4 of their last 5 games by 20 points or more. Culminating in last night's second half pillaging at the hands of Tim Duncan and the Spurs. The Magic kept it close until halftime (tied actually) but couldn't manage to keep the game interesting in the third as the Spurs opened up a double digit lead during the period's early stages. Honestly, that's to be expected when you're facing the defending champs and your franchise player is harrassed into a 4-18 shooting night. The one positive to take from this is that even with his abysmal shooting, Dwight Howard still managed to post his 13th double-double with 13 points and 15 caroms.

- As for the rest of the losing streak, the Magic have had some tough opponents during that stretch and they are playing without the services of Steve Francis and Keyon Dooling (in addition to being without Grant Hill) but too many losses bunched together this early in the season could really kill any momentum that the team has built up to this point. In an effort to do my part (because I'm an all around super dude) to change the current karma, I'm going to refrain from commenting on the Magic in this space, at least until Hill and Francis make it back on the court together. I'm sure nobody reading this cares in any way about this, well, maybe Greg.

I'd like to quickly call out Peter King for sarcastically opining on the "impact" of Cadillac Williams a few weeks back. I believe the exact quote was, "Remember when Cadillac Williams was an impact player?" Well, now that he's finally healthy again, Carnell's averaging 4.85 yards a carry in the last three games for a team that is one 29 yard missed FG away from being undefeated in those same three games. He also happens to be doing this for a team that consistently faces eight and nine man fronts because of the inexperience of their QB and the ineptitude of it's offensive line. Think you might have jumpred the gun a bit, Mr. King?

- Finally, I'd like to send out an extra special yuletide "Fuck you" to the higher ups in my company for the Christmas gift that they presented a bunch of us with late last week. After a year's worth of hard work and long hours for this multi-million dollar company, we were all rewarded with...a $10 gift card for Barnes & Noble.

Now, I like reading as much as the next guy. Hell, probably more than the next guy since most Americans would rather eat a raw egg than read a book. However, what, pray tell, kind of book am I going to purchase with ten fucking dollars? Thanks for breaking the bank on us guys. At least I can finally get my hands on that new Archie & Jughead comic. Maybe I'll have enough left over for some Tic-Tacs at the register.

6 comments:

TJ said...

Veronica's a hottie.

Mark said...

That she is TJ, that she is.

Unfortunately, I originally thought that you were referring to the Road Rules' Veronica, that is until I realized that you made the comment and not Burr.

TJ said...

Well, that Veronica is a Grade A nutcase and great television viewing (not much of a contribution, but I was returning the favor for the pop-in on Gheorghe).

Mark said...

I appreciate that TJ. It always makes me feel a little less pathetic when I see some comments (or comment) on the bottom.

I'm going to miss Veronica during the Gauntlet II, though I'm sure that somebody will step up to the plate and fill the void.

TJ said...

Now this is where Burr's expertise comes in handy, because even though I enjoy those shows a great deal, I'm betting he could rattle off the Top 5 replacements for that crazy bitch.

Mark said...

Somebody with a ton of time on their hands should build a fantasy league for those shows. You could get points when your player wins a challenge, or bangs another cast member, or throws somebody's shit in the pool. It's not like I need any encouragement to watch these shows but that would certainly spice up the viewing.