It's that time of the year again. No, not the time to break out your Perfect Strangers DVDs. Though that does sounds fun. No, not the time to appreciate all the blessings in your life and spend time with family. While that's nice and all, there's nothing that says you can't do that at in the middle of April.
I'm talking about the annual Thanksgiving weekend that also doubles as an excuse to get rip-roaring drunk for four or five consecutive nights. What's better than getting shitcanned, sleeping in/laying on the couch all morning and then gorging yourself on some of the most delicious, artery clogging food this side of Milwaukee? Not much. Except, maybe getting repeatedly shitcanned, sleeping in and devouring boatloads of leftover artery clogging food. That's my Thanksgiving wish for all of you out there today. Booze, food and football. I'm pretty sure, you won't get a more thoughtful gift all year long. Enjoy.
On a personal note, I won't be eating Thanksgiving with my family for the first time since my freshman year in college. While the lucky people who get to be related to me (Seriously, how envious are you?) are all in Tallahassee this weekend, I'll be back here with my girlfriend and her family for the holiday. That's right, not only am I missing Thanksgiving, I'll also be missing out on free tickets to the Florida-FSU football game. I guess I could drive up on Friday for the game but there's something else at work here besides me being the greatest boyfriend ever.
You see, I've never seen the Gators win at Doak Campbell. Never. Ever. I saw them tie once (ugh) but that's as close as I've come. When Florida broke the 18 year winless streak in Doak two years ago, I was working an event. So, I've decided, in the best interest of Florida football, to stay home and watch this game on TV. Lest I show up and cause the Mighty Gators to lose and ruin the faint National Championship hopes that they still have. While I'll miss the atmosphere of this rivalry. I won't miss the drive to Tallahassee, the smell of Tallahassee and the dim-witted residents of Tallahassee. Hopefully, my strategy works.
Finally, tomorrow is the annual Turkey Bowl game. This is a pretty big deal between my friends and I and always provides plenty of high (and low) lights for all. What else can you say about an event in which at least 50% of the participants are still drunk from the night before?
Disclaimer: This post sucks. I know that. Blame the half day that I'm taking today and the generous helping of Maker's Mark I drank last night for that. Or blame me. I don't care. I've got the next five days off. I've also got the following things on my agenda during that time: Get drunk, play football, watch football, eat, get drunk, watch basketball, eat, get drunk, watch Florida-Kansas (basketball), eat, watch Florida-FSU (football), get drunk, eat, get drunk(er), eat, watch more football. Happy Thanksgiving indeed.