Tuesday, September 05, 2006

Dude, he can fly?

Apparently all the praise being heaped upon Tim Tebow over the past eight months was warranted. Because, well, the dude can fly.

In all seriousness, Tebow looked exactly like the nervous freshman that he is during most of his brief appearance on Saturday night. That is, until he stiff armed the shit out of an unsuspecting Southern Miss. linebacker on his way to the endzone pictured above. I've never seen a gorilla play QB before, but that's always how I'd imagined it would look. At this point I'm hoping that Timmy throws his poop at George O'Leary after he scores a TD against UCF on Saturday night because that would be, well, funny.

I'm pretty sure that I'm not the only Gator fan who is daydreaming of Tebow running the spread option with Percy Harvin at UF for the next couple of years (b/c there is NO WAY that Harvin is going to be in Gainesville for the full four years). If the chants of "Let's go Tebow" (dum, dum, dumdumdum!) that were heard throughout the Swamp on Saturday night are any indication, it appears as if the Gator Nation has itself a new sweetheart. A huge, beast of a sweetheart, sure, but a sweetheart nonetheless.

With apologies to Mr. Tebow, the unquestioned highlight of Saturday evening for Gator fans (or fans of mind blowing open field running) was the debut of another similarly touted freshman, Harvin, who managed to wow the home crowd with the kind of creativity with the ball in his hands that the Swamp hadn't seen since Peter Warrick was reversing field all over our asses while en route to a National Championship and one hell of a Dillard's discount.

I'll be back with more game commentary tomorrow as well as some highlights from a glorious weekend of football, booze, beach and, um football. For now there's work to be done though. Of course, by "work" I mean scouring Gator message boards and designing plays that will be anonymously (and drunkenly) faxed to the Florida Football offices at approximately 3:30 am one evening.


D.M., M.D. said...

I bet you're jealous that you're not driving to Montana Friday so that you and McGrail could simultaneously attempt to drink 40 beers apiece on Saturday. We're setting up two TVs so that we can watch tons of football and so that we won't miss any action of either the UGA-USC or Texas-Ohio St. games.

The plan is this: Wake up at 8 a.m. and drink 3 beers per hour until 8 p.m. Large quantities of food will be included, and necessary, but I think that reaching 36 beers by 8 p.m. is easily doable. I'm pretty sure I've done that before. At that point, the late Pac-10 game will probably be on, so we'll only need to choke down 4 more beers by the time we pass out in order to do it.

Forty is our goal, 50 might be within reach, depending on how much food we eat and whether or not Notre Dame and South Carolina win.

I'm pretty sure Joe will be able to do this, but I'm not so certain about myself. I did down half a flask of absynthe at the Miss. St. game, but how else was I going to try and block the images of that dump from my mind?

Also, I'm 7'2" and black, I forgot that. Maybe I'll be able to do this after all.

Anyway, I'm sure you'll get a review after the weekend. We've both vowed to turn off our phones on Saturday, for fear that we'd do the drunk dialing session to end all drunk dialing sessions.

Mark said...

You're quite the weekend warrior these days Deke. I figured you'd want a rest after last weekend and, you know, all the life saving you do during the week. My official prediciton is 38 for Joe and 29 for you because, well, you're a gay. I'd lvoe to be proven wrong though. If only to see what it feels like.

CFunk28 said...

This is quite an endeavor even for a man like Deke. I've seen McGrail casually throw back 35 (USC-UGA/UM-ND 2004) so I think if he puts his mind to it he can get 40 easy. As for you Deke. If USC plays like garbage against UGA you'll be black out drunk at 30. Sorry, no faith.

Mark said...

Calvin's right. You'll need a herculean effort by USC to make this happen. However, USC can't simply blow out UGA. The excitment and euphoria of it would get you going to early and sap your stamina. Ideally, you'd want a tight game where USC pulls away late in the fourth. It keeps you involved enough to maintain a steady pace and the adrenaline fromt he win would push you over the line.

With that said, I don't think you've got a prayer...fag.

D.M., M.D. said...

I hate all of you.

Mark said...

But you love Joe, don't you?

D.M., M.D. said...

If by "love" you mean "can't wait to anally rape" then yes, I "love" Joe.

joe said...

I appreciate all the support here. I realize you say you don't think I will do it Hughes but from a guy like you 38 is a win to me. We all know you're too ornery and cynical to say that it can be done.

I also think it's also an indictment on me that I'm so proud of myself that people think I can drink 40 beers.

D.M., M.D. said...

I found an online BAC calculator on some web site, and it says that if I drink 40 beers over 16 hours, my BAC would be .60, which would basically mean death. But, for Joe, his would only be .38, which is still horribly unhealthy, but manageable. Oddly enough, if I stop at 30 over 16 hours, my BAC would be .38.

All of this is just to say that I'll try to get 40 beers, even if it puts me into an alochol induced coma, but even I admit I'll probably top out at 25 like the pussy I am.

Mark said...

If anybody can do it, its you Dupe (or maybe Wes Welker). I am very skeptical. But that's just b/c I'm an asshole and I hate you.

it is a noble challenge indeed. Good luck to both of you.

Fuck Notre Dame.

CFunk28 said...

Fuck Notre Dame. I like that.

I love college football to the point that I turned down free Eddie Money tickets for Saturday night. Now grant I saw that heroin addict in concert about 8 years ago. But like I told my buddy, I can't miss the Buckeyes and Horns. You've got to have priorities in life.

Mark said...

That's tough one but you made the right call. I'm not even a fan of either team but you can't miss that game, especially with UGA-USC(e)on at the same time.

Greg said...

Yo Deke, where were you when your boy, Bison Dele needed you?

Now he's dead. DEAD!!!!