Tuesday, May 09, 2006

Fire (errererrr)!!!

Not much to discuss today other than the enormous fucking fires that seem to be engulfing the entire East Coast of Florida at the moment. The latest estimate that I've heard is that at least 2,500 acres are currently ablaze here in the Sunshine State, which doesn't even begin to take into account the many thousands of acres that have already been burned in the past week or so.

It's gotten so bad that as I was driving to work this morning, the smoke hanging in the air made it impossible to see the river that was less than a hundred feet away from me. By the time I got to work, my clothes smelled as if I'd been drinking all night at a strip club. You think I'm joking here.

The last time I can remember the brushfires being this bad was 1998 when the state government banned all July 4th celebrations for fear of the entire state going up in flames. Which, considering the average IQ around these parts, was probably a wise move on the part of state legislators. Thankfully, there has been some good that's come from all this. As I drove to the gym this afternoon the local radio station was playing a number of "fire themed" songs. It's a surprisingly large category for music. Anyway, this semi-tacky gimmick allowed me to hear on of my all-time faves, The Cult's Fire Woman. Sweet.

Commercial commentary:

I like the NBA's playoff commercials. The ritual themed one is a cool look at some of the idiosyncratic pregame activities of many of the NBA's best and brightest. I also really like the "right to keep playing" commercials where the annoucner lists the many sacricifices that have been made by playoffs teams. This series of commercials has two in particular that tickle me.

#1-Nets: Pretty standard until the shot of Jeff McInnis (or should we say the former Jeff McInnis, since he's apparently ballooned to the size of Pork Chop Womack during his rehabilitation) with his hair in a full blowout getting his ribs wrapped by a trainer. I'm not quite sure why, but the thought of Jeff McInnis and Lawrence Frank interacting on a daily basis brings a smile to my face.

#2- Pistons: Nothing abnormal in the stats or pictures in this commercial until the voice over announces that "1800 pounds were lost" during the season. Ummm, excuse me? Did the Pistons have Oliver Miller and John "Hot Plate" Williams on the roster during training camp? Does Richard Hamilton blow up like Ty Law during the offseason? I've got to be missing something here. How in god's name did the Pistons collectively lose 1800 lbs. during the regualr season? I need answers, and a hose. You know, just in case the fires keep coming.

12 comments:

Greg said...

I remember two things from the fires in the summer of 1998: the smell/haze in the late afternoon and Michelob AmberBock 12 packs were on sale at Publix for $5.99.

Mark said...

$5.99? Really? In that case, burn baby burn. The smell/haze was awful, that I do remember. I also remember using the weather/smoke as a reason to stay inside, elect the pope and watch World Cup matches all day long. Jesus I miss college nad/or being college age.

Greg said...

Man that was awesome. Mostly in part to the bounce-backability of the hangover coupled with the relative lack of "responsibility".

Schmitt and I would have epic conversations during the fires. Here's an example:

Schmitt: Man, there's a lot of smoke.

Me: yeah.

Schmitt: It's gotta suck having your house burned down.

Me: yeah.

Mark said...

You said it. I don't think I ever truly appreciated the ability to shake off a significant level hangover within hours of awakening.

The ability/window of irresponsibility to sit on the couch watching cartoons while nursing said hangover probably had alot more to do with that than I've ever given it credit for. Nevertheless, I really, really wish I still had the kind of bounce-backability (who are you, Clark Kellog?)that allowed me to drink for hours on end only to play basketball for many more hours the following afternoon with little to no ill effects.

Mark said...

There is one positive to these fires. Further affirmation that you should never, ever, ever choose to live near I-95, whether it be in Viera, Palm Bay or otherwise. Or as I like to refer to it, Reason #2,347 to live on the beachside.

Greg said...

I used to get hammered and be up all hours of the night and then get up and play in a rugby tournament on a hot day in August. If I tried to do that now, I think I'd die.

CFunk28 said...

Not to get off the fire subject, but the NBA obviously uses the Curves standard for losing weight. They only count pounds lost. Put on all you want, that doesn't matter.

Greg said...

What's the "Curves" standard?

Also, the Clips-Suns game was highly entertaining. It might be the best series right now. High pace lots of action.

Mark said...

Clips-Suns has been relatively exciting thus far. Bunches of offensively skilled players, two teams who run (and do so effectively, and some very intriguing one-on-one matchups. Brand-Marion, Casell/Livingston-Nash, Diaw/Thomas-Kaman, etc.
I'm hoping for some tighter games as the series progresses. Too bad the series is going to kill my sleep pattern. The "curves standard" is in reference to how they chart weight loss. Each lb. lost ocunts toward your total, regardless of whether you put it back on or not. For example, you could lose 5 one week and gain six the next week but your progress chart would still say "5 lbs. lost". We know hti sb/c we had a gigantic women who "worked out" at Curves when we were with the 'tees.

TJ said...

DC Update?

Mark said...

I'm in Melbourne all week, so thats gonna be tough.

TJ said...

That's allright, this place is hurting...