Friday, August 31, 2007

Saturday, Saturday, Saturday....

As I’m sure you’re all aware of, the College Football season kicks off (in earnest) tomorrow. This is, without a doubt, one of the greatest days of the year along with the first day of March Madness, Christmas and, of course whatever day I manage to make my way up to Gainesville to watch Florida play in the Swamp. I’m actually hoping/planning to see Florida play in person a few times this season so it could end up being a hell of a fall. Not that last Fall was anything to sneeze at. If you can’t tell, I’m pretty excited about college football. So excited, in fact, that I ended up getting drunk at the house last night while watching the LSU-MSU opener on ESPN. I rationalized sitting through the 4th quarter of that game by saying I was “scouting” LSU and trying to get a look at their new offense, as well as my first real look at Ryan Perrilloux but really, who was I kidding? I was just giddy about the SEC season opening and I chose to express this giddiness through the majesty of Pabst Blue Ribbon (just $6.99 for a 12 pack at Publix. Boo. Yah.) So, I’m a little hungover today and the funny machine seems to be operating at a less than optimal rate. What do you want from me, it’s the beginning of a 3 day weekend?

Anyway, with an eye towards the first college football Saturday of the year tomorrow, I figured I’d center today’s column around my activities tomorrow which will focus most specifically on the home opener for YOUR 2007 National Champion Florida Gators.

10:30 am: Wake up and turn on Gameday. Smile a warm and knowing smile.

10:33 am: Curse Lee Corso.

10:45 am: Get out of bed, get something to eat. Beer’s on the way soon and I need something, anything in my stomach.

10:47 am: Curse the fact that Florida’s opener is at 12:30 pm and not the traditional 6 pm start. Fuck you, Lincoln Financial Sports.

10: 51 am: Receive excited call from my FSU alum sister about the arrival of college football. Talk shop with her while she yells at her kids to “Shutup while Mommy’s talking football.” You have to love the South.

11:00 am: Go outside and hang up my brand new Gator Nation flag. It’s a beautiful sight to behold. By the way, you’ll see a lot of schools with these flags now and that’s all well and good. However, Florida was the first school to produce these flags because, well, we’re better than everybody else. (Have the last 16 months taught you nothing?)

11:05 am: Bond with my new neighbors across the street who are also UF alumni. Right now, I’m just the “sketchy guy across the street”. By this time tomorrow I’ll be the “great young man across the street who went to Florida”.

11:45 am: Call my old roommate Vitas and scream “TEBOW SMASH!!” at him as he laughs and screams something similar to me.

11:46 am: Hang up phone.

11:53 am: Call my Dad and discuss how wonderful a day it is while casually mentioning that FSU has lost 3 of the last 4 to Clemson. He is not amused. Me? I’m enjoying it.

12: 07 pm: Put on my new Florida shirt. You’ve got to have a new shirt for each new season, especially since I retired last year’s shirt. I think it had earned it.

12:10 pm: Pick up aforementioned 12 pack of PBR at Publix. Mmmm, alcoholism.

12:15 pm: Arrive at Vitas’ house.

12:19 pm: Make annual “Player of the Game” predictions with Vitas.

12: 21 pm: Punch Vitas’ friend and co-worker Sink. It’s a tradition at this point.

12:23 pm: Begin to have uncontrollable spasms at the thought of Gator football.

12:29 pm: Talk about how miserable it must be in The Swamp. There’s a reason Florida doesn’t play games this early in early September.

12:32 pm: And Here Come the Gators!!! It gives me goosebumps when I hear that.

12:37 pm: Kickoff. Jesus, I can’t wait to see Florida hit the field.

12:38-3:53 pm: Entranced by the power of Florida Football. (Some activities that may occur during this time include: Wiping my face with my sleeve ala Urban Meyer, Pointing viciously ala Urban Meyer, Screaming “Percy!” as Percy Harvin blows by a helpless Western Kentucky defender, talking about how huge Cornelius Ingram is (ngs) with Vitas and Sink, avoiding my friend Socks’ drunken phone calls from inside the San Francisco Gator Club (x 3), Making up nicknames for UF players who don’t yet have them (last year’s personal fave was “Gunz” for Tony Joiner, kind of an inside joke), yelling at the TV as Nat Moore once again shows the audience he spent another off-season reworking the basics of the English language, and screaming at various levels of excitement for the many young talented players who will be introducing themselves to the Gator Nation throughout tomorrow’s game.)

4:05 pm: Head home to take advantage of my couch, three TVs and the ESPN Gameplan package. It’s looking like GT-ND on the big TV early with some combo of Wazzu-Wisconsin, Nevada-Nebraska, Wake-BC and Mizzou-Illinois on TVs 2 & 3.

5:15 pm: Possibly sneak in a game of NCAA ’08 (Tennessee is up next on the schedule), or not. It really depends on whether (a) I get too drunk (a nap could result) or (b) the late afternoon games are in any way competitive.

7:15 pm: Food. I must have food. Wings just seem appropriate on a day like tomorrow.

7:45 pm: Plant myself on my couch for the rest of the evening in hopes a too highly competitive games featuring SEC East rivals Tennessee (@ Cal) and Georgia (at home against Oklahoma St.)

11: 30 pm: Cap the night off with a shot of Jagermeister (or two) and an extended viewing of highlights of games I’ve already watched.

11: 45 pm: Make sure I’ve remembered to TIVO the Urban Meyer show on Sunday morning.

1:30 am: Go to sleep happy. Very happy.


CFunk28 said...

It makes me smile to know that you punch others too. I hate you. But I love Saturdays in the fall.

CFunk28 said...

Awesome. Good to see your old buddy Rob is doing well. And who knew that Burke loved the Nubian Princesses. He has his masters from NC A&T.

Mark said...

I'm kind of a violent guy, if you hadn't noticed. Jesus, I wish I could go to sleep now and wake up tomorrow ready for a days worth of football.

Greg said...

Hughes...drunk? violent? Not exactly shattering the Irish-American stereotypes.

TJ said...

Good morning college football.

TJ said...

You know, I don't remember GameDay going to Columbine for the first game of the year.

Greg said...

Or Ground Zero....

Greg said...

It's GAMEDAY LIVE from the site of the Hindenburg Disaster....

(yes, I could go on...)

Greg said...

Take THAT!!!!