Enough to give you nightmares...

Last night I was watching the Magic game against Seattle on my couch while quickly drifting towards unconsciousness when , suddenly, I found myself on the edge of my seat and far more awake than I had been just minutes earlier. The source of this energy was none other than Keyon Dooling. It’s not that I was excited that Keyon was back in action for the first time in 21 games (and for only the sixth game all year). Rather, it was that he and Ray Allen were involved in a full fledged wrestling match in the courtside seats of Key Arena. Because the game was being shown on Sunshine, the viewers were unable to see exactly what led up the fight, though we did find out that Dooling must have started it all since he was charged with a flagrant as well as a technical for fighting. What we did see was these two guys rolling around as petrified Seattle-ites flailed about and spilled beer all over them.

As NBA fights go it was pretty standard, but considering the whooping that Duke put on Maryland and the lackluster effort put forth by the rest of the Magic, it was undoubtedly the highlight of my night. Well, I guess it was part of the highlight, as just a few minutes later the cameras of Sunshine found Dooling going after Allen in the tunnel to the locker room. It took at least three Magic staff members to pull Dooling away and convince him to just call it a night already. So to sum up, Keyon Dooling celebrated his return to the lineup last night by instigating a second quarter fight with Ray Allen that got him ejected and will surely result in a two or three game suspension. Nice seeing you Keyon. I’m already looking forward to your return to action in a week or two. By the way, Dooling is making over $3 million this year.

As for the rest of the game, the Magic continued their uninspired road play as they dropped their second consecutive game by the score of 113-104.

Some other notes from last night’s loss:

- I know its been said before, I actually think that I may have said it here before. However, it warrants mentioning how much that Robert Swift looks like Freddy Krueger. It’s uncanny actually.















- You’d be hard pressed to find an NBA game that included two starters as ugly as Robert Swift and Hedo Turkoglu. Those guys are both first team All-Ugly, no doubt about it. In case you were wondering the remaining three guys on that team are: Sam Cassell (Captain), Calbert Cheaney, & Peter John Ramos. Of course, these selections are just off the top of my head so feel free to give me your two cents in the comments section.

- At one point last night, Magic announcer David Steele uttered the words “through the hands of Tony Battie”. Which got me thinking, “How many times has that phrase been uttered about Battie during the career of the former #4 pick ?" So I did a little number crunching and came out with something around 475 times. I’d say that statistic pretty well sums up the career of them man once tagged “El Busto” by his Dan Issel.

I’ve already mentioned the Duke-Maryland game in this space which, considering how much of a blowout it was, is probably more time than should’ve been devoted to it in the first place. However, I did watch a good deal of the game (what else was I gonna do, read?) and also managed to jot down a few notes of interest in between screaming at Dick Vitale and laughing at the always humorous Gary Williams.

- At one point during Mike Patrick and Dick Vitale’s two man junk slurping exercise on JJ Reddick, Patrick mentioned that he considered it “laughable” that people still had questions about Reddick’s ability to play in the NBA. As if that wasn’t bad enough, Patrick then said that “these are the same people who said that Mark Price wasn’t going to make it.” Are you kidding me? What’s laughable is that you can’t see the difference between the NBA and College games or that you think that Mark Price and JJ Reddick are an apt comparison. Let’s see here: One was a point guard with an underrated handle and a fantastic array of shots in his arsenal, while the other is an undersized two guard with below average athletic abilty. I can see how you could get the two of them confused. I agree that Reddick is a tremendous collegiate player and that he’s far more versatile than he originally was or even than he gets credit for, but can we please stop acting like this kid is the second coming. I’ve got a better comparison for you Mr. Patrick…Casey Jacobsen. His ability to shoot the ball sure turned the NBA on it’s ear didn’t it?

- As much as I hate to agree with Vitale, I have to say that he’s dead on when he says that Coach K is the perfect man to head up the next US Men’s Olympic Basketball team. Not only is coach K almost universally respected by both collegiate and professional players, but he is also far more flexible and willing to change his own personal style than either of his predecessors (George Karl & Larry Brown). Coach K has already hired Mike D’Antoni as an assistant on his Olympic staff, ensuring that this team will be far better prepared for the international style of play than any of the previous incarnations of this team. Furthermore, Coach K has repeatedly shown an ability to adjust his system(s) to his player and/or teams’ strengths. A perfect example of this is the 2001 National Title team he coached at Duke. Many people remember this team for winning the title while conveniently forgetting that many pundits left them for dead when Carlos Boozer (the teams only offensive presence inside) went down with a broken foot. Instead, Coack K used Boozer’s injury as a means to reinvent his team. He inserted freshman Chris Duhon into the lineup and made Duke into a team that pushed the tempo and shot a ton of three pointers with Duhon, Jason Williams, Mike Dunleavy, and Shane Battier all roaming around the perimeter. Duke quickly took to this style of play and ended up beating an extremely big and talented Arizona team for the National Title.

One last thing: I’d be shocked if Reddick doesn’t somehow end up playing for Coach K in the Beijing Olympics. Honestly, can you blame him? There aren’t five better pure shooters playing in the NBA today.

- Who was more pissed last night when they saw Brian Davis and Christian Laettner sitting together behind the Duke bench last night? Christian’s wife or Brian’s boyfriend?

- Finally, there was some tough news on the recruiting front for Florida Gator fans yesterday. JUCO All-American Linebacker Larry Grant’s early admission to the University of Florida was denied due to his failure to pass a junior college math class. Grant maintains that he will take the test again and enroll by in the summer but this will certainly slow the on-field progress of a player who was expected to make an immediate impact at Florida. Even more worrisome is that this entire situation is beginning to look eerily similar to something the Gators encountered during the recruitment of former Oklahoma linebacker Lance Mitchell. Mitchell, like Grant, was a JUCO All-American at City College of San Francisco who had chosen to enroll early at the University of Florida. Similarly, Mitchell had trouble passing a math class. Mind you, this class is not required by the NCAA or the SEC but is a requirement for admission to UF. After a couple of failed tries, Mitchell finally decided to take his talents to the University of Oklahoma where he immediately became the starting middle linebacker. Meanwhile, the Gators were stuck with the likes of Reid Fleming and Matt Farrior in the middle. Is it any wonder why I hate math so much?