I'm going to keep it short this morning and I don't care what you say about me (Greg). I severely jammed my the knuckle on my left index finger last night during my return to competitive basketball. Yep, that's right, in my first game back from a major calf muscle tear I managed to jam my knuckle bad enough that it's currently sitting somewhere in the middle of my hand. It's not anything that I haven't done a couple thousand times throughout my life but it still hurts like hell to type with my finger like this. If I was tough, I'd gut this one out for the team and soldier on with this post. However, as we all know, I'm not tough and I sure as hell don't care about "the team". It's all for the best any way because any post that I would've written today would've looked something like this:
Jesus the Cardinals suck. How the hell are we managing to continually find new and more pathetic ways to blow this once seemingly insurmountable lead? Oh, I forgot, because Albert Pujols can't play nine postitions at once. Maybe we can bring Joaquin Andujar, he was always good in the clutch and he can't be much worse than Jeff Suppan, can he?
I was going to ignore this subject in hopes of St. Louis turning this thing around on their own but now I've got to mention it in (futile) hopes of stemming the tide for the Redbirds. Sadly, I'm thinking its a case of too little, (far) too late. By the way, have I ever mentioned before how much I hate the Astros? I have? Oh, because I really hate the fucking Astros.
Okay. I've got to stop before I end up opening that package that Terrence Kiel sent me. That's for a special occasion (read: The birth of my third illegitimate child, Da'Quan)
Or maybe it would look a little more like this:
Wow. Alabama, huh? I really hate those goddamned inbreds. Sure not as much as the hillbillies in Knoxville but it's a strong hate. It stings the nostrils. Last year's 31-3 ass raping was one of the more embarrassing Gator games I've ever experienced. I would say it was the worst since the 1999 SEC Championship game. Who was that game against again? Oh yeah, Al-a-BAMA!!! I'm really hoping for a Spurrier-esque revenge game here. Those were always nice. Of course, the last time the Tide walked into the Swamp they walked out with a victory and Shaun Alexander was approximately $5 million richer (Does he send Keith Kelsey a Christmas card every year? Because he should). I'm just going to stop thinking about this game tomorrow before all the anxiety of it combined with the thought of the Cardinals' inevitable collapse makes me throw up...too late. Wow, I don't even remember eating corn last night.
Alright, that's it. My finger's throbbing and I've already thrown up once. That doesn't usually happen until at least 8 pm on a Friday. I'm gonna go lay down.
Florida will be wearing throwback uniforms tomorrow against the Tide. I'm hoping this is just a promotional photo.