Monday, October 31, 2005

It's Halloween...time to light bags of poop on fire and leave them on your neighbor's doorstep.

I’ve got neither the time nor the patience to write much of anything today. I am still recovering from the weekend’s events which, among other things, seems to have resulted in me losing my cell phone. What a nightmare this is turning out to be. My home phone is still not up and working due to the effects of Hurricane Wilma, so I am basically unreachable unless I’m at work. Well, that’s not completely true since I’ve borrowed my Mom’s cell phone for the time being. Of course, nobody knows the number to her cell phone and every number that is even remotely important to me is stored in my missing phone. This is fantastic, just beautiful. Oh well, at least the Gators pulled out a victory against Georgia. As one of my friends said after Florida went up 14-0 on Saturday, “Ruining Georgia’s season never gets old”. No, no it doesn’t.

I did get home in time to watch quite a bit of NFL Football yesterday. Let me just say this…you might want to consider thanking the good lord for DirectTV NFL Ticket next time you stumble out of the bar on Sunday morning (I’m betting that’s a lot more likely than anyone who reads this drivel attending any sort of religious ceremonies in the near future.) If it weren’t for the aformentioned NFL Ticket then I would’ve been stuck watching these three classics: Giants-Redskins, Jag-Rams, and 49ers-Bucs. The Jags-Rams game actually ended up being a pretty good contest but, personally, I’d rather drink a large bottle of Texas Pete’s Hot Sauce than sit through an entire Jaguars game. That’s just me though. As for the rest of the games, we were flipping back and forth throughout the day so all I’ve got are a collection of random thoughts concerning the week that was:

- I know that Wellington Mara was one of the greatest owners in pro sports and that he was as good an ambassador for the league as anybody could ask for, but I have to say that I found all the signs in the Meadowlands yesterday to be quite transparent. In all seriousness, what percentage of these fans could’ve named the owner of the Giants if questioned on the subject a month ago? Ten, fifteen percent…maybe? How about if they had been asked to pick him out of a lineup of elderly gentleman? That’s all I’m saying. With that said, I did find it very telling how jacked up the Giants came out to play yesterday. It seemed as if every guy on the roster was playing with a little extra motivation and swagger out there. Other than, maybe, Dan Rooney can you think of a single NFL owner whose death would evoke that kind of reaction from his players?

- Philly looks awful. Not Baltimore Ravens awful, but still very, very bad for a team that has been the other dominant franchise in the NFL for the last five years. Everything seems to be catching up to them at once: injuries, chemistry, lack of a running game, etc. They had one possession that lasted 12 seconds yesterday. 12 seconds! That’s absolutely amazing. It’s really too bad because they have a good to great defense that is already wearing down because they’ve spent sooo much time on the field this year. I could see this team losing something like 4 of their last 5 games and missing the playoffs.

- I’m almost (almost) glad that the Bucs lost yesterday. As the game was winding down I just kept thinking to myself. If we somehow win, is their a worse 6-1 team in the history of the NFL? I haven’t done the research but I’d venture a guess on “No” as the answer.

- Not that this is any sort of breaking news, but Chris Simms is awful, just awful. Even his one TD pass was nothing more than a 6 yard curl route that Galloway turned into a big play. Count me among those who don’t think that Simms will ever have the brains and/or intestinal fortitude to be a quality starting QB in the NFL. If his last name wasn’t Simms and he looked like Major Applewhite he’d be announcing high school football in Northern New Jersey by now.

- After years of NFL scouts basically giving hummers to every receiver over 6’2” it’s nice to see that some smaller speed receivers are finally establishing themselves as legitimate #1 receivers again. Guys like Galloway, Santana Moss, Steve Smith and Terry Glenn are all proving that there is much more to being a dominant receiver in this league than the ability to dunk a basketball. You know, things like route running, speed, good hands, and an ability to create yards after the catch.

- Who out there wasn’t wondering when the Annual Brett Favre Four Interception was coming? Of course we were all wrong since Brett decided to up the ante this year.

- That Kansas City defense sure has improved by leaps and bounds this year, huh?

- Has there ever been a situation that saw a group of fantasy owners rejoice when their All-Pro QB went down for the season like the one we’re currently witnessing with Daunte Culpepper? Seriously, him tearing up his knee is the best thing that could’ve possibly happened to anybody who had him on their fantasy team.

- Ricky Williams looked pretty good yesterday. Not only running with purpose but also flashing some breakaway speed for the first time since his return. With the way that Ronnie Brown has continued to improve (and impress) the Dolphins could be the third team this year (along with the Broncos and Chiefs) to have a legitimately dangerous running back platoon system.

- As for the Broncos, if Tatum Bell can get a little tougher running between the tackles he could end up being the best Bronco running back since Terrell Davis. He might not ever be the runner (in terms of vision and cutback ability) that Portis was/is but his breakaway speed gives him a dimension that not many backs in the NFL can compete with.

- An actual excerpt from Paul Maguire last night during a replay of Corey Dillon juking Lawyer Milloy, “Watch his feet. Watch his feet. Watch his feet. Oh, uh, whoop, uhhh…aw sheez.” Top flight analysis is exactly why they pay him the big bucks folks.


Greg said...

Why was Simeon Rice sent home? I know it's more than just "missing a team meeting". I'm pretty sure that they caught him throwing fireworks at a stripper duct-taped to his hotel room sink and had to "make an example" of him.

Mark said...


CFunk28 said...

Even though you didn't mention it, has there ever been anyone that has talked more shit and backed it up the way Steve Spurrier does? Awesome dude.

And the imploding of the Vikings and evolving implosion of the Eagles are my two favorite storylines of the NFL season. As a Browns fan I have to take joy out of other's misery.

Mark said...

Spurrier's comment about not being nervous bringing USC in Knoxville because he'd won there with Duke was classic. Gotta love the guy.

It all almost makes me wish that we still worked in that hell hole.

I lost my phone and need JVV and McGrail's #'s so that I can get them in on the NBA Fantasy League. Help me out on this one Funk>

CFunk28 said...

Did you hear that Trey got canned? I talked to him Saturday night and he wasn't too broken up obviously. He said he gets his full salary as severance until February. That's a pretty sweet deal.

Mark said...

WOW!!! I can't believe that. That just proves that Buck and Babs weren't going to stop until they made the entire organization theirs. What a bunch of idiots. I should've stayed on though, getting paid for doing nothing until Feb. sounds effin' sweet.

Mark said...


Is John's # really 321-795-8435? That din't seem right to me but I gave it a call and the guy who answered said that he wasn't John.

CFunk28 said...

I thought that said J & W, as in Jeff Weinhold (which I found a little odd). That was Weinhold's #. Van Vleets is 406-270-7129

Mark said...


Give me John and Joe's email addresses so that I can send them a link for the Fantasy Draft.

Mark said...

Hahahaha! I thought that phone # looked familiar. I called it and it must've been Jeff that answered. Of course, I avoided awkward, gay conversation by quickly apologizing and hanging up... as I could tell that he thought he recognized me when he said, "John...uh, no." I cut him off right there and hung up. Whew! That was close.

CFunk28 said...

I'm not a big fan of being your rolodex. But I'm a bitch so here you go...