IWe weren't hanging out with Cameron Diaz on Sunday, but we were...

Now that is what I call a weekend. Screw that two days off in a row bullshit, I need at least three quality days in succession if I am to really enjoy my time away from the headaches of work. Of course, this weekend also rendered me somewhat useless when it came to communicating ideas and personal thoughts to anybody other than my dog Tinsley. Besides the normal boozefest that marks the annual start of summer around these parts, some friends and I ran into a local horticulturalist at the bar on Sunday night which led to a very long evening of laughter and dilated pupils courtesy of a certain fungi. Needless to say, I was absolutely useless yesterday, though I did manage to drag myself out of bed in time to enjoy a large plate of ribs later in the afternoon. As for yesterday night's Suns-Spurs game, I was surprised to see the Suns decide to show up even though they were down 3-0. Most teams have their tee times set up for the following morning in a situation like that, but the Suns came out and played their best game of the series when everybody in the building expected them to roll over. Phoenix still doesn't have a snowball's chance in hell to win this series but last night's performance definitely bodes well for the next couple of years in the valley of the sun.

In the interest of giving my brain a break, the rest of today's thoughts will be in the standard bullet point format. Enjoy.

- Manu Ginobili is effin' awesome and a ton of fun to watch but his overly dramtic flops really get on my nerves. I personally thought that he (alone) should've received a technical for his part in the minor dustup between him and Amare Stoudemire last night. I know that it's somewhat unprecedented for a player to receive a tech for an egregious flop but between that and his five second attempted rape on Stoudemire, I thought that a technical was well within reason.

- Unless Detroit can reel off four straight games, it sure looks like my prediction for the Eastern Conference Finals is about as wise as my decision to hold on to all my Jose Canseco rookie cards after his 40/40 season. You won't find a much bigger Dwyane Wade fan than me but I'd be lying if I said that I had any idea that he would be such a dominant force in this series. He continually finds ways to get his shot without forcing too many bad ones or committing too many turnovers (which was his biggest weakness in the regular season). I'm flat out excited about tonight's game.

- I'd planned on writing more today but I just don't have the mental stamina to put together well thought, and coherent sentences at this point in the afternoon so I'll leave you with one last thing that I've been meaning to mention in this space:

The Milwaukee Bucks should draft Andrew Bogut. Here's why: Bogut is a legit NBA center and those kind of guys don't fall into your lap very often, generally about every 15-20 years. Beyond that, the Bucks are going to try and retain the services of Michael Redd this summer and it will be alot easier to sell him on the fact that you're building a winner with a guy like Bogut on board than with somebody like Marvin Williams who is (at least) two years away from being a real contributor on a good Eastern Conference team. I know that alot of people love Williams (Ernie Grunfeld being chief among them) but I , for one, am not completely sold on him at this point. He hasn't shown one specific skill that he excels at and is, in my opinion, a whole lot of potential at this point in his career. He may be athletic enough to be a dominant small forward but I feel like he needs alot of improvement on his perimeter skills before he's ready to be an all-star caliber player in the NBA. Also, don't forget that he completely nutted up during the national championship game just a couple of months ago...I'm just saying.

Furthermore, the two hardest positions to fill in the the NBA are center and point guard and provided that TJ Ford can get back healthy this summer, then the Bucks would have both of those positions locked up for the next ten years or so. Basically, my feeling on who the Bucks should draft comes down to these two questions: How many quality small forwards are there in the NBA? How many quality centers are there in the NBA? In my opinion, a team with as many holes as the Bucks must draft the rarer of commodities if you are looking to win an NBA title at any point in the next 10-15 years. Truthfully, neither of these guys are sure things but I'd rather take my chances on a seven footer with skills and potential than a swingman with still developing skills and potential.

Billy D. and I prefer smooth, rich Colt 45.

Last night's Heat-Pistons game was riveting television on a number of levels...and the game was pretty good too. Stan Van Gundy gets a lot of credit for his enormous dong and his ability to spread a money shot over two, or even three, of his female co-stars faces but rarely do you hear people give him the kind of credit he deserves for the coaching job he's done each of the past two years. You couldn't pick two more different teams in personnel and style of play to coach than the last two versions of the Heat and yet he coached them both to just about the maximum of their ability. The reason I bring any of this up is that his decision to move Dwyane Wade (almost exclusively) to the point last night was fantastic. Damon Jones isn't the kind of point guard who needs the ball in his hands to be a factor, in fact he is much more effective spotting up for open threes. Wade, on the other hand, needs to be able to create his shot with both movement and the dribble. By moving Wade over to the point, Van Gundy allowed Wade to see double teams develop well in advance as well as the ability to push the tempo and find shots for himself and his teammates early on in the shot clock. It should be really interesting to see how Larry Browna nd the Pistons adjust to this wrinkle when the series resumes in two weeks.

Besides the game last night, their were quite a few happenings that raised an eyebrow on a seasoned veteran on playoff basketball viewing like myself, nothing earth shattering but interesting nonetheless. They are as follows:

-NBA referees make some of the latest foul calls that you could ever possibly imagine. It's begun to border on the ridiculous. These are the type of late foul calls that often end up sparking minor donneybrooks during pickup games in less than desirable neighborhoods. If it is a foul then just go ahead and make a damn call, don't wait to see if a shot went in or not. Whether or not a foul should be whistled should never be determined by the aftermath of the foul in question. It takes away from the feel of legitimacy of many of the referees' calls. In a league where conspiracy theories run rampant, this can't be considered a postive...can it?

- Have you seen the horrible Ford commercial where the young black man is showing off his new Ford 500 to a young black woman, only to have the car's actual owner (older more established black man) show up as the young man is forced to back pedal on why he's allowing somebody else to drive his car? Probably. It's not a very good commercial. My problem is that at one point in the commercial the young man describes the interior of the 500 as having "bookoo space"? Are you kidding me? People are still using the word "bookoo" in the urban communities of our nation? I may have not visiited the ghetto all that recently but I would be willing to bet my sweet virgin ass on the fact that the word "bookoo" isn't a regular part of the lingo of today's inner city youth. Jesus.

-Evidently Rasheed Wallace goes by the nickname "Rosco". Wait, it gets better. It's not because Rasheed has a love for Chicken and Waffles (who doesn't?) which may or may not be true. Rather, because none other than J. R. "Isaiah for the ladies" Rider said that Rasheed looked like a dude named Rosco. Mind you, not a specific dude named Rosco, just a dude named Rosco. What are the odds that Rasheed received this nickname from J.R. during a marathon blunt smoking session in one of their Portland area homes? 5-2? Even money? I swear that you can't even make up stories as good as the ones that the NBA supplies us with.

- During NBA Fastbreak last night when the highlights of the Pistons-Heat game were finishing up and Dwyane Wade was scoring his 40th point, Tim Legler uttered, "give him 40". To which Greg Anthony replied "give him an 8 Ball". There's nothing quite like a malt liquor reference on one of the networks in the Disney Television family to cap your night.

No title here...just like the Suns.

Just a quick post so that I can get to a few things that I wasn't able to address because of the amazing UEFA Cup Championships this afternoon. If you have even a passing interest in soccer of any kind, I encourage you to watch a replay of this classic as it is was as good and exciting a soccer match as you'll ever likely see.

Last night's Spurs-Suns game was a blast to watch. Two team who play very cohesively on the offensive end going back and forth all night long. It's really too bad that (a) Phoenix can't stop anybody when they need to and (b) Joe Johnson isn't going to be (completely) healthy for any of this series. As I said earlier this week, I believe that San Antonio would win this series even if Joe Johnson was playing (that whole no defense thing) but his absence basically seals the fate of Phoenix. Not only does Johnson give Phoenix another great shooter (3rd in 3 pt% in NBA this year) to spread the floor but he is also the backup point guard for the Suns when Nash needs a rest. Without him the Suns are forced to play Leandro Barbosa, who simply isn't ready for this level of competition. Perhaps even more important for Phoenix is that Johnson would be drawing the assignment of Manu Ginobilli during this series. Without Johnson to defend him, Phoenix has nobody who can give Ginobilli the kind of defensive challenge necessary to make his sometimes out of control style work against him and the rest of the Spurs. Purely as a basketball fan, I would've loved to see Johnson play in this series because the games (thus far) have been so damn entertaining and I would absolutely love to see this series go seven games. As it stands now, I can't see this thing going past five.

As for Manu Ginobilli, based on his performances thus far in the playoffs I'd have to say that Ginobilli is the first of the foreign imports with the neccessary skill and heart to be a true late game finisher, and he's using these playoffs to cement that school of thought. Most people (including me) would have pegged either Nowitzki or Stojakovic for this mantle a couple of years back. Yet, with Stojakovic completely dissappearing in the playoffs in each of the past three years and Nowitzki looking like a German version of Chris Webber (not in game but aversion to the spotlight in prime time situations) its safe to say that neither of those guys have the neccessary intangibles to be the kind of player who elevates his own game and those around them in the most crucial of moments. Just another reason to hate Argentinians.

As for tonight, I think that Miami recovers to win but only by pulling away in the fourth as the Pistons day/night off in South Beach ultimately catches up with them. I still don't see this series going past six games.

As I get ready to sit down and watch Game 2, I will leave you with a few words from today's UEFA Cup broadcast that you will never hear during an American sports broadcast...though I think it would be pretty sweet if the guys over at ESPN and TNT could work these games into a broadcast:

Guile: As in Robert Horry doesn't just hit big threes, he also defends the interior with the guile of a seasoned playoff veteran.

Aplomb: Amare Stoudemire finishes with APLOMB!!! (Can't you just hear Kevin Harlan screaming this? I thought so.)

Architect: Steve Nash was the architect of this textbook fastbreak, just watch how the ball never touches the ground.

Ubiquitous: Manu Ginobilli is absolutely ubiquitous on the defensive end.

Enjoy your evening.

Unbelieveable

Liverpool was just awarded a penalty kick and now have a chance to tie it up with this kick. The kick is ...No Good!!! Oh wait...the kicker banged it back in on the rebound!!! The Scottish announcer is going absolutely ape shit at this point. What a game!! Every American who hates soccer should have to sit down and watch this game. Man this is great drama...though I DO still miss the dead bodies.

Holy Shit!!!

Liverpool has come out int he second half and scored tow goals in the first ten minutes of play. The game is now 3-2 and the Liverpool Limies are going crazy in hte stands in Istanbul. I hear the fans in Constantinople are getting pretty rowdy as well.

It's ovaaa

Seriously, completely over with before halftime. After AC Milan got ahead with an early goal the match seemed to be evening up a bit and Liverpool looked like they might tie it up until they started bitching about a hand ball that really never happened. Of course, while the Liverpool players were pleading their case to the referees AC Milan was flying down to the other end of the pitch and scoring courtesy of two brilliant passes by Kaka and Shevchenko whihc led to the first of Hernan Crespo's two first half goals. At least I have the rest of the afternoon to myself.

If excuses really ARE like assholes, then I must be some type of mutated alien creature.

I made up some bullshit excuse about having a doctor's appt. this morning which has allowed me to get home just in time to watch the UEFA Cup Championship Match between AC Milan and Liverpool. I have no vested interest in either of these teams but I'll go ahead and throw my allegiance Liverpool's way since they are the least traditional power of these two teams. I really just cut out of work because I am a huge slacker and I enjoy watching elite level soccer matches from time to time. So I'm off to eat a little lunch and sit down for the first half of what will (hopefully) be a great match. I'l check back in at halftime. I'm not sure what excites me more, the fact that I'm off work at 2:45 in the afternoon or that I'm getting ot watch this match. Either way, its one hell of a way to spend a wednesday afternoon.

WOW!!! AC Milan just scored a goal in the first 54 seconds on a penalty kick from just outside the box. Liverpool really blew it on the defense of that kick, just didn't acount for any oncoming midfielders. That's it, I'm outta here.

Ehhhhh....

That is exactly how I felt last night when I saw the announcement come over the bottom line that the Magic were hiring Brian Hill as their new head coach. That's just splendid. They're going to go ahead and hire a guy who not only already coached this increasingly moribund franchise, but who was also run out of town by his own players in his previous coaching stint with the Magic. It's understandable since there aren't any viable candidates available for head coaching position this summer...way to aim low boys! I was actually okay with the decision to hire Dave Twardzik as the new G.M. if only because it got John Weisbrod out of basketball and back into something he knows better...like say "tough guys". My thought on Twardzik is that he is a basketball guy (what a revolutionary thought...hiring somebody with actual experience in the business) and he has paid his dues in a couple of different front office positions so we'd might as well give him a shot to prove himself. Hell, he can't be any worse that the Two Johns (Gabriel and Weisbrod).

To be honest, I sincerely hope that Twardzik can make some decent moves this summer and that I'm wrong about Hill. Hill's tenure was a VERY long time ago and he was a victim of Penny Hardaway being one of the biggest bitches of all time, so maybe I'll be surprised by all this guy can bring to the table next year. Currently, all I really know is that Hill never played in the NBA and that is often very hard for players to get past when a guy is berating their defense and questioning their manhood. Though neither Van Gundy had NBA experience going for them and both have made it work well thus far, so its not unprecedented.

Tonight is the NBA Draft Lottery so we should get a pretty good idea of what the Magic will be looking at come June. In a perfect world, the Magic would get Lyle Lovett level lucky and grab the #1 pick in the draft which they would then use to select Andrew Bogut. Now, don't take this to mean that I think Andrew Bogut is going to be a great player...I don't. What I do think is that Bogut's game would be the perfect complement to the ever emerging offensive repetoire of Dwight Howard. Just the thought of Bogut dumping down passes from the high post into Howard on the block practically drives me to self abuse. Alas, it is far more likely that the Magic will end up in the late lotery where they have to chose between some combination of unproven high schooler, unproven Euro, or proven but slightly flawed collegian. More on these possible additions once I get a good look at the draft order this evening.

As for last night, the Pistons did exaclty what I expected them to do on defense and Dwyane Wade reacted just about how I expected him to react. This could very ugly for the Heat if they can't figure out how to free Wade for more quality looks. The only reason that Miami was even in the game last night is because Eddie Jones was playing out of his aging mind. I'll bet my house that Eddie can't do anything like that on consistent basis in this series. The Heat just don't have the overall depth and talent to keep up with the Pistons for 48 minutes. Sorry.

With that said, it was an entertaining game to watch and I took a few notes throughout the evening's festivities...enjoy:

- Rasheed Wallace was absolutely on fire to begint he game last night. I know that Udonis Haslem isn't used to covering guys with legitimate three point range, but after Wallace knocks down a couple Udonis might want to think about getting a hand up on Rasheed when he's floating around the perimeter. As underrated as Haslem is, I think that his matchup with Wallace is easily the biggest mismatch of this series. Wallace has three inches on Haslem, is more athletic and has a much better overall skill set. Haslem has to get in Rasheed's head is he has any hope of evening him out. Now I don't know if that was his strategy but it looked like Haslem was trying to talk it up a little bit with Wallace early on which clearly didn't work out how Udonis had planned. By midway through the third quarter, Wallace was practically screaming at Haslem as he continued to knock down jumpers on the second year man.

-The second biggest mismatch in this series has got to be the Damon Jones vs. Chauncey Billups matchup. Billup is way too big and strong for Jones. He posted up Jones whenever he felt like it last night and his height really bothered Jones' outside shot. It's utterly amazing to me that so many teams just gave up on Billups within, literally, a couple of weeks of acquiring him early in his career.

- At one point last night the Heat had an lottery pick lineup on the floor in Shaq, Mourning, Eddie Jones, Dwyane Wade, and Keyon Dooling. At a completely different juncture, the Pistons had 4 lottery picks on the floor in Rasheed Wallace, McDyess, Hamilton and Billups. I have no idea why I found this interesting.

- Did anybody see Mourning pull an A-Rod while attempting to block Tayshaun Prince's shot? He just grabbed on the net and hung there while trying to get the block (to no avail) and then reacted with incredulity when he was whistled for the techinical. I know that all his peers seem to like the guy but he sure strikes me as a Grade A Dickhead. Between the constant self-promoting histrionics and his unbelievable refusal to play for, not one but, two franchises this year because "he wants to win a championship" there doesn't seem like a less likeable dude in the NBA today. Everybody wants to win a championship buddy, just because you have some kidney disease doesn't give you carte blanche to do whatever you please in an attempt to win that championship. You're a warrior and you work hard...buttons for you. You're still a huge dick.

- Their were an unusually large number of celebrities at the American Airlines Arena last night. I myself noticed Randy Moss, Jamie Foxx and Sean Combs (his name is NOT P. Diddy) sitting courtside by midway through the first half and yet, we never got the random celebrity shots during one of the extended timoeouts. It really doesn't matter to me one way or the other, but why didn't this happen? Is it only something that David Stern allows in New York and LA? Is there a special camera for this sort of thing that TNT crew didn't remember to pack?

Correction: Upon further review of yesterday's column, I need to amend something. I referred to the current programming on VH1 as "countdown shows" when in actuality they are far from countdown shows and would be much better classified as comedy/pop culture history hybrids. Sorry about the mix-up, my four beer lunch got the best of me.

Exactly HOW, is she like the wind?

And...I'm back, for good this time. The local cable mafia came by on Saturday afternoon and installed my new internet connection at the House of the Musings so we're all set and ready to go with the revamped, home edition of Mark's Musings. I'm not gonna lie to you (not in this particular instance, at least) and tell you that I'll be right back in my normal form here this week. As with most elite level athletes (or bloggers in this case) it will probably take me a few days to get my rhythm back, but when I do...ohhh baby! I'm not quite sure what that meant but it definitely sounded good...to me.

Anyway, there's quite a bit of sports related material to get to in the coming week so in an effort to slowly work my self back into shape, I'll keep it light today as I try and get myself back in game shape. Because, as anybody worth a salt will tell you...you just can't simulate game situations.

I didn't get to watch any of the Spurs-Suns tussle yesterday afternoon as I was off seeing the latest Star Wars movie with some friends of mine. The movie was strong to quite strong with some really good fight scenes and even a few unexpected twists and turns. It wasn't quite what it had been made out to be by some of the people that I'd spoken to, but that is what I get for hanging around with the guys and gals of the Brevard Community College Chemsitry Club...well that and a fresh new recipe for some killer meth.

I would've like to have seen the Suns-Spurs game but since the average NBA series takes at least two weeksI just figured I'd take a pass on Game 1, especially since the Suns were going to be without Joe Johnson again. I personally don't think that the Suns can win this series regardless of the circumstances but they are in real danger of being swept right out of the playoffs if Johnson can't get back to action. The Pistons-Heat kickoff tonight and I, for one, can't see this thing going past six games. Shaq isn't healthy and Detroit is able to throw waaay too many solid defenders at Dwyane Wade for him to be the dominant force that Miami is going to need him to be. It's not only that the Pistons have 4 or 5 above average perimeter defenders (Billups, Hamilton, Prince, Hunter) but also the fact that the shot blocking prowess of Detriot's interior defenders allows their perimeter guys to play even tighter than normal on the outside. Im my opinion, Miami doesn't have nearly enough offensive weapons to make Detroit adjust their defensive philosophy. Detroit is too well coached and cohesive a unit to be allowed to work within their comfort zone if you have any hopes of beating them in a seven game series.

One note from the weekend: In the pantheon of great actors turned singers, I had always regarded Don Johnson and his seminal smash hit "Hearbeat" as the standard bearer with Jack Wagner and whatever pile of crap he sung coming in a distant second. That is, until I was watching one of the 143 coutdown shows that are currently airing on VH1 24 hours a day. All this time I had been living a lie and it wasn't until Saturday afternoon that I finally realized how in the dark I'd been. Somewhere along the line I had blocked out the memory of "She's like the Wind" by none other than Patrick Swayze. When the song began blaring out of my TV's speakers, all the memories came flooding back in a wave of emotions and "Dirty Dancing" montages. Well, not really any montages but you get the picture. Anyway, I'd just like to use this space to issue an official public apology to Patrick Swayze.

Patrick: I'm sorry. Don Johnson couldn't carry your vocal chords with a forklift. I'm sure you already knew that. I did too...I just forgot. Please...find it in your heart and your gender bending mullet to forgive me. I am begging you!

Just another working schmoe...who hangs out with dudes from named Hector and Segio.

It's been a good two weeks since I've posted anything at all in this space and I'm sure that everybody has somehow been able to move on with their lives without my witty punditry, though I'm sure at least a few of you have awoken at night in a dead sweat over the thought of never hearing from me again...or not. Anyway, I've have left the wonderful world of Minor League Baseball for a much more lucrative and lazy position for an irrigation and landscaping company in beautiful Satellite Beach, Fl.

Basically, instead of ordering around interns who have just graduated college, I now order around Mexicans who have just jumped the border somewhere in Texas. It's a pretty good gig that allows me to enjoy all of my weekends (which are vastly underrated by the way) and I generally use about 1/5th of my total brain capacity on any given day. Which workls at well for me considering what some of my recreational activities are said to do to one's total brain mass.

With that said, there are some disadvantages to this new position...I can't sleep at my desk because, well, I don't have a desk. I also am unable to waste company time writing this blog since I am very rarely by a computer. On the flip side, not having to work until ten or eleven at night affords me the opportunity to watch more sports than I have since my time in Gainesville, FL.

What does this all mean to the future of my illustrious blog you ask? Well, it means that you're going to have to wait for another week or so before we get this thing up and running again. I finally broke down and bought a new computer this past weekend and am getting a new high speed connection setup in my house later on in the week. So for those of you who were elated by my absence on the web in the past two weeks, I am truly sorry...really I am. I wouldn't want to read this useless drivel either if I hadn't written it but you're going to have to buck up and get ready for a whole summer's worth of inane observations, drunk stories and immaturity beyond your wildest imagination. That's right, much like our man Costanza, it is now officially...THE SUMMER OF MARK!!!

Okay, maybe the summer of Mark is a little strong...how about we call it the summer of a regular 9 t0 5 job?

Seriously, go to hell.

There are two types of people in this world. Those who love Coke Slurpees and those who don't. I know where I stand on the subject and if you don't agree with me...well, then you can go to hell.

Just out of curiosity...how many rooms are in the house of Mutombo?

Quite an interesting evening on the hardwood last night, but not in the manner that one would have expected going into yesterday's festivities. First of all, Yao Ming played like one huge bitch...its that simple. I understand that everybody has bad games but he seemed to just go back into a shell after awhile and lose all sense of aggresiveness. Doug Collins was harping on the lack of touches that Yao was receiving on the block (a constant problem for him) but as much of the blame for that has to fall on him as anybody else. He just wasn't working hard enough on the block to establish position. I'm sure that he could have gotten a few more touches down low but if you're not actively working to establish post position, then you don't REALLY want the ball. It says alot about where he was mentally that Jeff Van Gundy didn't even think about taking out 86 year old Dikembe Mutombo. Granted, Mutombo played fantastic and brought delight to thousands when he broke out the finger wag (did you see Bob Sura and other assorted Rocket reserves start doing the finger wag as well after Mutombo's block on Jason Terry? Pure Hilarity.) but I'm sure he could've used a blow at some point in the fourth and Van Gundy didn't so much as look at Yao. Sadly, this probably had as much to do with Yao's lack of confidence in himself as it did with Van Gundy's waning confidence in the big Chinaman. I know, I know...Chinaman is not the preferred nomenclature, then again I don't care either. All in all, I was glad to see the Rockets win, if only because I feel like this series deserves to go seven games.

Of course, earlier in the night Paul Pierce lost his goddamned mind. Anybody with half a brain will admit that Jamal Tinsley's flop was worthy of the English Premier League but, regardless of that, Pierce had absolutely no business pulling such an immature and irrational stunt. At least he fessed up in the post game press conference and said as much when he called the play "boneheaded". Yeah, that pretty much sums it up. Oh yeah, what the hell was Pierce wearing on his face during the press conference? I heard that it was worn in jest but that still doesn't explain anything. Was it for his facial bruises from Jamal Tinsley's slap? Did it signify his mental choke job? I need to know...something.

Neither game had much else to offer though I should mention the toughness that is being displayed by Jamal Tinsley by coming back for the end of this series. Not only is he clearly not 100% (who is is the playoffs?) but the more impressive factor, at least in my mind, is that he has been playing big minutes and playing them late into the game. Anybody who's ever played any level of sports will tell you how hard it is to try and regain some semblance of rhythm to your game after being out for three months. To come back and provide the kind of spark that he has at this point in the season says an awful lot about this guy's character and talent. Something interesting to remember about Tinsley and what he means to the Pacers is that when Rick Carlisle took over in Indiana, Tinsley was his third string point guard.

Beyond that, there were a couple of things that stood out to me last night.

- With about two minutes left in the Mavs-Rockets game last night Doug Collins said, "I'd like to send a shout out..." The actual shout out and who he sent it to are inconsequential to my point. Which is...Doug Collins should never, ever be allowed to send anybody a shout out. For Christ's sake, you're over 60 years old! If you want to acknowledge somebody then say that you would "like to say hello" or that you're "sending out your best wishes to..." Just don't send a fucking shout out. You're too old and too white so just quit.

- Until recently I had been relatively unaware of Andrew Toney other than knowing that he played (and did so well) in the NBA. Like many in my generation (I suspect), Toney had slipped through the cracks of our collective basketball conscience through a combination of both the timing of his career and his status as a player whose reputation resided just outside the realm of the truly elite of his generation. Yet with Bill Simmons (among others) constantly comparing Ben Gordon to him, my interest had begun to be piqued. Then, last night Doug Collins told a story about playing for the Sixers and having to go into the Boston Garden for a Game Seven. The basic premise of the story is that Andrew Toney went into the Boston Garden and single handedly took apart the Celtics while leading the Sixers to victory. Well, after this my curiosity could take it no longer and I decided to do some research on Andrew Toney. If you already know all about Andrew Toney then don't bother reading on, but if you were left somewhat in the dark like myself then here is what I've found:

Height: 6'3" Weight: 178 lbs.

Drafted: 1980 8th overall by Philadelphia out of Southwestern Louisiana (now La.-Lafayette)

Career: 1980-1988, Two All Star Appearances ('83, '84)

Career Averages:
Regular Season: 15.9 ppg 4.2 apg
Playoffs: 17.4 ppg 4.5 apg

Nickname: The Boston Strangler

Here are a few quotes about Toney from some of his comtemparies:

"Toney was amazingly strong, he and Moses were the only ones on the team that could post me up!" -Charles Barkley

"I thought he (Toney) was the best player on the team when I got here. We had Bobby Jones, Moses Malone, and Julius Erving but the only one I was in awe of was Andrew." - Charles Barkley

"He's the greatest clutch player I've ever seen. The hell with Jerry West!" - Pat Riley

"He was the absolute best I've ever seen at shooting the ball at crucial times. We had nobody who could come close to stopping him. Nobody." - Larry Bird

Those stats tell you plenty, but the quotes from NBA legends really let you know how special a player that Andrew Toney must've been. Evidently his career was cut short by stress fractures in both feet and a subsequent battle over the legitimacy of those injuries with Sixers owner Harold Katz. The feud between Katz and Toney became so bitter that Katz requested that the NBA drug test Toney (the test came back negative). Toney was so incensed by his treatment that he vowed never to set foot at a Sixers game as long as Katz was the owner. Toney now lives in Georgia and has a son who will be attending the University of Georgia on a basketball scholarsip in the fall. I certainly won't be rooting for his son anytime soon but I will be scanning ESPN Classic and NBA TV for any games involving Andrew Toney.

Wizards-Bulls tonight and I'm pulling for the Wiz to close it out, though it won't affect my night in any way, shape or form if this thing goes seven games as well. I'll tell you what will affect my night though...the copious amounts of alcohol that I'll be ingesting from about 10 PM on.

That was fun...can we do it again tommorrow night?

Evidently, the Basketball gods read my post of a couple days ago and decided to shut me up for good with a certifiable classic between the Wizards and Bulls. Well, let me be the first to say, "THANK YOU".

If you weren't absolutely entranced by the end of that game last night then you just don't care much for playoff basketball. Nobody can blame you if you lost interest in the first half or even midway through the third quarter and, shit, I even turned on my shower with about a minute left in regulation and was forced to leave it running for the better part of twenty minutes. However, for those that did stay tuned in you were treated to one of the the greatest comebacks in NBA playoff history as well as a buzzer beater that will go down in Wizards and First round history.

One of the really amazing things about last night's game is that even though the Wizards were clearly feeling the pressure at many different points of the fourth quarter (doing everything to lose: from taking bad, quick shots to absolutely freezing on the foul line) they kept doing just enough where you would think, "Okay, that should be enough to hold the Bulls off." I must've said that to myself at least five times during the course of the Bulls' comeback. Even Scott Skiles had begun to concede victory when he inserted Jannero Pargo into the game for the purposes of fouling and shooting desperation threes. It just so happens that Jannero Pargo is the greatest garbage time shooter in the NBA today...or so it would seem based on his last two games. Of course, none of Pargo's threes would have made much difference if not for the entire Wizards team puling a collective Nick Anderson late in the fourth quarter. Antawn Jamison couldn't have looked less comfortable at the free throw line if he had been forced to watch his mother use a double ended dildo while shooting those foul shots. Even Larry Hughes (who carried Washington) and Gilbert Arenas were less than eager to be shooting free throws during crunch time. After Kirk Hinrich nailed the tying three pointer, you had to feel like the Bulls would find a way to win in overtime. I even began to think that the series was over for, all intents and purposes, as the Wiz would've been hard pressed to recover from such a devastating loss in time for Friday's game in Washington.

Of course, all of that was rendered moot when Gilbert Arenas hit one of the most (cue Rick James singing voice) coldblooded shots that you'll ever see. I actually said , "you'd better get a shot off" as Arenas was dribbling at the top of the key. It really seemed like he wasn't totally aware of the clock at one point when he was still 40 feet from the basket with about 3.5 seconds left. Instead, Gilbert had the clock timed perfectly and set himself up for an all or nothing shot that would, at worst, mean the Wizards were going to OT. It's tough to put into perspective how gutsy and tough a shot that was (of course, I'll try). Not only did Arenas have to get the shot off on one of the better defensive point guards in the league (who did a great job defending the shot), built he also had to deal with 7"1' Tyson Chandler flying out to contest the shot as well. Furthermore, when you consider that Arenas only had 14 points at the time and had shot rather horribly all game long it becomes even more impressive that he would have the confidence to take such a shot. While I'm passing out kudos (praise, not the chocolatey granola bars), let me take my hat off to Eddie Jordan. No, not for being unbelievably stubborn and refusing to match up with Chicago's three guard lineup but for realizing that, regardless of the night he was having, Arenas is his best player when it comes down to creating space for his own shot and allowing him to do what he does best, which is go one-on-one.

If you can't tell, last night really got me pumped for the remainder of the playoffs and especially for both of Friday night's games. Now that I've gotten my armchair analysis fix, I'll leave you with a few more things that I got to thinking about last night:

-If the Bulls can figure out how to defend adequately with Hinrich and Gordon as their starting guards, they are totally set for the next 10-12 years.

-Arenas and Hughes have a legit shot at being the best backcourt in the league for quite some time. Their versatility complements each other perfectly.

-TBS should really think about doing some type of original mini-series, actually make it a six-week television event. They could advertise it constantly during the NBA playoffs. Nobody's done a mini-series on the Old West...maybe they should think about doing something about that?

-It's far too late to go back and I doubt either the player or organization would want to, but Larry Hughes would now be everything that the Sixers wanted him to be as a backcourt mate to Allen Iverson. He can defend bigger guards, play the point, play off the ball, and also share the scoring load with Iverson. Not to mention that Hughes and Iverson are the two best passing lane defenders in the game today.

- Hopefully this series is the beginning of a long and storied rivalry between these two teams. It all depends on this summer. If the Wiz can lock up Larry Hughes and the Bulls can take care of Chandler and Curry then we could be in store for another 5-8 years of playoff battles between these two talented and unbelievably young teams.

- Does anything sum up the clusterfuck that is the Golden State Warriors front office as much the fact that they had Arenas, Hughes, and Jamison at the same time and let all of them go for next to nothing? I mean, you have the good sense to acquire and develop these players only to let them move on without getting anything of near equal value in return. It's amazing that Gary St. Jean could get hired to run a janitorial supply company, much less an NBA team.

- Does anybody else think that Chris Duhon is going to be starting for the Hawks or the Bobcats next year? I'd be amazed if Chicago can afford to re-sign him.

- He's young but Andres Nocioni is already among the greatest floppers of all time. He even managed to flop, and draw offensive foul calls, on two seperate plays where he was being screened last night. Prompting Steve Kerr to comment that the Argentinian National Team must have a flopping coach.

- Jared Jeffries looks like he is becoming a consumate stat sheet stuffer. He doesn't do anything great but he does alot of things well and is more than happy to do alot of the little things while getting his points off of broken plays and offensive rebounds. He'll probably never be good enough to start on a championship contender but he could certainly be a great second unit guy on an elite team.

- The Wizards would be down right scary and the prohibitive favorite in the Eastern Conference for the next decade or so if Kwame Brown hadn't been absolutely destroyed by Michael Jordan and Doug Collins. Can you imagine this team in two years if Kwame wasn't a shattered young man (confidence and attitude wise) from his early years in Washington? Even if Kwame only developed into a fringe All-Star level player, the Wizards would be absolutely stacked for the foreseeable future. He definitely has the talent and physical ability to be at least that good. Who knew that Michael Jordan would have such a lasting negative impact on this franchise?

Scott...Stop sweating my techinque!!

When the playoffs first began, there were two separate series that I was most interested in. Those two were the Wizards-Bulls and the Mavericks-Rockets, respectively. Unfortunately for me, I have been rendered unable to watch most of the Wizards-Bulls series due to a confluence of my horrible work schedule and the NBA’s equally awful decision to broadcast every other game in this series on national television. As a result, even the games that I’d be able to watch between the Wiz and Bulls end up on Comcast and I end up having to watch Stuart Scott show me five highlights of a playoff game.

Which brings me to yet another beef with ESPN. Wouldn’t it be a good idea to give a little priority to NBA playoff games over early May baseball games? By priority, I don’t only mean the time in which you show these highlights, but also using this time to show a more extended recap of the games highlights. You absolutely cannot convince me that a White Sox-Royals matchup deserves as much air time as a Game 4 or 5 of the first round of the NBA playoffs. Instead of realizing a need for a change in format, ESPN and its producers just plug in the same amount of highlights from each game like they would for a Cavs-Knicks game in mid-February. Just ridiculous.

Sadly, mediocrity is what most of us have come to expect from ESPN and it doesn’t look like change is coming anytime soon.

As for the Wiz-Bulls, from what I can gather this has been a less than exciting series with each team playing exceedingly well at home while their counterparts play predictably tight during their first playoff forays onto the road. It doesn’t seem like either team has been able to match the others intensity early in games and, as a result, we’re ending up with a lot of comebacks that fall just short. I picked the Wiz to win this series and I still think that they will. Simply put, Chicago lacks the offensive versatility to consistently make the Wiz pay for their sometimes porous defense. With that said, Chicago’s defense had to leave a lot to be desired last night since Juan Dixon scored 35. Who was guarding him, Joe Forte? Hopefully I’ll get to watch these last three games and, more importantly, I’m hopeful that we can get at least two legitimate nail biters (or barn burners, whichever your preference) out of these last three games.

As for the Mavs-Rockets series, I have been able to watch most of these games and they couldn’t be more intriguing to me. The chess game of matchups that is being played between Avery Johnson and Jeff Van Gundy is made for true NBA fans because, as we all know…the NBA is ALL about matchups (Sorry…Hubie Brown and Dick Stocktom just wrestled my keyboard away from me for a minute there.) Watching the Rockets continually exploit the Mavs lack of size late was unbelievably frustrating to see. Avery Johnson was basically giving up a layup or two free throws every time down because he refused to put Erick “Second Best Center in the NBA” Dampier back in. If it wasn’t for both McGrady and Yao (to a greater extent) missing a bunch of foul shots late, the media would be killing Avery’s lack of adjustments right now. Here are a few other things I’ve noticed while watching this series:

-Josh Howard is doing a very good job of hassling McGrady. He isn’t going to keep McGrady from getting his shot but he is making him take a lot of tough shots that are out of McGrady’s comfort zone.
- I like how the Rockets were running a double team (with Yao) at Dirk last night and forcing other players to make shots. I’ll always take my chances with someone other than Dirk shooting the last shot.

-It’s encouraging to see Dirk get what proved to be the winning bucket on something other than a jumper. He is too dangerous an all around player to be SO dependent on his jumpshot. A play like that could be what makes the proverbial light go off in his head and convinces him to become more aggressive on the offensive boards as well as post up situations.

-Losing Keith Van Horn hasn’t hurt the Mavs all that much. If only because now you have a court full of guys who are comfortable with the ball late in the game (Stackhouse, Terry, Dirk, Finley, even Daniels and Howard) instead of four and one guy who thinks he’s playing hot potato.

-Jon Barry and David Wesley are basically the same player. They both plant themselves at the three point line and wave their arms while a teammate dribbles and/or drives.

- Jason Terry isn’t a very good point, because he’s too much of a natural scorer, but without him the Mavs wouldn’t have won a game in this series. Not only has he hit some big shots in the fourth quarter, but can you really imagine Devin Harris playing 35 minutes a game in this series? Or Marquis Daniels handling the point guard duties? Ugh.

-What does the “MFFL” on Mark Cuban’s shirts mean?

- NBA referees are awful. How can the crew of playoff refs have missed Michael Finley’s steal when he smacked the ball away from Jon Barry while standing OUT OF BOUNDS? You have a ref stationed on the baseline for just such plays and you’re telling me that nobody saw the play or, at least, thought it looked odd? There is no excuse for that level of ineptitude when you are at, supposedly, the height or your profession.

- Has anybody noticed how much more “black” the highlight accompaniments are for Scott Van Pelt when he’s teamed with Stuart Scott? Hey! You handle all the on location golf coverage for ESPN, nobody is buying the hip, urban schtick so give it a damn rest already.

Robert Horry discovered St. Augustine?

During the fourth quarter of the Spurs-Nuggets game last night as Bob Horry was finishing off a personal 8-0 run that put San Antonio back up 10 on the Nuggets, Brent Musberger said, "Robert Horry is the Ponce de Leon of NBA players." Huh? What? Is Robert on a quest for the fountain of youth that we're not aware of? Was Ponce de Leon a prolific clutch shooter during his time? I'm confused. Somebody please explain this to me.

I wish all of these guys had thrown their freshly purchased jewelry out of hotel windows.

As I was watching the Sonics-Kings game last night and crying inside over the thought of John Weisbrod trading Cuttino Mobley and ruining the Magic's once promising season, I began to think further about Mobley and how he has to be one of the greatest second round picks of recent memory. This, inturn, got me thinking about the best second round picks of recent vintage. It's a longer list than I had originally expected with some very quality players on it, even a few stars. Here then are my picks for the first and second teams of the All-Second Round Squad:

First Team:

PG: Nick Van Exel
SG: Manu Ginobilli
SF: Rashard Lewis
PF: Carlos Boozer
C: Antonio Davis

Second Team:

PG: Gilbert Arenas
SG: Cuttino Mobley
SF: Ruben Patterson
PF: P.J. Brown
C: Mark Blount

First off, I have to apologize for putting Mark Blount on the list but the amount of serviceable NBA centers who have been drafted in the second round is predictably small, it basically came down to Mark Blount or Calvin Booth, which is never, ever a good choice to have to make. Also, I had to make an executive decision when it came to the point guard position on the first team. I believe that Gilbert Arenas will end up having a better NBA career than Nick Van Exel but it was hard for me to put him ahead of Nick the Quick based on the career that Nick has had up to this point...and I've had a pretty serious man crush (ngs) on Mr. Van Exel for over a decade now and I'd be lying if I said that it didn't play a role in this as well.

There are actually far more decent centers in the NBA who weren't drafted at all than there are decent second round centers, with Ben Wallace and Brad Miller being the two most obvious examples. Feel free to examine and criticize my picks in the comments section. Of course, you'll be wrong and I'll openly rip your choices but don't let that stop you.

Make up your own dam title...I'm waaay too important to be bothered with things like that.

I have been extra busy today with some tasks that are going to change the everyday details of my life in a pretty major way, as well as the pages of Drunk and Stupid, but we'll get to that stuff early next week. For those of you guessing out there. Yes, I did have yet another illegitimate child. Yet, since I wasn't taking care of any of my other babies, this one will be no different and has nothing to do with the changes which are fast approaching. The only major effect that this latest bastard will have on my life is that I'll once again be retaining the services of Vernon Maxwell's former attorney.

Moving on, I had to work a home game last night which finished up in just under 2.5 hours, thereby allowing me to catch the end of the Nets-Heat tussle as well as the entire Mavs-Rockets game. Since we're getting close to another exciting Manatee game at Space Coast Stadium, I'll supply my observations on last night's activities in the ever familiar random thoughts format.

- Is there any possible way for a white man to look goofier than when they put on basketball jersies over their dress shirt (this means you Roger Clemens)? Oh. I've just been informed that if said white man executes a high five in said outfit, that causes him to look much goofier than if he were to just wear the jersey-dress shirt combo. That makes sense.

-Can we all agree that any sign which incorporates any incarnation of the phrase, "Houston, We have a problem" should be outlawed? Furthermore, can we also agree that any person who breaks this law will immediately be escorted from the arena in which they have displayed this sign? I didn't think that anybody would have a problem with that.

- Who told Vince Carter that he had to fallaway on every single jumper that he took? Seriously. I want an answer on this because I'm just having a real hard time imagining Dean Smith demonstrating this technique in practice.

- Nenad Kristic sure seems like he's going to be a player in the NBA in a couple of years. The Nets would be wise to sign him to an extension this off-season. If they wait until next summer, they're going to end up paying him at least twice as much per season. On a related note, Nenad's nickname is "Curly". I don't know the origin of this moniker and, frankly, I don't care. I do have one question though...Can we get Curly on the back of his jersey like "Candy" or "Chili"?

- When are opposing players going to figure out that Jason Terry can barely even dribble with his left hand? It's ridiculous, he's been a starting guard in the NBA for like five years now and nobody closes out on his right hand. Coincidentally, the first person who ever caused me to pull my hair out with frustration over this sort of thing was none other than Terry's current coach, Avery Johnson. During the prime of David Robinson's career I used to sit and scream at my TV, "He's going left, HE'S GOING LEFT!!" everytime that Johnson got his hands on the ball. Of course, it never worked and Avery would slice through the lane and bank home a lefty floater as the announcers proceeded to praise Avery's ability to penetrate.

-Avery Johnson looks like a Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtle...except for whole being green thing.

- Can the Rockets hire a coach to teach Yao Ming how to jump when somebody's comes flying down the lane? Jesus son, you're 7'6", block a shot already. On two seperate occasions last night, Yao stood motionless in the paint as Devin Harris and Marquis Daniels, respectively, attempted to drive the lane. On both occasions Yao flopped (unsuccessfully) in an attempt to get the charge instead of trying to block the shot of someone at least a foot shorter than him. I understand wanting to stay out of foul trouble, but if you're being called for fouls anyway then you might as well try and intimidate somebody, right?

- Udonis Haslem had 13 and 19 rebounds last night. Now, I know that playing with Shaq is a huge advatange for his teammates (especially Power Forwards) but its absolutely amazing to me that not one NBA team saw fit to take a flyer on this kid coming out of college. Just for the record, here is a list of the power forwards who were selected in the second round instead of Udonis in 2002: Robert Archibald, Carlos Boozer, David Andersen, Lonny Baxter, Sam Clancy, Chris Owens, Peter Fehse (?), Darius Songalia, Luis Scola, Randy Holcomb, and the immortal Corsley Edwards (now available for weddings and bar mitzvahs). I'll admit that I was surprised with the amount of decent big men who came out of this draft's second round but you're out of your mind if you don't think that Haslem should've been selected in this draft.

One last NFL draft tidbit: Has any JUCO stud ever made a worse decision when choosing a college then Brandon Jacobs did two years ago when he trasnferred to Auburn. A JUCO running back choosing Auburn at that time is the college football equivalent of your average man choosing to be the third man in a gangbang scene with John Doe and Mr. Marcus. Not that I know who those guys are or anything. I've just, uh...heard that those are the names of some well known porn actors.

As for tonight, I'm really not interested in any of the games, save for maybe the Sonics-Kings and that's only because both of those teams play about as much defense as your average intramural team. Regardless of my ties to each game(or lack thereof), it will be nice to have some meaningful (somewhat) games to watch while I'm working myself into a drunken stupor late on this evening. Anyway, enjoy your weekends and as always...drink more than you think you should.

You'll get nothing and like it!!

Thats right, just like Spaulding Smails at the snack bar, you aren't getting a damn thing from me today. Because I'm too busy at work? Not a chance. Well technically, I AM busy and I AM at work but that is nothing than more than a mere coincidence. I finally joined the new millenium and went out and bought an iPod today. As a result, I've been busy transferring songs to it for the better part of the late afternoon.

If you were thinking about getting one of these newfangled contraptions, I highly recommend it. It is, at once, amazing in its technological abilities and unbelievably easy to use. Even my Mom who once asked what the "track" button on her CD palyer was for would be able to figure this thing out.


Well, I hate to be like the deadbeat Dad who takes his kid out for ice cream only to drop him back off at his Mom's house before he's even finished the cone...but thats pretty much exaclty what I'm gonna do. Now get out of my car and watch the leather seats while you're at it! Daddy has a big date with his secretary tonight.

Time to lick the donuts...

Like most NBA fans, I've been aware that Gilber Arenas is a nutjob for quite some time now. I guess it all started to come to light during Arenas' second season in the NBA, right around the time he started dropping 30 on people on a weekly basis while he was in the process of winning the NBA's Most Improved Player Award (and a hefty free agent contract from the Washington Wizards). Well as I was wasting copious amounts of company time today, I came across an article from Sunday's Washington Post which only served to round out my knowledge of Gilbert's overall wackiness while also helping to further develop my love (ngs) for the World's Most Famous Arenas. Here, now, are some highlights from the article for your reading pleasure:

-Gilbert is of Cuban descent (his grandfather) which immediately makes him at least 30% more crazy than any black NBA player. Personally, with a last name like Arenas, I would've guessed Lithuanian.

- Arenas wears size 13 shoes on his size 14.5 feet. Why? Well because he doesn't want his feet to look too big, Duh. I think we all know that any shoe size over 13 is just ridiculously large and definitely something to be embarrassed over.

- Gilbert's pregame superstitions include always listening to the same music in the same order while always parking in the same parking spot, all pretty standard stuff. Some of his other rituals include always eating Boston Market(?) as a pregame meal and tickling the armpit of Antawn Jamison before the opening tip. Read that last sentence again. Under no circumstances can I ever imagine why I would tickle the armpit of a grown man...okay, one. I can think of one scenario but there's no way in hell that I could ever think of another.

- After not being selected in the first round on the NBA Draft, Gilbert was so distraught that he threw his newly purchased jewelery out the window of the hotel that he was staying in. Shrewd move. Coincidentally, when I didn't get the raise I was expecting I ALSO threw my platinum chain and charm (Pac-Man, if you must know) out of the window...of my office.

-Finally, there's this quote from former teammate Troy Murphy which pretty much sums up Gilbert's personality for all, "They used to make him get doughnuts, a rookie thing. I would come in early and he'd be putting baby powder [as if it was powdered sugar] on the doughnuts or licking them and putting them back in the box. He would look at me and laugh whenever someone would eat one. That's when I shut down eating doughnuts."

I think that I speak for everyone when I say...Gilbert, you are an inspiration to us all.

Draft Thoughts, Part II

I'm back from yesterday with a few more thoughts on the NFL Draft and other assorted topics. None of the NBA playoff games were especially exciting to me so we'll just get right into today's discussion.

- Evidently somebody in the Jaguars war room has a thing for big, physical, raw receivers. First they totally reach for Reggie Williams last year (with the expected results) and then they go after Matt Jones with the 21st pick this year. The 21st pick was too high for Jones regardless of the team's situation at receiver. Yet, when you are as in need of a proven receiver/route runner as the Jags are, why in god's name would you use your first round pick on a guy who won't be productive for at least two years? It makes no sense. Don't you want to give Byron Leftwitch somebody who was at least a proven college receiver to throw to? I realize that their weren't a ton of options at the 21st pick but you may as well have traded down if you wanted Jones that bad. He was probably going to be there for a few more picks you know.

- Although the Bucs didn't get either of the guys that I wanted in the second round I was still pleased with their draft. Barrett Ruud was an extremely smart and productive LB for Nebraska and I'm sure that he'll fit right in with Monte Kiffin's D, though if they were going to select a MLB I would've rather have seen them select Georgia's Odell Thurman. Alot of people outside of SEC country aren't very familiar with Thurman because he didn't get nearly the pub of many of the other more media friendly Bulldogs (read: David Pollack and David Greene) but he was often the best player on the field for Georgia over his two years there. He has some issues with his character and overall intelligence but was a damn beast while at Georgia and should start for Cincinnatti from day one. Getting Stanford TE Alex Smith in the third round was also a very nice pickup. He struggles in his pass protection some but should really have a great opportunity to be an impact player int he passing game for early on in Tampa. Somehow I don't think the Bucs are building any game palsn around Anthony Becht this off-season. Finally, I really liked that the Bucs took a chance on WR Larry Brackins of Pearl River Community College. Brackins is a physical freak who will need the Bucs to have some patience with his mental development and maturity but he could really end up being a steal for the Bucs.

-A few other teams that I thought had good drafts were as follows:

Cardinals: Tough to pass up on Rodgers, but we all know that Denny Green hates QBs so it really wasn't that surprising. After that the Cards picked up as many as six guys who could start for them within a year or two.

Ravens: Getting proven playmakers like Mark Clayton and the very underrated Dan Cody made this draft a success from early on.

Dolphins: As much as it pains me to say this, Saban and Co. did a heck of a job plugging holes and assembling talent. When you can pick up three studs along the lines of Ronnie Brown, Matt Roth, and Channing Crowder in the first three rounds, you're doing well. Follow those picks up with an underrated corner like Travis Daniels and you're really doing big things. With all the talk about how Corey Webster slipped during his senior year at LSU, many people forgot just how good Travis Daniels was two years ago as well. He and Webster were the best corner combo in the nation two years ago and were both really hurt by an inconsistent LSU pass rush last year. Most people saw Daniels as a second rounder last year and the Phins were able to pick him up in the fourth. One of the best drafts that the Dolphions have had in many years.

I am not ready to say that the Chargers had a great draft (you've heard my thoughts on Merriman and I think they reached a bit for Castillo) but they used to middle round picks to select two palyers who could both end up being huge impact/role players on their offense in a couple of years. The first is Darren Sproles who will allow LaDanian Tomlinson to get off the field every now and then on third down while also making an immediate impact as a return man on special teams. With the lack of quality depth at WR, you may also see Sproles lining up in the slot in four and five WR sets next year. This brings me to the second player, Northern Colorado's Vincent Jackson. Most people have heard of Vincent Jackson as ESPN ran a story on him early in the college football season. He is a 6'5" 240+ lb receiver with 4.5 speed and enormous hands. Predictably, he is very raw and needs alot of work on his ability to read defenses and his route running, but his potential is through the roof. I really like this pick. Jackson may never pan out but with a team that doesn't have alot of holes, taking a chance on a possible future Pro Bowler in round four is always a shrewd move.

-Pittsburgh selecting Heath Miller was a very smart pick. Not only is Miller a proven commodity but he will also provide a security blanket for Ben Roethlisberger for many years to come. The option of Miller in the passing game will prove to be invaluable in the overall development of Big Ben as a passer. Pittsburgh definitely had bigger needs at corner but didn't panic and went ahead and selected the best player available, which was also at a need position, and still wound up getting a very good and physical corner in Bryant McFadden. Both of these guys will start for a very talented Steeler team next year.

That's all I 've got for now. I apologize for the lack of time sensitivity with this review but its been a crazy couple of days around here, what with me trying to figure out how I'm going to feed my family and all.

Note: By "feed my family", I mean afford the booze and various cable sports packages that make my life somewhat bareable.

What, you've never slept in a nightclub?

Man oh Man! That Rockets-Mavericks game was a ball to watch last night. I can't remember being that into a first round playoff game that didn't involve the Magic since high school. It's not that the game had earth shattering implications to it (though the Mavs have made it VERY hard on themselves now), it was more that both teams were playing at a very high level of intensity AND offensive efficiency. Not exactly a common combination in the NBA these days. Shit, the score at the end of the 3rd quarter was 88-84 which is more than the finals of a ton of playoff games from recent years. The fourth quarter didn't dissapoint as Nowitzki broke out of a two game slump to knock down some big shots and give the Mavs a chance to win. They would've too, if Tracy McGrady hadn't drilled and 18 footer with two seconds left. Totally clutch, as he had been all game. I almost forgot how unbelievably talented McGrady is and how much he can dominate a game when he plays with passion and a purpose. I guess I shouldn't have forgotten how supremely talented he is but can you really blame me? It has been over almost three years since he's displayed any sort of competitive fire.

One last thing: I really like when coaches let their guys go ahead and bring the ball down (without calling a timeout) for the last shot. If you have a point guard or a wing who can handle and shoot it, you should always do this. By not calling a timeout not only are you not allowing the defense to setup but you are also creating a situation that is tantamount to a pickup game atmosphere where a player can simply go down with a head of steam and create a shot (for him or a teammate) by going one-on-one. Great move by Jeff Van Gundy to have the confidence in McGrady's ability to let go and not overcoach the situation.

After last night, I am truly pumped for the rest of the playoffs, though none of tonight's games do much for me. It's looking like a Pedro-Smoltz kind of night at the Home of the Musing's.

The NFL Draft had plenty to talk about so in the interest of wasting as little time as possible I'll go ahead and give you my thoughts in a random ramble that everyone can enjoy:

- I'm not afraid to say that Romeo Crennel is just plain old cute. Did you see him smile when he was being interviewed by Berman? The man is like a human teddy bear. My friend John Van Vleet thinks that we should make up orange shirts that have a huge picture of a smiling Crennel on them (similar to the shirt worn by PacMan Jones) with the words "Teddy Bear" on the back and sell them in Cleveland. I'm slightly ashamed to says this but...I agree.

-Everytime that the ESPN cameras showed Mike Williams on saturday he was yelling and gesturing at unseen people. What was he doing while waiting to be selected, trading commodities on the Tokyo exchange? I still don't know what he was doing during these live look-ins but once he was drafted, he was immediately surrounded by a plethora of school children during his interview with ESPN. So my guess is that Mike is involved in the enslaving and selling of young school aged children. He had to pay the bills somehow over the last year, I guess.

- My highlight of the day may have been the selection of Adam "Pac-Man' Jones by the Titans. Not only was he wearing a shirt with a picture of himself but he was also sporting a diamond and platinum Pac-Man charm. To top it off, it also appeared as if Mr. Jones had rented out a nightclub for his draft party. I like that, don't invite everybody over to your Mom's house on saturday morning, just have the party at a nightclub and you can sleep their the night before the draft. No fuss, no muss.

- Both of the University of Florida players who were slected in the first four rounds went far lower than their talent would indicate but I suspect that both will (eventually) be very pleased with where they landed. Channing Crowder will step right into Morlon Greenwood's vacated WLB spot while learning his craft from two future hall-of-famers in Junior Seau and Zach Thomas. If Crowder can just soak up all their knowledge and stay healthy he has a chance to be a perennial Pro Bowl player in that system. As for Ciatrick Fason, he got absolutely screwed by the NFL's obsession with measureables and ended up going about two rounds lower than he deserved. This is a guy who led the SEC in rushing despite averaging less than 20 carries a game. I don't care how you slice those numbers, that is impressive. Yet, he too should be happy about landing in Minnesota, a place where there is no consensus #1 back. My prediction for Fason is that he is starting by mid season and will universally be regarded as one of the steals of the entire 2005 Draft.

Speaking of stealing, the staff here at the stadium has a free dinner scheduled at Outback tonight and I am already late so I am gonna cut this review short and finish the rest up tommorrow morning.

I'll take a summer of unemployment checks for $200, Alex.

I know I always use the really lame excuse that I'm too busy to write ( I DO have a job to do...poorly of course, but the point is that I have to do it nonetheless) but today is yet another example of this happening and I'm going to lean on old faithful one more time. Basically, my office just received a call from an Orlando area TV station asking for our thoughts on the team being sold and it's probable move to Orlando. I'd say our thoughts are best captured by this phrase, "Steve Holt is a bastard! He doesn't even know who his father is ."

Now you may be currently muttering something about that phrase having nothing to do with any sort of sale of a minor league baseball team and...you'd be right. The problem is that this phone call was the first that anybody had heard of the team being sold. Not exactly the way that you want to find out about the possible loss of your place of employment, though I would bet there is no good way to come upon news of this nature. Anyway, that's what has caused me to be so delinquent with any analysis of the NFL Draft or the brand spanking new NBA playoffs. I'll get to some of this tommorrow, assuming that I still have a desk and a computer when I show up late to work tommorrow.

Some of you may be thinking that I wiser man wouldn't be blogcasting (I know its a cheesily made up word. Thank you for noticing.) this sort of news to anybody with an internet connection for fear of losing his job. Well, you're right. A wiser man wouldn't do this sort of thing. Then again, I wiser man also probably wouldn't go skipping out of his office if he was fired right this second.

I need more draft analysis STAT!

Seriously, shouldn't Mel Kiper Jr., John Clayton, and Peter King be forced to produce (minimum) four columns of noteworthy draft material a day for this entire week. What the hell else have they been working on since Janurary?

Anyway...It's Friday!!! Nevermind, It's only Wednesday but its my Friday since I'm taking off the rest of the week. There's really no reason for me taking this vacation other than maybe pure laziness which of course isn't an acceptable answer. I am going to see The Roots in Orlando tommorrow night so that's a good enough excuse for Friday, but as for tommorrow...well I guess if you back me into a corner I'll have to go with...alcoholism. Apparently the judges have conversed and alcoholism IS an acceptable answer. Sweet.

I'm going to try to post some things in the next couple of days but they'll most likely be rather short and to the point. As my father always says, "There's something to be said for brevity." Actually, he never says that though he does often speak whimsically of Brevin Knight. Ok that's a lie too.

The Draft is fast approaching and we're starting to see some movement. The always over eager Redskins front office has traded into the #25 slot in an apparent effort to acquire Jason Campbell. As I mentioned yesterday, I think that Campbell can become a good starter in the NFL, eventually. Spending a first round pick on a somewhat inaccurate QB with questionable intelligence is...well, exaclty what you'd expect from the Dirt Worshippers. The other trade that went down yesterday was the Texans swapping second and third round picks for Phillip Buchanon. I was a huge Buchanon fan(both as a corner and punt returner) when he came out of Miami but since then he has been injured, inconsistent and a general disapointment. My guess is that he's spent a little too much time hanging out with Chaz Woodson. Maybe that's what the Texans think too and they are banking on him snapping out of this malaise once they pair him with a pro like Aaron Glenn. I sure hope so. Even if that is the case, it sure seems like the Texans overpaid for Buchanon. I can see giving up one of those picks but trading both is paramount to trading a late first round pick. With the depth of the corner class this year (and the overall draft) the Texans would've been better served to hold onto their picks and use one of them on a corner.

Anybody wondering why the University of Florida hasn't been a dominant program in recent years need only look at this year's draft for one of two main reasons...lack of experienced talent. Florida will have four players drafted this year, at most. After you get past Channing Crowder and Ciatrick Fason the only other players with even a chance of being selected are Mo Mitchell and Reynaldo Hill. The enormous Mitchell is more than likely looking at a free agent contract while Hill would be in the same boat if he hadn't run a 4.3 forty during Florida's pro day. For some perspective, Hill was so off the radar of NFL scouts that he wasn't even invited to the combine. Of course, after running the afforementioned forty in Gainesville, Hill will probably end up going in the fifth or sixth round. One other player to keep an eye on is OJ Small. He won't get drafted because he has very average speed but he was an extremly productive receiver in the SEC who runs great routes and has huge strong hands. He'll make somebody's team as a free agent and end up having a nice little career as a fourth receiver in the NFL. Oh yeah, and the Gators were coached by Ron Zook for the last three years, which never helps.

Of all the upcoming playoff series', the one which excites me the most is easily the Wizards-Bulls matchup. Two very young and exciting teams who have almost no playoff experience on their roster so they'll both be learning on the job. If pressed for an answer I'd go with the Wizards to prevail only because the Bulls will be without Eddy Curry and Luol Deng. Both of these teams have the potential to be at the top of the Eastern Conference for many years to come if they are able to re-sign some key free agents (Curry, Chandler, Hughes, maybe, maybe Brown) while keeping team chemistry intact, which is hardly a given in today's NBA. Besides the youth of each team, the other part of this series that excites me are some of the matchups we'll be privy to. Here's a quick rundown of some of the more intriguing showdowns:

Arenas vs. Hinrich: One of the more underrated defensive point guards trying to shutdown the league's most prolific scoring point.

Gordon vs. Hughes: Hughes does just about everything well, including defend and his size could really bother Gordon late in games.

Jamison vs. Whoever: This will most likely be Andres Nocioni since Deng is injured. If the Bulls were able to make Jamison work on defense by running some plays for Deng early then they'd stand a better chance of shutting down Jamison on the other end. As good a defender as Nocioni is, I don't think he has enough size to bother Jamison especially if he isn't forced to guard anyone on defense.

Steve Blake vs. Chris Duhon: Ok, this is only intriguing to Dick Vitale.

One thing that I forgot to mention about the Bucs draft is my hope that they are able to acquire Elton Brown. I believe that Brown has the potential to be the best offensive lineman taken in this draft and if there is one area that has been a constant achilles heel for the Bucs (even during the Super Bowl run) its the o-line. My dream scenario work like this: One of the Williams boys in the first round (I'd take Braylon Edwards or Ronnie Brown as well) followed by the Bucs selecting Elton Brown with their second round pick while Bruce Allen makes a trade for another second round pick which the Bucs use to select Mike Patterson.

One thing I forgot to mention last week: Steve Spurrier didn't even wait until the fall to start taking shots at Fat Phil Fulmer. Even going so far as to downplay the recent missteps by South Carolina players by comparing them to the numerous felonies that have been accrued by Tennessee players this spring. God, I missed that guy.

Hey girl. Do you want to see my big board?

Do you think when he's had one vodka tonic too many that Mel Kiper ever says that sort of thing to the young NFL groupies wandering around Manhattan this time of year? If not, he should really give it a try. It's either that or pick up Ron Jaworski's scraps...which is a scary thought. On second thought, I apologize for ever bringing this up.

Soooo, I'm back and somewhat distracted by the latest Medeski, Martin & Wood album "End of the World Party (Just in Case)". By distracted, I mean that I'm sitting at my desk with my feet up while listening to the CD over and over again. It's not really that new of a release as it hit stores a few months back but I didn't decide to download it until late last week. For those of you not familiar with MMW, check out there website www.mmw.net for more info on the trio.

As excited as I am about the upcoming NFL Draft, I have been unable to piece together any real coherent thoughts about the draft that I deem worthy of running on here. That should let you know just how disjointed my thoughts have been his week since I'll pretty much put anything on this site. With that said, I'm just going to hit you up with some quick random thoughts today until my brain decides to come back from its extended vacation. Maybe the teachers who ran the Ocean Breeze Elementary "Just Say No Club" were right about the evils of drugs after all. Oh well, its too late now.

- Golden Sate is my new favorite team to watch and the #1 reason I'll be subscribing to the NBA package next year. I don't know how good they'll be (Adonal Foyle does start) but they are thoroughly enjoyable to watch on a nightly basis.

-Thomas Davis will end up being a perennial Pro Bowl selection if he is moved to outside linebacker. He's a bigger version of Derrick Brooks and will be an immediate impact player in the NFL.

-I must be the only guy on earth who's not sold on Braylon Edwards. He's an extremely talented receiver, but I don't think he makes enough plays in crucial "move the chains" situations. I'll take Mike Williams if I had to choose between the two. Then again, I also thought that Michael Clayton was a bad pick by the Bucs last year. Ummm, yeah...I was a little off on that one.

- Warning: Hypothetical GM talk beginning now: If I needed a QB and Jason Campbell was available in the second round, I would draft him immediately. If he is allowed to learn the intricacies of quarterbacking in the NFL for a couple of years, he could be the best QB in this draft.

-I don't think that Adrian McPherson will EVER have the mental capacity to be a good starting QB in the league. I'd be willing to bet on it. Then again, maybe my mouth is writing checks that my butt can't cash. Get it? Bet on it...Cashing checks? Nevermind.

-David Pollack is going to be a fantastic special teams player, which is great...for somebody drafted in the fourth round.

- Channing Crowder has the talent to go alot higher than he's being projected and will be a steal on draft day provided that one specific thing happens when he comes into the league. The one thing: He is slotted at outside linebacker. He does not fight through traffic or shed blocks well enough to be an effective middle linebacker in the NFL. He will be much more effective if he's put in coverage and pass rushing situations.

- Admittedly, I only watched Maryland once all year but I can't escape the feeling that Shawne Merriman is going to be a huge bust.

- Say what you want about FSU (seriously, say whatever you want) but that school has a very impressive recent history of putting big time left tackles into the NFL. Alex Barron is just the next in line.

- Overrated: UAB WR Roddy White
-Underrated: USC DT Mike Patterson

- It's going to take Troy Williamson a couple of years to develop into a legit NFL starting wideout. He played in a glorified middle school offense at South Carolina and the difference in the mental aspects of the game are going to make his adjustment alot harder than your average rookie receiver.

-If the Bucs want to trade up for Alex Smith, then I'm all for it. I really think that Smith will be a heck of an NFL QB in a few years and his strengths are perfect for John Gruden's system. Unless the Bucs can grab him (for sure) then I don't see any reason why they would give up a second or third round pick to move up. At pick #5 you'll get two choose between a bunch of very good talent at WR and RB. If the Bucs draft Aaron "product of the system" Rodgers then I'm going to throw up.

-With tight ends being so in vogue (and effective) right now, how has Heath Miller managed to slide so much? I know that he's been injured but his play over the last two years at Virginia should speak for itself. The NFL's obsession with measureables drives me crazy sometimes.

-Alright, I'll say it...Carlos Rogers is better than Pac-Man Jones. Also, keep an eye on Corey Webster. He's going to start next year, guaranteed.

-Biggest bust of the draft: Fabian Washington. Here's a guy who has flown up draft boards based soley on his 40 time (which WAS amazing). Here's the problem: He wasn't overly productive in college, is undersized, and didn't exaclty face the highest caliber of receivers on a weekly basis in the Big 12. Other than Oklahoma, who else in the Big 12 has consistently produced NFL caliber receivers over the last couple of years? That's right, nobody.

-Wherever Ciatrick Fason goes, I hope it is to a team that runs some version of the West Caost offense. Philly would be a great fit for him.

-Clinton Portis is an awesome dude...http://www.gainesville.com/apps/pbcs.dll/article?AID=2005204190321&source=email

They should sell Mel Kiper Jr. wigs in the mall. Think about it.

It's just too hectic around here today for me to post anything so I'll get back into it tommorrow with some NFL Draft coverage. This should really be one of the more exciting (if you can call anything that involves that much talking exciting) drafts of recent vintage since their seems to be so much parody among the top 50-60 prospects. I am eagerly anticipating it...not as much as I'm anticipating the four day weekend that I have ahead of me but still, it should be fun.

I heard during the Jazz-Blazers game last night (yes, I was that bored...waiting for Deadwood.) that Jerry Sloan and the Jazz want Deron Williams in this june's draft. That would be a perfect marriage of a system and a player, if you ask me. Which, by the way, I know that you didn't.

We'll spend some quality time together tommorrow...I promise.

If everybody was in shape, then who would we laugh at?

Finally, Draft Day is here!!!

What do you mean the draft isn't until next week? No. You're wrong on this one buddy. I'm watching the selections in the WNBA Draft right now.

Ohhh, the draft that everybody has been talking about is the NFL Draft? It all makes alot more sense to me now. Though I must say that I can't really understand why there isn't more made about the WNBA Draft. I mean, c'mon the WNBA is at least the seventh most popular professional sports league in America.

Actually, scratch that, I've just received word that Midget Billiards has moved into the number seven position. It was a good run while it lasted there WNBA.

The celebrity softball game was mediocre at best last night with both Herschel Walker and George "the Animal" Steele registering no-shows. Oh well. The highlights were few and far between but there was still enough going on to keep me mildly entertained.

-Former American Gladiator "Tank" was in attendance and brought along an illegal bat that he was telling everybody on his team to use. Just to review: Tank brought an illegal bat...to a charity softball game.

-Former Road Ruler Ibis looked as if she had never even seen a sporting event, much less participated in one. I've seen tee ball players with a better grip on the rules of the game than she had. In a completely unrelated note: She is absolutely beautiful...but could certainly use some one-on one time with a treadmill and a few less trips to Friendly's.

-The years (and more than a few plastic surgeons, I'm sure) have been very kind to Sheila E. I'd definitely call her a DILF...a drummer I'd like to fuck. What the hell did you think I was talking about?

-Former big league journeyman/pitcher Dennis Rasmussen is huge. I mean enormous. I'd have guessed offensive tackle or tight end if I'd been forced to guess a sport and position. The man is the size of a Grizzly Bear.

-Highlight of the night: Watching Eric Nies try to use the dugout fence to get himself up to the stands in order to sign autographs for his adoring fans ( more than likely some distant cousins). When the former host of "The Grind" pushed off the dugout fence with his feet, it gave way and caused Nies to fall (flat on his back) to the dugout floor some five feet below. Hilarious. The only possible way it could've been any better would've been if he'd banged his head on the dugout steps during the fall.

Further proof that ESPN is run by a bunch of monkeys who have no business running a network based on sports: On ESPN.com today, there is a poll asking fans to vote on the biggest bust in NFL Draft history with choices such as Tony Mandarich and Ryan Leaf. Another name on the list is former Tennessee Volunteer Heath Shuler. It's just too bad that the good folks in Bristol spelled his name Heath Schuler. Way to go guys. I wonder why Blare Thomas wasn't on the list?

I may be really late with this link as it is apparently the most downloaded clip on the internet but I just saw it yesterdy and I wouldn't be able to look at myself in the mirror if I didn't it share it with you. http://www.ebaumsworld.com/numanuma.html Enjoy your weekend.

I can play softball and I've been on television TWICE!

Tonight the stadium that I work at is going to be flooded with celebrities and even more crowded with the kind of people who worship celebrities and go to horribly boring events, like say...a celebrity softball game.

It's pretty pathetic when people derive some sense of self from adoring people who they don't even know. Yet, it is far more sad (and humorous) when the people being worshipped are such luminaries as Deney Terrio, Mike "The Miz" and Sheila E. Yep, that's what qualifies as a celebrity around these parts and I wish I could say that the good people of this community aren't pathetic enough to come out for an event of this nature. I could but I'd be lying. Not only will the slack jawed yokels of eastern central florida be attending this even tonight but they'll be doing it with the passion and enthusiasm that they normally reserve for tractor pulls and republican rallies. I promise to report back with the highlights of tonight's festivities tommmorow. Frankly, I'm just hoping that George "the Animal" Steele shows up and eats a turnbuckle.

Yesterday brought the news of Matt Walsh and Anthony Roberson declaring for the NBA Draft. One must first understand that declaring for the draft is not the life altering decision that it once was. I can remember sitting in my house dumbfounded as I perused the internet looking for confirmation of the news that my neighbor had delivered about Donnell Harvey declaring for the draft. When I found out that it was indeed true that Donnell had declared, I just sat in my chair thinking, "Why? Why would an undersized power forward with no discernible offensive skill declare for the NBA draft?" I couldn't figure it out and even if I could have , it was too late. Donnel Harvey was gone and there wasn't anything that could change that.

These days declaring for the draft is often an exercise in exploration. A player will enter the draft and go to the Chicago pre-draft camp in order to determine his draft status while also receiving advice from various NBA personnel on the areas of their game that need improvement. So I was not nearly as crestfallen when the news about Walsh and Roberson came down yesterday. Each player is entering the draft for different reasons and we will delve into them here.

Matt Walsh: Walsh and his father met with Billy Donovan shortly after the season to inform Billy of their plans. Matt intended to enter the draft and use the time before the draft as means for the evaluation of his game. If Walsh receives a first round guarantee (Ron Zook could also become an NFL head coach in this hypothetical world) then he would go ahead and enter the draft. More than likely he will return for his senior season at Florida with a better idea of how NBA scouts view him and what specifically he needs to improve in order to have a shot next year. Walsh has been working out at the IMG Academy in Bradenton for a couple of weeks already and will continue to do so until just before the pre-draft camp in Chicago. Now, I'm no NBA scout but this would be my guess as to the top three things that NBA scouts tell him to improve: Strength (stop working out with Tood Pinkston), Athleticism (only so much you can do about that) and Ballhandling. If he returns and has improved some of his obvious weaknesses, then Walsh has a shot to be the SEC Player of the Year and really improve his standing in the eyes of NBA scouts. Personally, I think that Walsh's only shot at the NBA is as a shooter off of somebody's bench but you can't fault the kid for trying to improve himself.

Anthony Roberson: Roberson is a different story altogether. First off, Roberson doesn't come from nearly the stable financial situation that Walsh does and there is word that he's receiving a healthy bit of pressure from his family to declare, which always makes a situation like this tough for a young kid. Further complicating the situation is the fact that Roberson wanted to declare after last season. Basically, Roberson had Donovan check with some of the NBA scouts that he knew and Roberson found out that he'd struggle to even be drafted at all, so he came back to Florida. After a year in which Roberson led the SEC in scoring and finished second in the player of the year voting, it stands to reason that Roberson's stock has gone up. It probably has but, with that said, it is still doubtful that he will be selected in the first round. Simply put, Roberson is not a natural point guard or a good enough ball handler to survive at his size in the NBA. He's a combo guard with an aversion to defense who also struggles to involve his teammates at times. I find it hard to fathom that Roberson will get anything more than cursory consideration as a first round pick, especially when you consider how overmatched he looked against Villanova's guards in the NCAA Tournament. Regardless, most people around the Florida program feel like Roberson is gone whether he receives first round guarantee or not. For further proof of this, one need only take a look a Florida's latest signee: Florida Air Academy PG Walter Hodge. Hodge was the MVP of the State Tournament and was considered the highest rated point guard still available by most recruiting analysts. If you're scoring at home (you need a new hobby) that makes two point guards in the past two recruiting classes for Billy D. If Billy really thought that Roberson might stay, wouldn't he have used his last scholarhsip on a big man or a wing player? I certainly think so. From a personal standpoint, I would love to see Roberson return next year with a greater commitment to defense and the mindset of taking the ball to the hoop more often. When you consider how weak next year's point guard class could be, his chances of making it into the first round are substantially better than this year which is as loaded a point guard class as the draft has seen in years. If he decides to declare this year then I hope that Anthony has a passport and a spanish to english dictionary.

My take: Roberson leaves. Walsh returns.


I think that Florida will miss Roberson next year (especially on offense) but they should be able to transition while still remaining a top tier SEC team by becoming a better defensive team on the perimeter (Roberson's defense was spotty at best) and if Walsh can handle being the go-to guy for an entire slate of SEC games.

Now where the hell is Eric Nies?

It's nice being perfect and never messing things up.

Pay no attention to the day that blogger says these last couple of posts are from...actually pay attention and then go ahead one day. If it says wednesday, then it was posted on thursday. I know that its hard to believe that the good folks at blogger could screw something up, but sadly it IS true.

Who doesn't like drunks? Seriously.

Quick update today because I am unusually busy getting ready for tonight's game against the Jupiter Hammerheads. I know what you're thinking...what an awful name! I concur, though I have always thought that they could make the name alot better. All they would have to do is change their logo from the shark that they currently have to a picture of a half shaven dude with a bottle of liquor (preferably wrapped in a brown paper bag) pressed up to his lips while the cartoonish drunk bubbles floated upward from his head. I mean, wouldn't you wear a hat with a huge boozer on the front? I know that I would. That's probably a big reason why I work in MINOR league baseball.

Further proof that ESPN is laughably out of touch with the general sports scene: Tonight's Washington Nationals home opener is NOT going to be nationally televised on the Worldwide Follower. Instead, the country is going to get the Yankees-Red Sox for the nineteenth time this year. You've got to be kidding me with this shit. I know that the Yankees and Red Sox are a huge deal and everybody is enamored with this rivalry and that's great. Even with that, is there any possible excuse for ESPN choosing to broadcast yet another April matchup between these two teams instead of showing the first home baseball game in our nation's capital in over 30 years? What a joke.

Finally, If you are a fan of good hip-hop (see: nothing that appears on your radio or MTV) then go ahead and try and download Common's new album "BE". He's always been a great rapper but now he's back on the sauce, which has had a very positive effect on his music. It's not coming out for another month or so but you can just go ahead and steal it off the internet like me. Don't act like you don't already do worse than that on a daily basis.

It's Africa hot out here....

Or more appropriately... in here. The AC is broke in the ticket office AGAIN, so I'm just sitting at my desk sweating. Out of curiosity I just went and checked the thermostat right outside my office and it read 83 degrees. 83 degrees? You've got to be kidding me, right? Simply put: NO. It is actually cooler outside (on a sunny April day in Florida) than it is in my 'effin office. I can't take much more of this so I'm using this as my excuse for not writing a whole lot today. Well, that and the whole back thing which makes the act of typing quite painful if I do it for more than three minutes at a time. Hopefully, our AC will be back tommorrow and my back will also be further down the road to recovery so that I can bless on you peons with my witty commentary on all things sports. Until then, I will leave you with a few things to chew on:

1) I went from second place in my fantasy baseball league (last thursday) to dead fucking last in the entire league (13 teams) in a span of less than a week. I guess I should pay attention to baseball and updating my lineup on the weekend, huh? Oh well. I'm just lulling my competitors to sleep anyway.

2) Bill Simmons, aka Sports Guy, is having a kid. That's great for him and I'm sure we all wish him the best, but does anybody else get the feeling that this is the end of enjoying anything that the man writes...ever? I know that's the first thing I thought when I read yesterday's column. I'm betting we're about three years away from sentences like, "Am I the only person who thinks that Dora the Explorer looks ALOT like a young Johnny Damon? I didn't think so." If things like this begin to happen and I don't mention it, then its safe to assume that I've hung myself with my shoelaces and that my helper monkey has picked up the blogging responsibilities on my behalf.

3) And finally, here's an excerpt of an email that I sent to one of my former roomates today:

"In case you hadn't heard, the NHL playoffs would have started tonight. Just imagine how excited you would be today. You would be able to watch multiple (that means more than one) playoff games starting at 7 PM tonight. Instead all you were able to watch was some even crappier than the NHL (hard to do) college hockey last weekend. I hope you are enjoying this beautiful era of sports without gay ass hockey. I know that I am.

Things could be worse...at least you have the memory of the Yankees winning last year's World Series to keep you warm at night...Ohh! My bad.

Go San Antonio Islanders!!!"

For the record, I don't hate hockey at all. I do, however, hate this kid and all of the teams that he supports. Aren't you pissed off that you don't know me better? I would be.