I know that I haven’t exactly been overloading this space with any new material this week but there is actually a decent excuse this time around. I’ve been slammed all week trying to finish my company’s monthly magazine and get it out to all of our subscribers ASAP. That alone would be enough to keep me busy, but when you factor in me not receiving two key articles until yesterday afternoon, it makes for a pretty hectic few days for me. As I type this, the magazine has been sent off to our printer and (barring any unforeseen developments) should be off my plate until I get ready to start working on next month’s issue (read: in a week or two). It’s really not that bad, the magazine is my primary responsibility and I’m the only person who works on it so I’m able to work at my own pace (to a certain degree) as well as avoid any superfluous contact with the outside world during my workday. Yet, as a result of the past few days I haven’t read my normal amount of useless sports info on the internet or even bothered to make note of things that I consider worthy of mention in this space. I’ll be back in normal form next week with at least 3 posts (hopefully more) of the usual boozy blathering. As for today, I do have a few things that I might as well get down before they become less relevant than Terry Bowden’s thoughts on anything other than Lucky Charms.
- Denver may have had their ass handed to them on Sunday (was it Sunday?) and Jake Plummer may have finally reared his ugly little snake head at the worst possible time, but the good folks in the Mile High City do have one thing going for them: An awesome in-game music guy. I know nothing of the soundtrack at Invesco Field; however I do know that they were playing Tom Petty’s The Waiting during the instant replay timeout during the second quarter. Good song. Perfect timing.
This may not be a big deal to most people but I feel you can really affect the overall atmosphere of a stadium with the right music during breaks. For example: On MLK Day, Bethune Cookman and NC A&T were playing on ESPN. As ESPN cut to commercial you could clearly hear Laffy Taffy playing in the background. Personally, that song makes me want to gouge my eyes out with a peanut shell but I’m pretty sure it was a BIG hit in Greensboro last Monday.
Keep in mind that I’m the same kid who openly lobbied (and succeeded) for his former minor league baseball team to use Bill Conti’s The Best Around as its victory music.
- Was there anything last weekend that was as funny as seeing Ben Roethlisberger “shoot the guns” after his late second quarter TD pass to Hines Ward? When CBS cut to a shot of him doing that I started laughing hysterically. Is there another position in sports that so often leads players to a “shooting of the guns” in celebration of a big play? Can you even imagine what would happen if a pitcher celebrated his K’s this way? Even Carlos Perez wasn’t that demonstrative on the mound.
Another thing about Roethlisberger that warrants mentioning is his god awful beard. Listen, nobody appreciates a solid beard as much as I do. I’m not even very discriminate when it comes to beard styling, but Roethlisberger has an inability to grow hair in certain places on his chin that ends up leaving some space on the chin that makes it appear as if a ball sack is sitting right on his chin. It’s very disconcerting. Couldn’t Jerome Bettis get his barber to at least even Ben up or something?
What do this guy and Big Ben have in common?
- I’m old. This is just beginning to hit me now. It’s not that I feel old because I hear songs I grew up with on classic rock stations or that I can’t get over the fashion trends of America’s youth, far from it. What has made my aging abundantly clear over the past month or so is my distinct inability to shake off a hangover like I used too. A few years ago all it took was some 
grease and maybe even a nice big papal ballot to get me back up to functioning
- I’m old. This is just beginning to hit me now. It’s not that I feel old because I hear songs I grew up with on classic rock stations or that I can’t get over the fashion trends of America’s youth, far from it. What has made my aging abundantly clear over the past month or so is my distinct inability to shake off a hangover like I used too. A few years ago all it took was some 
grease and maybe even a nice big papal ballot to get me back up to functioningat 85%. Now, even light
hangovers are starting to
become all day affairs.
It’s gotten so bad that
after last Saturday night
I woke up at 11:30 and sat around watching NFL Countdown for a few minutes
before ultimately deciding to head back to bed. I ended up waking at
3:40, eating Taco Bell and then laying on my couch for the remainder
of the day unable to do anything other than watch football. At one point during the Steelers-Broncos game, I tried to read Sports Illustrated whichimmediately left me feeling like I’d been reading 9/11 Commission Report in the back of a minivan for about an hour.
I couldn’t be more disappointed in myself.
- I was watching one of those ads on TV that make the Marines seem like some great video game when I started thinking about what branch of the military I’d join if I was forced to join the armed services. It didn’t take long. Maybe it’s because I grew up near an Air Force Base but joining the Air Force sure seems like a no-brainer to me. Unless you are a pilot, most people who join the Air Force end up with what amounts to a normal job. You stand virtually no chance of going off to war, and even if you do there’s no way that you’ll be anywhere near the front lines. So, unless you are joining the military to fight in a war, then why wouldn’t you join the Air Force? Perhaps more importantly, why doesn’t the Air Force emphasize these attractive characteristics in its advertising and slogans? It’s a common knowledge that a large percentage of the people who enlist in the military do so because they lack other options with regards to their long term future due to their lack of financial security. With that in mind, why wouldn’t the Air Force go with a slogan other than the same lame “Aim High: Air Force” that they’ve used for so many years. While we’re here, I even have a suggestion that the good folks in Colorado Springs can use free of charge. Keep in mind that this is just a suggestion.
Air Force: It’s quite unlikely that you’ll be dismembered or die!!
- A certain team who resides in Central Florida extended their winning streak last night and will be going for a sixth straight victory this evening. I don’t know who it is…I just heard it mentioned on the radio today.
- Remember when I mentioned my trepidation over the complications in Larry Grant’s recruiting and how it was bringing back some very old, very bad memories? Yeah, well let’s just say that the next time the Gators recruit A JUCO Linebacker, I won’t even have the strength to so much as mention the guys name until he physically sets foot on campus as a University of Florida student.
- Speaking of UF, the previously unbeaten Men’s Basketball team has now dropped two in a row in the SEC East. While I’m not overjoyed at this development, I’m also not overly concerned with this string of games. Florida’s loss at Tennessee was a game that could’ve gone either way and, frankly, I was encouraged at the way that the team battled on the road (in front of 27,000 lathered up inbreds), especially after Corey Brewer went down with an ankle sprain early in the second half. As for the loss at South Carolina, the team played its worst game of the year at a time when USC was desperate for a conference win. If anything this loss will allow Billy Donovan to break this team down and further prepare them for the rest of the conference schedule as well as the NCAA Tourney. With that said, Florida does need to start getting more production from their bench if they have designs on making an extended run come March. Right now only Chris Richard is supplying anything other than “energy” off the pine.
That’s it for me today. I’ll be back, as promised, next week.
Air Force: It’s quite unlikely that you’ll be dismembered or die!!
- A certain team who resides in Central Florida extended their winning streak last night and will be going for a sixth straight victory this evening. I don’t know who it is…I just heard it mentioned on the radio today.
- Remember when I mentioned my trepidation over the complications in Larry Grant’s recruiting and how it was bringing back some very old, very bad memories? Yeah, well let’s just say that the next time the Gators recruit A JUCO Linebacker, I won’t even have the strength to so much as mention the guys name until he physically sets foot on campus as a University of Florida student.
- Speaking of UF, the previously unbeaten Men’s Basketball team has now dropped two in a row in the SEC East. While I’m not overjoyed at this development, I’m also not overly concerned with this string of games. Florida’s loss at Tennessee was a game that could’ve gone either way and, frankly, I was encouraged at the way that the team battled on the road (in front of 27,000 lathered up inbreds), especially after Corey Brewer went down with an ankle sprain early in the second half. As for the loss at South Carolina, the team played its worst game of the year at a time when USC was desperate for a conference win. If anything this loss will allow Billy Donovan to break this team down and further prepare them for the rest of the conference schedule as well as the NCAA Tourney. With that said, Florida does need to start getting more production from their bench if they have designs on making an extended run come March. Right now only Chris Richard is supplying anything other than “energy” off the pine.
That’s it for me today. I’ll be back, as promised, next week.
13 comments:
The Gamecocks beating Florida is definitely not a reason for you to worry, because every year we beat a team we aren't supposed to, like Kentucky, then drop four straight to crappy teams like Miss. State or Georgia. Quite frustrating, but doesn't mean you guys are in trouble.
As for me moving to Seattle, here's the deal - it's at least $250 cheaper for you and Calvin to fly there than it is to Montana, so we're doing the draft in Seattle for sure. Try to get Tyler and Trey in on the mix too.
As for me and Joe, it was a messy breakup, full of broken promises, dirty underwear and hour-long crying fits. I gave him the old "it's not you, it's me" line. Maybe I should stop with this gay joke right there, it's hitting too close to home.
This is going to save me like $300! I never thought in my wildest dreams that John's life was worth that much.
Yeah SC played as well as I would imagine they can play. They're actually a pretty solid team this year. Too bad you have John Clayton, err Dave Odom as your coach.
Joe will be in my prayers...my prayers to the dark lord of the underworld that is.
I already checked on flights to Seattle, I'm all over it. I think Trey is still unemployed so he shouldn't ahve any excuses, well maybe that whole "money" thing.
Can we get off of the Tyler bandwagon? I think that we all know that B&B would never let him go on vacation in the middle of the season.
So after looking at flights, I'm pretty frickin' excited. Hughes, I'm thinking of flying out on April 27, that's a Thursday, and coming back on Monday. I was checking and we could actually meet up in Dallas and be on the same flight from Dallas to Seattle. I can't believe how excited I am about this. Awesome
Calvin,
Call me. I'd be down to meet up in Dallas for the second leg of the trip. Though, if we fly out on Wednesday then we could catch an M's game that night. I'm pretty damn excited too.
If we pull it off this year, we'll definitely have to make it an annual event, considering how awesome it's going to be to watch me fall on the floor and go into convulsions when the Bills trade up to draft Vince "I throw like Napoleon Dynamite's uncle" Young.
Forgot about Tyler actually having a job, he's probably out, but Trey should be in, considering he's not doing a whole lot these days.
All I know is that the Gamecocks are already talking about lynching Odom/Clayton and everyone seems to want to go after Tubby Smith, to add to our longstanding tradition of bringing in good coaches only to watch them flounder and then retire in disgrace.
Going to a game at Safeco would be cool. I should be able to fly out Wednesday. I'll give you a call.
I'd like to be able to cross Safeco off the list as well.
John,
You gotta know your strengths at SC.
Do you guys have Trey's number? The one I have for him is old, so I won't be able to get in contact with him. Someone call him and tell him the plan.
By the way, mine's (406)270-7129 if you need to get in touch with me about anything.
Trey's number is 321-848-7617. That's the newest one I have. Meaning the one he got after Buck fired him
That's the right number for Trey.
Oh, I forgot to mention that I'll have a huge TV by then, so we'll be able to see Paul Tagliabue's nose hair when he reads off Reggie Bush's name and we'll be able to see his lips curl into an evil grin when the Vikings miss their pick again.
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