I'm just waiting for my age to catch up with my fashion sense...

So I’m waiting for my lunch at Panera earlier today when I notice an awesome old man sitting down and eating his lunch. Most of my friends know that I’m eagerly awaiting the winter of my existence. It’s not that I want to die or anything, it’s more that I admire the “Fuck it!” attitude that many people acquire once they reach their 60s and 70s. I think it’s hilarious when old people are especially bitter or just over dealing with normal social conventions anymore, and there’s certainly nothing more enjoyable than the fashion sense of many of these geriatrics.

This guy was the perfect example of the kind of avant-garde wardrobe that makes me admire the senile set so much. Allow me to set the stage: Joe Paterno style glasses, a “Jamaican t-shirt” (you know what I’m talking about, it has a bunch a dancing “Jamaicans” on it and it reads “We Be Jammin’ Mon” in red, yellow, & green), a pair of swimming trunks, a pair of white tube socks pulled well over his calves, and a pair of white leather dress shoes ( “Clark: Gift.”). Thank you crazy old dude from Panera. You don’t even know it but you’re an inspiration to me and thousands like me. Now that I’ve gotten that off my chest, on to some random thoughts that you’re not likely to find in the latest of issue of Southern Living.

- That was a great win for FSU last night and, as Dick Vitale said at least 78 times during the second half, should probably gain them entrance into the tournament. Which could certainly raise the ire of TJ and his fellow Colonial Athletic Association lovers. It’s really too bad if things continue to fall against the CAA during the first two weeks of March because it’s a vastly underrated conference that deserves more than one (automatic) bid. I won’t repeat what’s been discussed by Rob, TJ, Whitney and others, but suffice it to say that the Colonial has as many as four teams who could make a sweet sixteen run if they end up in the right bracket a couple of weeks from now.

As for FSU, is it any wonder that this school has a circus instead of a law or medical school? Jesus, these inbreds couldn’t even wait until the game was over to storm the court. Then, to top it off, they decided to boo Duke for pulling it’s players off the floor for their protection despite the fact that Duke was classy enough to make sure to congratulate the FSU players and coaches before exiting.

I don’t begrudge the FSU students in attendance last night (how was your first basketball game of the year everybody?) for rushing the floor after beating Duke. However, I do begrudge them for being a bunch of drunken lemmings who can’t tell the difference between a clock which reads “00:00” and one that still has 1.9 seconds left on it. Just when I think that it’s not possible for me to hate that school anymore they turn around and amaze me all over again.

Unfortunately for me, last night’s run of upsets did not include the Orlando Magic (shocking I know) who moved to 0-2 on their current 8 game road trip. As discouraging as the thought of taking the collar on this road trip is for me, I’ve been able to take solace in the Magic’s decision to use this road trip as a springboard for more playing time for Darko Milicic. Darko responded to this chance last night with 12 points and 9 rebounds including a sweet spin move in the lane on which he got fouled while still managing to finish with a lefty jump hook. While I’m still trying to temper my enthusiasm on Darko’s potential, his development thus far has already surpassed what I thought we’d see from him during his first few weeks in Orlando. Additionally, his presence has rekindled my waning interest in Orlando’s season. Prior to Darko’s arrival, I found myself putting Magic games on my second TV (it is March) and really only paying attention when Dwight Howard was in the game. However, since the acquisition of Darko I’m setting my Tivo to record each Magic game so that I won’t miss any of his time on the court. Furthermore, if he and Howard are on the court together you could walk into my house with a dead baby on a shovel and I wouldn’t even flinch. I really hope the Magic don’t ruin this for me too, like they’ve ruined everything over the past 9 years.

While I’m talking about young big men with loads of potential, I ought to mention something I saw last night. I was watching the Texas-Texas A&M game when I saw LaMarcus Aldridge unveil a sky hook. I’m not talking a jump hook or any other bastardized version of the hook, but an actual honest to goodness sky hook. I’ve been a little back and forth on Aldridge’s overall potential and even thought that scouts were overrating him a bit, but that was before I saw him unleash a pretty solid sky hook. If perfects that thing, you’re looking at a 10-time All-Star and perennial All-NBA player.

- I think that I need to introduce my girlfriend to Andre Kirilenko’s wife.

- Did anybody else watch the Oklahoma-Oklahoma State game on Monday? It was a pretty good game with a great ending but the players at Oklahoma State had me ready to throw a brick threw my TV by midway through the second half. In case you missed it, OSU has a player named Marcus Dove on their roster. Every time that Mr. Dove makes a play, the entire team feels the need to throw up their hands in the shape of bird wings. When I say every time, I mean EVERY TIME. Hit a free throw: Throw up the wings. Get a steal: Wing time. Uncontested dunk: flap, flap, flap. We get it, his name is the same as that of a bird. You’re all very original. No wonder that Eddie Sutton had to knock back two bottles of Boone’s Farm before getting on a two hour flight with these bamas.

- I wanted to tackle the selection of USA Basketball’s initial roster for the World Championships this summer, but decided against it because I’d like to try and devote an entire column to it. I have some gripes about the selection of players as well as a few questions regarding the overall makeup of the team that I’d like to take my time writing about. Hopefully I’ll get something good up by about mid-week. This will be it for me this week though. I’m taking tomorrow off work so that I can rest after what promises to be an eventful night. My friend Jason is getting married on Saturday and we’re taking him out for his bachelor party tonight. It should be interesting. It’s no secret that I love the sauce, as do all of my friends. Furthermore, I’ve been known to ingest a few illicit substances from time to time in my past. Of all my friends, there were a select few whom I could always count on to do whatever it was I stuck in front of their face (like the fat kid in elementary school who would eat anything that you gave him at lunch). Jason was always at the top of this list. Combine that with the fact that Jason is approximately 5’3”, 155 lbs. AND a cage fighter, and you can probably guess that we’ve had our share of ridiculous nights. If you would’ve asked me two years ago what his bachelor party would be like and I probably would’ve responded with something like, “a cross between Mons Venus and John Frusciante’s old house in LA”. That was then, this is now.

Now, Jason’s fiancée has his balls in the music box on her dresser at home. Now, Jason says that he doesn’t want to attend any strip clubs. We practically had to force him to have a bachelor party at all. I’m still betting that a couple of drinks will bring out the Jason that we all know and love and that he’ll be doing powdered donuts in Lido’s by 1:30 in the morning but, none of us are really sure of what to expect. Well, that’s not entirely true. I expect to be hammered and offensive to everybody in my general vicinity for a solid five or six hours tonight. Hopefully Jason is right there with me.

- Finally, I posted some pics of Tinsely earlier today, but here’s one last one. Notice the white spot on his chest and see if you see the resemblance between that and the South Carolina Flag…and yes, I do realize that I’m a pathetic excuse for an adult.