That is probably the only way I can describe the feeling I had this morning when I realized that today would be my last day of work until 2005. Nothing will motivate somebody to put a stamp on the day as much as knowing that you won't be back in the office for another 3 weeks. I thought that I was psyched when I advanced to the finals of my fantasy league playoffs yesterday, but my love for Drew Bennett and Larry Johnson (two inspired late season pickups who have fueled my fantasy run) soon dissipated at the thought of drinking every night and sleeping until 1. I know alot of people say that you would be completely bored without a job...but I'd like to test out this theory, purely for research purposes of course.
Before I get on with my random thoughts from this weekend I thought I would lend a little Xmas shopping help to all the last minute buyers out there, www.cafepress.com/wizzstore.3800162 , you can thank me later...Jagermeister is a good way to start.
There's not a whole lot in this world that enrages me more that having to sit through a full Sportscenter that prominently involves Stuart Scott. There's a very good chance I will go on a five state northeastern killing spree the next time I hear him say "Ginormous". For my money, the seventh level of hell has got to be Scott, Stephen A. Smith and Greg Anthony all sitting at a table talking basketball.
Donovan Darius' shot on Robert Ferguson was as big a cheap shot as I have witnessed in quite a while. In a violent game like football, players are going to get hurt, but to intentionally try and take somebody out like that is bush. Whats even worse is how Darius defended his hit by saying it a "technique"...well, you're right in the damned WWE, they call it a clothesline. On a related note, I'm sure that nobody doubts how tough the players in the early years of the NFL were but when you realize that a play like Darius' hit was completely legal back then, it gives you a new level of respect for ALL of those guys.
Apparently Terrell Owens is out at least five weeks with a fractured tibula...I guess the fans in Philly are busy preparing their annual round of excuses for blowing home field advantage in the playoffs, it really shouldn't take too long when you consider all the practive they've had. Does anybody else think we should pool our money and get a gift for Roy Williams as a token of our gratitude for killing any chance of us having to see Andy Reid in tights? Maybe we could buy him a ticket to Chicago to check out Kendall Gill's "Boys Club"?
The beer I was drinking nearly shot out of my nose last night when I saw Peyton Manning getting visibly upset at Mike Vanderjagt for missing that field goal. It reminded me of the time that Corky got into a fight at school on "Life Goes On". Peyton, you are alot of things...intimidating is not one of them.
Pretty classy move by Manning to take a knee last night late in the 4th. I bet Bill Simmons thinks that Tom Brady would've done a much better job with managing the clock in between the two consecutive kneel downs.
I may be wrong here but I fail to see how Vince Carter will make the Nets much better. He isn't half the player he once was and his refusal to take the ball to the rim makes him nothing more than a decent swingman with an average jumper and a huge attitude problem...just the kind of guy I'd like to trade two future first round picks for. I just want an NBA team to run for ONE season, just one and then I'll stop complaining. I will grant you that they won't be agonizing to watch anymore (just painful) but they now have the worst frontline in the East (QUITE an accomplishment) and are home to not one, but two coach killing stars with gimpy knees. This trade may provide us with some really good highlights for the next month or so but by the time the trading deadline rolls around, Kidd will be gone and Carter will have "re-injured" his knee for the 5th consecutive season. The Meadowlands should be jumping come May.
Is ESPN really running a counter listing the number of days until Kobe plays Shaq? Ummm, its on Christmas day! I think we can all keep track of that without your help, no? Even if it wasn't on Christmas, do I really need to be constantly updated about an NBA game in December? That's right, I do recall the '86 Celtics wrapping up the NBA title right around the New Year.
Next Sunday's ESPN night game...Browns vs. Dolphins. Sweet. Two teams who've packed it in while playing out the string for lame duck interim coaches. The only thing that intrigues me about this game is that maybe the NFL will have BOTH teams wearing their orange alternate jerseys for this game. That would be the best gift the NFL could give any of us this year. Seriously, why not? With AJ Feeley and Luke McCown starting at QB, its not like their would be a huge spike in interceptions, they throw at the wrong team all the time anyway. Why not give them a built in excuse? That and the thought of Paul Maguire stammering and stumbling through a three hour game is almost enough to keep me from drinking during the telecast just so I can be acutely aware of how horrible him and Theisman are as a broadcasting team...almost.
Monday, December 20, 2004
Friday, December 17, 2004
Jesus! Am I speaking chinese here?
No , Paul you aren't...but Pedro might have been. Did you see his press conference? Some reporter asked Pedro about his feelings on leaving the Red Sox and their fans to which Pedro replied, " Oh...you touched my subpart." HUH. I grew up in Florida so I speak at least enough Spanish to get by and NEVER, EVER have I heard the word "subpart". Actually, didn't Mark Chmura get in trouble that night in the hot tub for touching somebody's subpart? Just in case you haven't crunched the numbers Pedro will be making $13.25 million in each of the next four years, the final two years he'll be 36 and 37. I would be shocked if he recored more than 15 starts in either of those two years.
Now back to Paul Silas last night. I've seen alot of things in the NBA but I can't ever remember a player being "sent to his room" like Eric Snow was last night. That looked like the time I got caught by my Dad for flipping my mom the bird behind her back...not good times. If thats how Paul Silas reacts when he gets a little backtalk, how would he handle having a towel thrown in his face like Danny Ainge from a few years back? Would he just start fighting that player right there on the court? This is the same man who called Ira Newble a "pussy motherfucker" last year in front of numerous NBA reporters. And what does it say about the volatility of Silas that he has had MAJOR run-ins with two guys who aren't exactly regarded as bad apples around the league? No wonder George Shinn wouldn't answer his front door after he fired Silas in New Orleans.
I was getting ready for work this morning with Sportscenter on in the background when I heard a familiar voice but not an ESPN voice. I thought it sounded exactly like somebody but then I said to myself, "No way, he'd never be on ESPN...didn't he enter the Federal Witness Protection Program?" Well, I was wrong or his enemies have died because it WAS who I thought I heard...none other than Fred Hickman, formerly of CNN's sports highlight show, you know the one that ESPN ran into the ground. Good to see Fred back on a major station again, lets just hope that the suits at ESPN don't make him "Stu it up" thereby forcing me to take him down with Linda Cohn, Scott Van Pelt and Stuart Scott.
I heard that you weren't bored enough with the Div. I-AA football tidbits I gave you last week, so I decided to bring them back...James Madison QB Justin Rascati was the QB at Gainesville (Fla.) Bucholz in high school. Which means that I actually saw him play in high school. Surprisingly enough, I have no recollection of him. Actually, thats not surprising at all when you consider that I was usually as drunk as reservation Indian on the first of the month whenever I went to high school football games during my time in Gainesville. Aw shit, who am I kidding? I was that drunk during lunch on a tuesday back then. As good as Rascati is...he'll never live up to the legend of the QB who came before him at Bucholz, the immortal Doug "I really should've given baseball a shot" Johnson. Well, he might if he can manage to make it to the NFL and lose his starting job to Kurt Kittner. It's all about goals.
Is anybody else scared that Tim Hudson is going to have to a completely ridiculous season along the lines of 21-6 with a 2.15 ERA now that he's in Atlanta? Jeez, If Leo Mazzone turned Kevin Millwood and Jaret Wright into 15 game winners then what the hell is he going to do with a complete stud like Hudson? I wish I could lay a bet like "Tim Hudson will win two Cy Young awards in the next five years."
I know that the Mariners had to get better offensively, especially since Brett Boone can't ever take his "vitamins" again, but they may have gone the wrong way with the Sexson and Beltre signings. Safeco Field is a huge, cavernous pitcher's park so they went out and signed two power hitters who will most definitely see a decline in their home run totals. I'm not saying these are bad signings, they're not...both of these guys will probably be All-Stars numerous times in Seattle. These guys just seem much more suited to the Kingdome than Safeco. If you want to win playing in a park like Safeco you need great pitching and a team full of guys who can play small ball with one solid power hitter in the middle of your lineup. Relying on the three run shot in Safeco is going to bite you in the ass more often than not.
Jamal Crawford takes more bad shots than any player I can ever remember...if he has anything resembling an open look from anywhere within 26 feet it is going up and it is going up fast. I really thought that Stephon Marbury was going to drop kick him during the 4th quarter of that Pistons-Knicks game a couple of nights ago. And could somebody please give Jamal his key back to the weight room? It was a good joke but I'm sure the kid is tired of weighing 155 lbs.
It seems like the Olympics were the worst thing that could've happened to Carlos Arroyo. He had a great year last year by being a steady, heady point guard who Jerry Sloan could trust. Then he followed that up with a true "coming out party" in Athens. But now, its like he came back to the NBA this season and decided he was going to try and take over games like he did this summer. All year long he has been endlessly talking trash and forcing up horrible shots that make Jerry Sloan look like he's on the verge of suicide. That's all well and good when you're playing for Puerto Rico (not a real country anyway, does Guam gets its own team?) because you are playing with guys like Larry Ayuso and your team gets its swagger from you...but in the NBA? No, no, no. He established himself by being a pass-first point guard, not a Puerto Rican Gilbert Arenas and if he isn't careful he will be teaming up with Joe Forte in the Latvian league All-Star Game soon.
That's all for me today. I am going home to take a nap in order to prepare myself for the Sonics-Suns game on ESPN tonight. It should be a very exciting game to watch...the only thing missing is Duke Tango running up and down the court yelling things like, "Hot Sizzle" and "Ohhh Baby!"...who knows, maybe ESPN will surprise us.
Now back to Paul Silas last night. I've seen alot of things in the NBA but I can't ever remember a player being "sent to his room" like Eric Snow was last night. That looked like the time I got caught by my Dad for flipping my mom the bird behind her back...not good times. If thats how Paul Silas reacts when he gets a little backtalk, how would he handle having a towel thrown in his face like Danny Ainge from a few years back? Would he just start fighting that player right there on the court? This is the same man who called Ira Newble a "pussy motherfucker" last year in front of numerous NBA reporters. And what does it say about the volatility of Silas that he has had MAJOR run-ins with two guys who aren't exactly regarded as bad apples around the league? No wonder George Shinn wouldn't answer his front door after he fired Silas in New Orleans.
I was getting ready for work this morning with Sportscenter on in the background when I heard a familiar voice but not an ESPN voice. I thought it sounded exactly like somebody but then I said to myself, "No way, he'd never be on ESPN...didn't he enter the Federal Witness Protection Program?" Well, I was wrong or his enemies have died because it WAS who I thought I heard...none other than Fred Hickman, formerly of CNN's sports highlight show, you know the one that ESPN ran into the ground. Good to see Fred back on a major station again, lets just hope that the suits at ESPN don't make him "Stu it up" thereby forcing me to take him down with Linda Cohn, Scott Van Pelt and Stuart Scott.
I heard that you weren't bored enough with the Div. I-AA football tidbits I gave you last week, so I decided to bring them back...James Madison QB Justin Rascati was the QB at Gainesville (Fla.) Bucholz in high school. Which means that I actually saw him play in high school. Surprisingly enough, I have no recollection of him. Actually, thats not surprising at all when you consider that I was usually as drunk as reservation Indian on the first of the month whenever I went to high school football games during my time in Gainesville. Aw shit, who am I kidding? I was that drunk during lunch on a tuesday back then. As good as Rascati is...he'll never live up to the legend of the QB who came before him at Bucholz, the immortal Doug "I really should've given baseball a shot" Johnson. Well, he might if he can manage to make it to the NFL and lose his starting job to Kurt Kittner. It's all about goals.
Is anybody else scared that Tim Hudson is going to have to a completely ridiculous season along the lines of 21-6 with a 2.15 ERA now that he's in Atlanta? Jeez, If Leo Mazzone turned Kevin Millwood and Jaret Wright into 15 game winners then what the hell is he going to do with a complete stud like Hudson? I wish I could lay a bet like "Tim Hudson will win two Cy Young awards in the next five years."
I know that the Mariners had to get better offensively, especially since Brett Boone can't ever take his "vitamins" again, but they may have gone the wrong way with the Sexson and Beltre signings. Safeco Field is a huge, cavernous pitcher's park so they went out and signed two power hitters who will most definitely see a decline in their home run totals. I'm not saying these are bad signings, they're not...both of these guys will probably be All-Stars numerous times in Seattle. These guys just seem much more suited to the Kingdome than Safeco. If you want to win playing in a park like Safeco you need great pitching and a team full of guys who can play small ball with one solid power hitter in the middle of your lineup. Relying on the three run shot in Safeco is going to bite you in the ass more often than not.
Jamal Crawford takes more bad shots than any player I can ever remember...if he has anything resembling an open look from anywhere within 26 feet it is going up and it is going up fast. I really thought that Stephon Marbury was going to drop kick him during the 4th quarter of that Pistons-Knicks game a couple of nights ago. And could somebody please give Jamal his key back to the weight room? It was a good joke but I'm sure the kid is tired of weighing 155 lbs.
It seems like the Olympics were the worst thing that could've happened to Carlos Arroyo. He had a great year last year by being a steady, heady point guard who Jerry Sloan could trust. Then he followed that up with a true "coming out party" in Athens. But now, its like he came back to the NBA this season and decided he was going to try and take over games like he did this summer. All year long he has been endlessly talking trash and forcing up horrible shots that make Jerry Sloan look like he's on the verge of suicide. That's all well and good when you're playing for Puerto Rico (not a real country anyway, does Guam gets its own team?) because you are playing with guys like Larry Ayuso and your team gets its swagger from you...but in the NBA? No, no, no. He established himself by being a pass-first point guard, not a Puerto Rican Gilbert Arenas and if he isn't careful he will be teaming up with Joe Forte in the Latvian league All-Star Game soon.
That's all for me today. I am going home to take a nap in order to prepare myself for the Sonics-Suns game on ESPN tonight. It should be a very exciting game to watch...the only thing missing is Duke Tango running up and down the court yelling things like, "Hot Sizzle" and "Ohhh Baby!"...who knows, maybe ESPN will surprise us.
Monday, December 13, 2004
How long until Deion put out a hit on Troy Brown?
I'm back, and writing on a Monday for a change but that is only because I worked so hard for the first part of the day that I thought I could spare a little time for all my loyal readers...so hello to my girlfriend and my mom.
Well, the Tribe of William & Mary put together what looked to be another great comeback only to fall to the Dukes of James Madison University. JMU will now play Montana in the Div. I-AA National Championship game. It should be an exciting and entertaining game. William & Mary just got down big one too many times and they didn't quite have what it took to knock off the Dukes for the second time this year. Congratulations go out to JMU's QB Justin Rascati who proved to be a better passer than I had previously given him credit for.
I am only basing this on two games of action but I think that JMU receiver D.D. Boxley will play in the NFL someday. I'm not talking about Boxley being a pro bowler but he does look like a guy who can make somebody's roster and eventually become a third or fourth receiver. He'd certainly help his cause if he could play some special teams.
I'm not ready to call him Jim Thorpe but Troy Brown is one hell of an athlete and should get some credit for the AMAZING job he has done as a cornerback this year. This is a guy who was a top 10 receiver in the league a few years ago and ,though somewhat slowed by time, has put together a very good year as a corner, not to mention still contributing as a receiver. It just makes you wonder if he could've been an elite level player at both positions had he been pressed into this type of duty earlier in his career.
Jimmy Smith is the Dick Clark of receivers. Think about it, he doesn't look any older than when he started with the Jaguars and is still consistently beating guys deep even though the Jags have no other receiver who is a legit threat to burn a secondary. He's not showing any real signs of breaking down either. On another note, I can't think of one single celebrity who was busted for possession of cocaine who has aged so gracefully. When he finally decides to retire, (I'm guessing around 2011) Jimmy may have quite a future as a "consultant" in LA.
Did anybody else see Marty Schottenheimer's hat yesterday? Pure comedy. It looked like one of those hats from the $5 bargain bin at The Athlete's Foot. Everytime the camera panned down, I was expecting to see Marty wearing a pair of Zubaz.
Recently, there has been quite a bit of talk about Edgerrin James going to the Bucs in the offseason. I don't know if I can even rationally discuss this because it makes me so damn giddy. It makes sense for Edge since he would love to get back to Florida and play in warm weather again. As for the Bucs, he would immediatley become the best back in Bucs history beating out the likes of such all-time greats as Lars Tate, Ricky Bell, Warrick Dunn, and Thomas Jones.
I was absolutely livid when the Bucs passed on Stephen Jackson in last year's draft and wasn't afraid to tell anybody that would listen, as well as plenty of people who wouldn't about it. While I still think Jackson will be a fantastic back in the League, I am officially sold on Michael Clayton. Clayton has a real chance to be a GREAT receiver in the NFL. He is big, very strong, possesses above average hands and has much better speed than I thought when I watched him at LSU. Plus, he is as tough as any receiver you will see in the NFL today...Nick Saban (his college coach and a former defensive backs coach) said, more than once, that Clayton could've been an All-American if he had stayed at Safety (his original position in college as a freshman). Somehow, I have a hard time imagining Phil Fullmer saying that about Donte' Stallworth.
Did you see Peter King say that Vinny Testaverde told him that he never votes on the Heisman since he doesn't follow college football? Interesting. Its really too bad that Vinny couldn't have obstained from all those horrible passes he threw when he played for the Bucs because he didn't really follow NFL football then now did he?
Is it possible that Aaron Brooks is getting dumber? C'mon, this is getting ridiculous. Every week he makes at least one AWFUL mental mistake. I bet that, as I write this, Jim Mora Jr. is trying to draw up a special provision in Michael Vick's contract that prevents him from hanging out with Brooks during the offseason...something similar to those clauses that prevent skydiving or riding motorcycles because they can be hazardous to a player's career. Because, mentally, would spending time with Aaron Brooks be any different, really?
Thats about it today...I'll try and write more tommorrow...though it may be hard if I still have this pen in my eye. yes, the very same pen that I jabbed into my cornea after David Lee's horrible airball on Saturday.
Well, the Tribe of William & Mary put together what looked to be another great comeback only to fall to the Dukes of James Madison University. JMU will now play Montana in the Div. I-AA National Championship game. It should be an exciting and entertaining game. William & Mary just got down big one too many times and they didn't quite have what it took to knock off the Dukes for the second time this year. Congratulations go out to JMU's QB Justin Rascati who proved to be a better passer than I had previously given him credit for.
I am only basing this on two games of action but I think that JMU receiver D.D. Boxley will play in the NFL someday. I'm not talking about Boxley being a pro bowler but he does look like a guy who can make somebody's roster and eventually become a third or fourth receiver. He'd certainly help his cause if he could play some special teams.
I'm not ready to call him Jim Thorpe but Troy Brown is one hell of an athlete and should get some credit for the AMAZING job he has done as a cornerback this year. This is a guy who was a top 10 receiver in the league a few years ago and ,though somewhat slowed by time, has put together a very good year as a corner, not to mention still contributing as a receiver. It just makes you wonder if he could've been an elite level player at both positions had he been pressed into this type of duty earlier in his career.
Jimmy Smith is the Dick Clark of receivers. Think about it, he doesn't look any older than when he started with the Jaguars and is still consistently beating guys deep even though the Jags have no other receiver who is a legit threat to burn a secondary. He's not showing any real signs of breaking down either. On another note, I can't think of one single celebrity who was busted for possession of cocaine who has aged so gracefully. When he finally decides to retire, (I'm guessing around 2011) Jimmy may have quite a future as a "consultant" in LA.
Did anybody else see Marty Schottenheimer's hat yesterday? Pure comedy. It looked like one of those hats from the $5 bargain bin at The Athlete's Foot. Everytime the camera panned down, I was expecting to see Marty wearing a pair of Zubaz.
Recently, there has been quite a bit of talk about Edgerrin James going to the Bucs in the offseason. I don't know if I can even rationally discuss this because it makes me so damn giddy. It makes sense for Edge since he would love to get back to Florida and play in warm weather again. As for the Bucs, he would immediatley become the best back in Bucs history beating out the likes of such all-time greats as Lars Tate, Ricky Bell, Warrick Dunn, and Thomas Jones.
I was absolutely livid when the Bucs passed on Stephen Jackson in last year's draft and wasn't afraid to tell anybody that would listen, as well as plenty of people who wouldn't about it. While I still think Jackson will be a fantastic back in the League, I am officially sold on Michael Clayton. Clayton has a real chance to be a GREAT receiver in the NFL. He is big, very strong, possesses above average hands and has much better speed than I thought when I watched him at LSU. Plus, he is as tough as any receiver you will see in the NFL today...Nick Saban (his college coach and a former defensive backs coach) said, more than once, that Clayton could've been an All-American if he had stayed at Safety (his original position in college as a freshman). Somehow, I have a hard time imagining Phil Fullmer saying that about Donte' Stallworth.
Did you see Peter King say that Vinny Testaverde told him that he never votes on the Heisman since he doesn't follow college football? Interesting. Its really too bad that Vinny couldn't have obstained from all those horrible passes he threw when he played for the Bucs because he didn't really follow NFL football then now did he?
Is it possible that Aaron Brooks is getting dumber? C'mon, this is getting ridiculous. Every week he makes at least one AWFUL mental mistake. I bet that, as I write this, Jim Mora Jr. is trying to draw up a special provision in Michael Vick's contract that prevents him from hanging out with Brooks during the offseason...something similar to those clauses that prevent skydiving or riding motorcycles because they can be hazardous to a player's career. Because, mentally, would spending time with Aaron Brooks be any different, really?
Thats about it today...I'll try and write more tommorrow...though it may be hard if I still have this pen in my eye. yes, the very same pen that I jabbed into my cornea after David Lee's horrible airball on Saturday.
Friday, December 10, 2004
Can we change Denny Neagle's name to John?
Its Friday and for some reason it feels different than most other Fridays. It could be because I didn't go out and get blackout drunk last nigth, but I doubt it. Of course, I did still have a few drinks...what am I a monk? As a result of this, you'll only be getting some random thoughts as oppossed to the well thought out theories that I usually give to you. Who am I kidding? Even when I'm operating at my full capabilities I'm barely able to string together a couple of poorly worded paragraphs. Well, you get what you pay for. Away we go:
Something that is slipping under the radar with this whole Carmelo Anthony/"Stop Snitching" DVD thing is the marketing acumen shown by these Baltimore drug dealers. Not only did they time the release of this DVD with the Xmas shopping push but they also managed to tie it in with the final two episodes of "The Wire" (based in Baltimore). Pretty impressive stuff for a couple of guys named "Skinny Suge" and "Blickie". MLB should hire these guys to do a campaign for the Nationals.
Tony Allen absolutely took over the Celtics-Blazers game last night for about two minutes. Now, he's probably not the Black Jesus like Bill Simmons would have us believe but with his combination of defense and athleticism he should play in the NBA for at least 10 years. If he ever learns to shoot (at all) he has a legit chance at making a couple of All-Star teams.
Does anybody in the league have worse body language than Paul Pierce? Seriously, its like his Mom took his bike away from him for 48 straight minutes.
I actually tuned in to the Celtics-Blazers game last night to take a look at Sebastian Telfair and I must say that I was impressed. Other than his 27% shooting percentage, he looked very competent running the point. He's put on at least 15 lbs of muscle and was able to get into the lane whenever he wanted. He never looked lost or uncomfortable out there, which is more than you can say for most of the straight out of high school kids. If he keeps working hard he has a chance to be a top 5 point guard in the NBA.
If I were the Blazers GM, I would keep Zach Randolph, Darius Miles, and Telfair and trade everybody else for draft picks, cash, and salary cap room. These are three very young and talented guys who you could let grow together and build around. You already have a proven low post scorer (Randolph), a do-it-all small forward (Miles) and a young pass first point guard (Telfair). Thats a better foundation than 60% of the teams in the NBA. Of course, knowing the Blazers they'll trade for Jerry Stackhouse and sign Jayson Williams
I know that it probably came out a while ago but I just recently saw the Roy Williams (Cowboys DB) MTV Cribs...WOW. Definitely not what I expected. I'm not trying to cast dispersions on the man but I swore that I saw a case of Schmitt's Gay in his fridge.
Since we're bringing up ancient history there is something that his been bothering me for a while now. Am I the only person who think that maybe, just maybe David Wesley had Bobby Phils killed? Think about it for a minute. Wesley, who was the Hornets starting point guard at the time, knew that he would soon be losing his job to rookie Baron Davis and that Phils had the shooting guard spot locked up. After all the years of struggling to make the NBA and establish himself, Wesley simply couldn't bear the thought of coming off the bench. After a few well placed phone calls he asks Phils if he wants to race home from practice. Phils agrees and then is hit by another car on his way home, leading to his untimely death. Unlikely, sure. Horrible, absolutely. Impossible, not so fast. Remember, this is the same city that produced the Fred Lane and Rae Carruth murder cases. I'm just saying...
Has there ever been two receivers from Oregon State in the NFL at the same time much less on the same team? Normally this would say everything that you need to know about the Bengals, but both Chad Johnson and TJ Housjhfddfzjdj have become very reliable receivers. Plus, when you factor in TJ's ponytail (actually longer than a pony's tail) and the general craziness that is Chad Johnson you have to like the Bengals' future. Now if they can just keep Dennis Weathersby from having another near death experience this summer then the Bengals should be in good shape.
Listen, nobody hates Peyton Manning more than me. Nobody cheered louder when he lost the Heisman because he couldn't beat Florida, ever. But give the man his due. When Bill Simmons tried to say that Peyton was playing deep into games in an effort to break Dan Marino's record it showed what a biased homer he is. Hey Bill, maybe Manning is playing so deep into games because he has a Mountain West caliber defense. Don't even get me started on Simmons hinting that Belichick has purposely kept games close just so other teams have less film to watch on the Pats. Yeah, the Pats are SO good that they just sandbag against the Cleveland's of the world. What a joke.
So apparently ESPN is showing some movie titled "3" tommorrow night? I overheard one of my co-workers talking about this earlier today and I can't believe I haven't seen any commercials or even heard a promo about it. Its really too bad that ESPN doesn't have any advertising people who know how to beat the proverbial "dead horse".
If I could only have two NBA moments on tape it would be, without question, Latrell Sprewell attacking Jerome Kersey with a 2' x 4' and Rasheed Wallace pegging Ruben Boumtje-Boumtje in the head with a ball from 60 feet away. What this says about me...I'm not so sure.
Did you see Tracy McGrady drop 13 points on the Spurs in the final 35 seconds last night? That was amazing. Do you think that McGrady will ever realize that he's never played a full game at maximum intensity or that he'll just be content to be my generation's George Gervin? Without the coke habit, of course.
Denny Neagle just lost $19 million because he paid some crackhead hooker $40 for head. What? What? What? If I was a hard up multi-millionaire in a major metropolitan area, I'm pretty sure I'd be able to find the number of an escort service. The internet was invented for a reason...and its not candystand.com
Did you hear that UConn's loss to UMass last night was their first loss to UMass in 19 years? That sounds great. Yet, this becomes much less impressive when you find out that UConn didn't play UMass when they were (how should I word this?) a competent basketball team. Somehow I get the feeling that if Quinnipiac were to awaken the echoes that Jim Calhoun would have to cancel the annual game because he had mistakenly scheduled a game against Foxwoods University on the same day. Its too bad that Bobby Bowden couldn't do this to Miami, if so FSU might have actually won a national championship in the 80's.
Speaking of hookers and UConn...I had a great time making fun of the UConn basketball team this summer after one of their assistant coaches was picked up for soliciting a hooker who was an undercover police officer. I let the UConn fans I know hear it all summer. It was awesome. Until yester day when I opened up the paper to see that former University of Florida men's basketball player and current asst. coach Major Parker had been arrested for selling a half a kilo of blow to an undercover Gainesville cop. How sad. When you get busted for picking up a hooker you get a fine and community service...when you get busted for selling a half a kilo you end up doing another type of community service and I don't mean highway cleanup.
With that on thier minds, the Gators will try and exact some revenge on a Louisville team that absolutely embarrassed them last year. I was in New Orleans at the time and I almost poured hot sauce into my eyes just so I wouldn't have to watch Matt Walsh trying to guard Francisco Garcia. Everything that Garcia did ended up turning into a Louisville bucket. This might have something to do with the fact that Walsh can't guard a potted plant, much less a future NBA first rounder. With that said, the key to this year's game is Florida freshman Corey Brewer. Brewer is a great defensive player who should have his hands full with the multi-talented Garcia. For those of us who really enjoy the great individual matchups that basketball provides, this should be very exciting. Sadly, that eliminates everybody in America other than me and 6 other people. Of course, that still excites more people than any Atlanta Hawks game. This game should tell us alot about the Gators this year. Besides the Brewer-Garcia matchup there are some key questions to be answered in this game. Can Florida handle Louisville's pressure? Can David Lee take advantage of a thin Louisville frontcourt? Can Dick Vitale make it through a whole game without mentioning Matt Walsh's girlfriend? I say No, Yes and, Not even for the first five minutes. Which is fantastic, because thats why we tune in to college basketball on ESPN...to hear somebody tell pointless stories that have nothing to do with the actual game. At least we don't have to hear Vitale ramble on about Jim Valvano for another year.
If you're bored tonight... First of all, go buy some liquor. Then tune in to ESPN2 and watch the College of William & Mary take on James Madison University in the Div. I-AA quaterfinals. These are two natural, conference rivals who will be playing to advance to a place that neither of these schools' football programs have ever been. You will not see two teams play with more intensity or passion than in this game tonight.
Go Tribe.
Something that is slipping under the radar with this whole Carmelo Anthony/"Stop Snitching" DVD thing is the marketing acumen shown by these Baltimore drug dealers. Not only did they time the release of this DVD with the Xmas shopping push but they also managed to tie it in with the final two episodes of "The Wire" (based in Baltimore). Pretty impressive stuff for a couple of guys named "Skinny Suge" and "Blickie". MLB should hire these guys to do a campaign for the Nationals.
Tony Allen absolutely took over the Celtics-Blazers game last night for about two minutes. Now, he's probably not the Black Jesus like Bill Simmons would have us believe but with his combination of defense and athleticism he should play in the NBA for at least 10 years. If he ever learns to shoot (at all) he has a legit chance at making a couple of All-Star teams.
Does anybody in the league have worse body language than Paul Pierce? Seriously, its like his Mom took his bike away from him for 48 straight minutes.
I actually tuned in to the Celtics-Blazers game last night to take a look at Sebastian Telfair and I must say that I was impressed. Other than his 27% shooting percentage, he looked very competent running the point. He's put on at least 15 lbs of muscle and was able to get into the lane whenever he wanted. He never looked lost or uncomfortable out there, which is more than you can say for most of the straight out of high school kids. If he keeps working hard he has a chance to be a top 5 point guard in the NBA.
If I were the Blazers GM, I would keep Zach Randolph, Darius Miles, and Telfair and trade everybody else for draft picks, cash, and salary cap room. These are three very young and talented guys who you could let grow together and build around. You already have a proven low post scorer (Randolph), a do-it-all small forward (Miles) and a young pass first point guard (Telfair). Thats a better foundation than 60% of the teams in the NBA. Of course, knowing the Blazers they'll trade for Jerry Stackhouse and sign Jayson Williams
I know that it probably came out a while ago but I just recently saw the Roy Williams (Cowboys DB) MTV Cribs...WOW. Definitely not what I expected. I'm not trying to cast dispersions on the man but I swore that I saw a case of Schmitt's Gay in his fridge.
Since we're bringing up ancient history there is something that his been bothering me for a while now. Am I the only person who think that maybe, just maybe David Wesley had Bobby Phils killed? Think about it for a minute. Wesley, who was the Hornets starting point guard at the time, knew that he would soon be losing his job to rookie Baron Davis and that Phils had the shooting guard spot locked up. After all the years of struggling to make the NBA and establish himself, Wesley simply couldn't bear the thought of coming off the bench. After a few well placed phone calls he asks Phils if he wants to race home from practice. Phils agrees and then is hit by another car on his way home, leading to his untimely death. Unlikely, sure. Horrible, absolutely. Impossible, not so fast. Remember, this is the same city that produced the Fred Lane and Rae Carruth murder cases. I'm just saying...
Has there ever been two receivers from Oregon State in the NFL at the same time much less on the same team? Normally this would say everything that you need to know about the Bengals, but both Chad Johnson and TJ Housjhfddfzjdj have become very reliable receivers. Plus, when you factor in TJ's ponytail (actually longer than a pony's tail) and the general craziness that is Chad Johnson you have to like the Bengals' future. Now if they can just keep Dennis Weathersby from having another near death experience this summer then the Bengals should be in good shape.
Listen, nobody hates Peyton Manning more than me. Nobody cheered louder when he lost the Heisman because he couldn't beat Florida, ever. But give the man his due. When Bill Simmons tried to say that Peyton was playing deep into games in an effort to break Dan Marino's record it showed what a biased homer he is. Hey Bill, maybe Manning is playing so deep into games because he has a Mountain West caliber defense. Don't even get me started on Simmons hinting that Belichick has purposely kept games close just so other teams have less film to watch on the Pats. Yeah, the Pats are SO good that they just sandbag against the Cleveland's of the world. What a joke.
So apparently ESPN is showing some movie titled "3" tommorrow night? I overheard one of my co-workers talking about this earlier today and I can't believe I haven't seen any commercials or even heard a promo about it. Its really too bad that ESPN doesn't have any advertising people who know how to beat the proverbial "dead horse".
If I could only have two NBA moments on tape it would be, without question, Latrell Sprewell attacking Jerome Kersey with a 2' x 4' and Rasheed Wallace pegging Ruben Boumtje-Boumtje in the head with a ball from 60 feet away. What this says about me...I'm not so sure.
Did you see Tracy McGrady drop 13 points on the Spurs in the final 35 seconds last night? That was amazing. Do you think that McGrady will ever realize that he's never played a full game at maximum intensity or that he'll just be content to be my generation's George Gervin? Without the coke habit, of course.
Denny Neagle just lost $19 million because he paid some crackhead hooker $40 for head. What? What? What? If I was a hard up multi-millionaire in a major metropolitan area, I'm pretty sure I'd be able to find the number of an escort service. The internet was invented for a reason...and its not candystand.com
Did you hear that UConn's loss to UMass last night was their first loss to UMass in 19 years? That sounds great. Yet, this becomes much less impressive when you find out that UConn didn't play UMass when they were (how should I word this?) a competent basketball team. Somehow I get the feeling that if Quinnipiac were to awaken the echoes that Jim Calhoun would have to cancel the annual game because he had mistakenly scheduled a game against Foxwoods University on the same day. Its too bad that Bobby Bowden couldn't do this to Miami, if so FSU might have actually won a national championship in the 80's.
Speaking of hookers and UConn...I had a great time making fun of the UConn basketball team this summer after one of their assistant coaches was picked up for soliciting a hooker who was an undercover police officer. I let the UConn fans I know hear it all summer. It was awesome. Until yester day when I opened up the paper to see that former University of Florida men's basketball player and current asst. coach Major Parker had been arrested for selling a half a kilo of blow to an undercover Gainesville cop. How sad. When you get busted for picking up a hooker you get a fine and community service...when you get busted for selling a half a kilo you end up doing another type of community service and I don't mean highway cleanup.
With that on thier minds, the Gators will try and exact some revenge on a Louisville team that absolutely embarrassed them last year. I was in New Orleans at the time and I almost poured hot sauce into my eyes just so I wouldn't have to watch Matt Walsh trying to guard Francisco Garcia. Everything that Garcia did ended up turning into a Louisville bucket. This might have something to do with the fact that Walsh can't guard a potted plant, much less a future NBA first rounder. With that said, the key to this year's game is Florida freshman Corey Brewer. Brewer is a great defensive player who should have his hands full with the multi-talented Garcia. For those of us who really enjoy the great individual matchups that basketball provides, this should be very exciting. Sadly, that eliminates everybody in America other than me and 6 other people. Of course, that still excites more people than any Atlanta Hawks game. This game should tell us alot about the Gators this year. Besides the Brewer-Garcia matchup there are some key questions to be answered in this game. Can Florida handle Louisville's pressure? Can David Lee take advantage of a thin Louisville frontcourt? Can Dick Vitale make it through a whole game without mentioning Matt Walsh's girlfriend? I say No, Yes and, Not even for the first five minutes. Which is fantastic, because thats why we tune in to college basketball on ESPN...to hear somebody tell pointless stories that have nothing to do with the actual game. At least we don't have to hear Vitale ramble on about Jim Valvano for another year.
If you're bored tonight... First of all, go buy some liquor. Then tune in to ESPN2 and watch the College of William & Mary take on James Madison University in the Div. I-AA quaterfinals. These are two natural, conference rivals who will be playing to advance to a place that neither of these schools' football programs have ever been. You will not see two teams play with more intensity or passion than in this game tonight.
Go Tribe.
Oh no....
Well, I just went to post a new column and lost it again during the publishing process...this is beginning to wear on me since I don't have anything else to look forward to during my day at work. Maybe I'll get the energy to give it another try this evening or maybe not. Who knows? Certainly not me.
Monday, December 06, 2004
And I'm back...
Not that anybody missed me, well except for my Mom who checks everyday in hopes that I will mention her in this column...don't ever say I don't do anything nice for you Judy.
As I'm sure you know by now, I wrote a column last week only to see it disappear into thin air (or thin cyberspace, I guess) and like any horribly immature person who can't get their way, I pouted. I decided not to try and re-write the original post because I didn't think it would've been as good as the original (is it ever?) so I took the week off. Its a shame that the column from last week was lost because there were some one of a kind observations on such pressing topics as Gene Keady's hair, Josh McCown snoodling Denny Green's daughter, the emergence of one Jamaar Taylor and, of course, why Ricky Davis scares white people, oh well.
I would've posted something about Urban Meyer on Friday but I didn't want to jinx it until I heard him talking about how great the University of Florida is.
By the way, it has come out today that Florida AD Jeremy Foley was sitting in Meyer's living room during Meyer's live on-air interview with ABC during the Texas-Texas A&M game. I actually was watching and listened to that interview and heard Meyer deny that he had had ANY discussions about other head coaching positions. This leads to me to one conclusion...never trust a coach when he says he isn't looking for another job, other than the rarest of exceptions, they're all looking to upgrade and with their job security being what it is (think: shakier than Oksauna Baul behind the wheel at 2:30 AM) can you really blame them? Not me.
Enough has already been said about the reasons behind Meyer's choice but I will say this: Florida is poised to make a legitimate two year run at the National Title (at least) and Urban, along with everyone else who follows college football, knows this. He already has great players in place and should be able to recruit provided that he keeps enough of Zook's old staff around. Zook is a GREAT recruiter but you don't have all that success in recruiting by yourself. You must have an above average group of assistants hitting the trail and laying the foundation. Florida does, now the question is...who stays and who moves on to different jobs?
I couldn't be more excited for the Peach Bowl (never thought I'd hear myself say that) and the thought of a UF-Miami matchup. Not only does Florida have the chance to beat both of the other major Florida teams, thus making Florida the STATE CHAMP, but there is the prospect of ending Brock Berlin's pathetic career with a loss to UF. I never wish injury on opposing players but lets just say that if Brock were to , say, have a horrible concussion and be knocked out of the game...I won't be crying in my champagne. I really hate that guy and it didn't have to be this way. Most Gators wished him well after he transferred to Miami. Then he starts acting like he never got a fair shot at Florida (please, who would YOU start Grossman or Berlin? hmmm) and tops it all off by doing the gator chomp/throat slash combo after beating UF in a fourth quarter miracle against a clearly overmatched UF team. If I ever run into him or his waterhead girlfriend, I may just take the felony for the whole Gator Nation.
Reggie Bush is GOOD. That first run was the stuff that wins Heismans. Don't know if he can win it with as little east coast exposure as he got and especially with Leinart on his team, but he is as deserving as anyone, other than Adrian Peterson and he's not going to win anyway. Bush is very similar to Marshall Faulk, circa 2000, in his ability to do everything good if not great. Even with all of that, I don't know if he can ever be an every down back in the NFL. He strikes me as just a little too small. Then again, I also thought Ryan Leaf would be better than Peyton Manning...yeah I'm a pretty awesome guy.
What kind of money do you think it would take to convince Phil Fulmer to give the starting QB job to Rick Clausen next year? I'm willing to bet that we could reach whatever that number is if we just took up a collection among SEC schools, we may not even have to ask teams from the SEC West. I'm more than willing to spearhead all of this.
For those of you out there who love all kinds of football and will be in need of a fix in the coming weeks, I implore you to check out some of the Div. I-AA playoffs. This weekend is the quarterfinals so you'll definitely see some very good, competitive football. The James Madison-Furman matchup had a heck of a finish and William & Mary completed there second amazing comeback in as many weeks. The names may not be familiar but it beats watching Ron Popeil telling you to "Set it & Forget it". Come to think of it, thats exactly what I did with my alarm clock last night...not good times.
Did anybody else see Drew Bledsoe on Countdown admit that he thought drafting Willis McGahee was foolish at the time? Actually very refreshing honesty which is quite rare these days. Though maybe I shouldn't be patting Drew on the back for that one since he probably lost the ability to lie approximately 325 blows to the head ago.
Did you see the Clips may trade for Dunleavy Jr.? If I was him , I would tell my agent to do whatever possible to kill this trade. I know that Golden State is worse off than Clips right now but you CANNOT play for your Dad in the NBA. High School, fine. College, ok. But in the NBA, there's just no dignity in that. Can't you already hear Mikki Moore calling Dunleavy Sr. "Daddy" during practices just to mess with Dunleavy Jr.? Maybe the Clips are just trying to put together an all Duke roster. I hear Trajan Langdon and Casey Sanders are available.
The Magic are 11-5. Think about that for a couple for seconds. Pretty impressive for a team that needed name tags in training camp. Come to think of it, has there ever been a trip to Las Vegas by a large number of NBA players that turned out this well? For somebody other than the owner of the Bunny Ranch I mean.
I wish I could bet on things like "both Steve Francis and Grant Hill will start in the All-Star game". Hill (if healthy) is a lock at this point and Francis started the last two years including during the trainwreck that was last season. I know Houston has great fans but I don't think that they were stuffing the ballot boxes like a bunch of Ukrainian housewives.
If I have one Xmas wish, it is that Notre Dame is coachless for the better part of January. Maybe that would make the pompous alumni and faculty of that school realize that its not 1965 anymore and the country is no longer entranced by your hokey traditions and boring uniforms. If you hadn't guessed, I hate Notre Dame.
enjoy your monday.
As I'm sure you know by now, I wrote a column last week only to see it disappear into thin air (or thin cyberspace, I guess) and like any horribly immature person who can't get their way, I pouted. I decided not to try and re-write the original post because I didn't think it would've been as good as the original (is it ever?) so I took the week off. Its a shame that the column from last week was lost because there were some one of a kind observations on such pressing topics as Gene Keady's hair, Josh McCown snoodling Denny Green's daughter, the emergence of one Jamaar Taylor and, of course, why Ricky Davis scares white people, oh well.
I would've posted something about Urban Meyer on Friday but I didn't want to jinx it until I heard him talking about how great the University of Florida is.
By the way, it has come out today that Florida AD Jeremy Foley was sitting in Meyer's living room during Meyer's live on-air interview with ABC during the Texas-Texas A&M game. I actually was watching and listened to that interview and heard Meyer deny that he had had ANY discussions about other head coaching positions. This leads to me to one conclusion...never trust a coach when he says he isn't looking for another job, other than the rarest of exceptions, they're all looking to upgrade and with their job security being what it is (think: shakier than Oksauna Baul behind the wheel at 2:30 AM) can you really blame them? Not me.
Enough has already been said about the reasons behind Meyer's choice but I will say this: Florida is poised to make a legitimate two year run at the National Title (at least) and Urban, along with everyone else who follows college football, knows this. He already has great players in place and should be able to recruit provided that he keeps enough of Zook's old staff around. Zook is a GREAT recruiter but you don't have all that success in recruiting by yourself. You must have an above average group of assistants hitting the trail and laying the foundation. Florida does, now the question is...who stays and who moves on to different jobs?
I couldn't be more excited for the Peach Bowl (never thought I'd hear myself say that) and the thought of a UF-Miami matchup. Not only does Florida have the chance to beat both of the other major Florida teams, thus making Florida the STATE CHAMP, but there is the prospect of ending Brock Berlin's pathetic career with a loss to UF. I never wish injury on opposing players but lets just say that if Brock were to , say, have a horrible concussion and be knocked out of the game...I won't be crying in my champagne. I really hate that guy and it didn't have to be this way. Most Gators wished him well after he transferred to Miami. Then he starts acting like he never got a fair shot at Florida (please, who would YOU start Grossman or Berlin? hmmm) and tops it all off by doing the gator chomp/throat slash combo after beating UF in a fourth quarter miracle against a clearly overmatched UF team. If I ever run into him or his waterhead girlfriend, I may just take the felony for the whole Gator Nation.
Reggie Bush is GOOD. That first run was the stuff that wins Heismans. Don't know if he can win it with as little east coast exposure as he got and especially with Leinart on his team, but he is as deserving as anyone, other than Adrian Peterson and he's not going to win anyway. Bush is very similar to Marshall Faulk, circa 2000, in his ability to do everything good if not great. Even with all of that, I don't know if he can ever be an every down back in the NFL. He strikes me as just a little too small. Then again, I also thought Ryan Leaf would be better than Peyton Manning...yeah I'm a pretty awesome guy.
What kind of money do you think it would take to convince Phil Fulmer to give the starting QB job to Rick Clausen next year? I'm willing to bet that we could reach whatever that number is if we just took up a collection among SEC schools, we may not even have to ask teams from the SEC West. I'm more than willing to spearhead all of this.
For those of you out there who love all kinds of football and will be in need of a fix in the coming weeks, I implore you to check out some of the Div. I-AA playoffs. This weekend is the quarterfinals so you'll definitely see some very good, competitive football. The James Madison-Furman matchup had a heck of a finish and William & Mary completed there second amazing comeback in as many weeks. The names may not be familiar but it beats watching Ron Popeil telling you to "Set it & Forget it". Come to think of it, thats exactly what I did with my alarm clock last night...not good times.
Did anybody else see Drew Bledsoe on Countdown admit that he thought drafting Willis McGahee was foolish at the time? Actually very refreshing honesty which is quite rare these days. Though maybe I shouldn't be patting Drew on the back for that one since he probably lost the ability to lie approximately 325 blows to the head ago.
Did you see the Clips may trade for Dunleavy Jr.? If I was him , I would tell my agent to do whatever possible to kill this trade. I know that Golden State is worse off than Clips right now but you CANNOT play for your Dad in the NBA. High School, fine. College, ok. But in the NBA, there's just no dignity in that. Can't you already hear Mikki Moore calling Dunleavy Sr. "Daddy" during practices just to mess with Dunleavy Jr.? Maybe the Clips are just trying to put together an all Duke roster. I hear Trajan Langdon and Casey Sanders are available.
The Magic are 11-5. Think about that for a couple for seconds. Pretty impressive for a team that needed name tags in training camp. Come to think of it, has there ever been a trip to Las Vegas by a large number of NBA players that turned out this well? For somebody other than the owner of the Bunny Ranch I mean.
I wish I could bet on things like "both Steve Francis and Grant Hill will start in the All-Star game". Hill (if healthy) is a lock at this point and Francis started the last two years including during the trainwreck that was last season. I know Houston has great fans but I don't think that they were stuffing the ballot boxes like a bunch of Ukrainian housewives.
If I have one Xmas wish, it is that Notre Dame is coachless for the better part of January. Maybe that would make the pompous alumni and faculty of that school realize that its not 1965 anymore and the country is no longer entranced by your hokey traditions and boring uniforms. If you hadn't guessed, I hate Notre Dame.
enjoy your monday.
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